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Don't get me wrong, I greatly appreciate the fact that you're at least putting effort into sincerely arguing your points. It's an argument I've enjoyed having. It's just that your points are wrong and your reasons for thinking they're right are stupid.

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I AM THE MAYOR OF DICKSVILLE!

Started by Doktor Howl, September 15, 2011, 01:58:56 PM

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Doktor Howl

I WOULD RATHER CAUSE TROUBLE THAN FUCK DRINK, WHILST IN SANDWICH, ILLINOIS, AT THE COUNTY FAIR.  IN THE FALL.  IN THE RAIN.

JUST AFTER THE GREASED PIG CONTEST.

AND JUST PRIOR TO THE PIE-EATING CONTEST.

THAT IS ALL.  YOU MAY NOW RETURN TO YOUR LABORS.

DOK
COULD IN FACT FUCK UP A COUNTY FAIR.
Molon Lube

Adios

I would rather do all of that while drinking.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Hawk on September 15, 2011, 02:29:30 PM
I would rather do all of that while drinking.

You have to choose.  It's an Illinois thing.
Molon Lube

Adios

Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 15, 2011, 02:30:16 PM
Quote from: Hawk on September 15, 2011, 02:29:30 PM
I would rather do all of that while drinking.

You have to choose.  It's an Illinois thing.

Fuck that, packing my suitcase to get the hell out of there right now!

Cain

It's not a real county fair unless at least one marriage is ruined, unexpected rain occurs, something is set on fire, the bouncy castle is deflated and some complete bastard steals the (overly warm) cider.

In my experience, at least.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Cain on September 15, 2011, 02:33:55 PM
It's not a real county fair unless at least one marriage is ruined, unexpected rain occurs, something is set on fire, the bouncy castle is deflated and some complete bastard steals the (overly warm) cider.

In my experience, at least.

Over here, we have slightly different customs.

Marriage ruined:  Check.
B list celeb (country singer) gets too drunk to remember the words to the one hit he/she ever had.
People still think huge mutated squash/pumpkins are fascinating.
Bouncy castle:  Check, but only after 6 kids get concussions.
Cider:  Americans prefer Coors Lite, for reasons that have never been clear to anyone.
Someone gets run over in the parking area.
Molon Lube

Adios

Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 15, 2011, 02:36:33 PM
Quote from: Cain on September 15, 2011, 02:33:55 PM
It's not a real county fair unless at least one marriage is ruined, unexpected rain occurs, something is set on fire, the bouncy castle is deflated and some complete bastard steals the (overly warm) cider.

In my experience, at least.

Over here, we have slightly different customs.

Marriage ruined:  Check.
B list celeb (country singer) gets too drunk to remember the words to the one hit he/she ever had.
People still think huge mutated squash/pumpkins are fascinating.
Bouncy castle:  Check, but only after 6 kids get concussions.
Cider:  Americans prefer Coors Lite, for reasons that have never been clear to anyone.
Someone gets run over in the parking area.

In this part of the country the fair has to include a rodeo or it's big fail. Last year was "Tough Enough to Wear Pink" Rodeo. LMNO would have had a perpetual erection.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Hawk on September 15, 2011, 02:40:09 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 15, 2011, 02:36:33 PM
Quote from: Cain on September 15, 2011, 02:33:55 PM
It's not a real county fair unless at least one marriage is ruined, unexpected rain occurs, something is set on fire, the bouncy castle is deflated and some complete bastard steals the (overly warm) cider.

In my experience, at least.

Over here, we have slightly different customs.

Marriage ruined:  Check.
B list celeb (country singer) gets too drunk to remember the words to the one hit he/she ever had.
People still think huge mutated squash/pumpkins are fascinating.
Bouncy castle:  Check, but only after 6 kids get concussions.
Cider:  Americans prefer Coors Lite, for reasons that have never been clear to anyone.
Someone gets run over in the parking area.

In this part of the country the fair has to include a rodeo or it's big fail. Last year was "Tough Enough to Wear Pink" Rodeo. LMNO would have had a perpetual erection.

Tucson has "Rodeo Days", which replaces that requirement.  During Rodeo Days, at least 3 small children have to be trampled by runaway horses during the parade, or the crops will fail.
Molon Lube

Cain

Oh dear god, not mutated fucking vegetables.

If horses are present, they can substitute for cars running people over in parking lots.  Tractors can also break down en route to the field, causing mass traffic jams on the small, countryside roads.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Cain on September 15, 2011, 02:41:59 PM
Oh dear god, not mutated fucking vegetables.

Every year.  It's reminiscent of The Truth, by Terry Pratchett, except they aren't shaped like a penis.  Usually.

On that note, a new Vimes novel is coming out next month.
Molon Lube

Adios

Quote from: Cain on September 15, 2011, 02:41:59 PM
Oh dear god, not mutated fucking vegetables.

If horses are present, they can substitute for cars running people over in parking lots.  Tractors can also break down en route to the field, causing mass traffic jams on the small, countryside roads.


Cain

I'll have to put that on pre-order.  Vimes is hands down Pratchett's best character.  Plus, Vetinari will probably be involved somewhere.  And maybe, if we're lucky, Moist von Lipwig, too.

Adios

Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 15, 2011, 02:41:13 PM
Quote from: Hawk on September 15, 2011, 02:40:09 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 15, 2011, 02:36:33 PM
Quote from: Cain on September 15, 2011, 02:33:55 PM
It's not a real county fair unless at least one marriage is ruined, unexpected rain occurs, something is set on fire, the bouncy castle is deflated and some complete bastard steals the (overly warm) cider.

In my experience, at least.

Over here, we have slightly different customs.

Marriage ruined:  Check.
B list celeb (country singer) gets too drunk to remember the words to the one hit he/she ever had.
People still think huge mutated squash/pumpkins are fascinating.
Bouncy castle:  Check, but only after 6 kids get concussions.
Cider:  Americans prefer Coors Lite, for reasons that have never been clear to anyone.
Someone gets run over in the parking area.

In this part of the country the fair has to include a rodeo or it's big fail. Last year was "Tough Enough to Wear Pink" Rodeo. LMNO would have had a perpetual erection.

Tucson has "Rodeo Days", which replaces that requirement.  During Rodeo Days, at least 3 small children have to be trampled by runaway horses during the parade, or the crops will fail.

:lulz: I have ridden my horse in those parades. Failed to run over any kids though.

Luna

New Vimes novel, happy Luna.

Y'all forgot the tug of war where you get to drag rednecks through the mud.  You can actually convince some of them to compete against a vehicle.

Bonus points if you can get the horses involved.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

the last yatto

Who ever invented deep fried twinkies deserves an award
Look, asshole:  Your 'incomprehensible' act, your word-salad, your pinealism...It BORES ME.  I've been incomprehensible for so long, I TEACH IT TO MBA CANDIDATES.  So if you simply MUST talk about your pineal gland or happy children dancing in the wildflowers, go talk to Roger, because he digs that kind of shit