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What is a spag?

Started by Cramulus, September 23, 2013, 04:39:58 PM

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Cramulus

Post your own definition/imagery of a "spag".


For me, the perfect image of a spag is:

an obnoxious ten year old boy making too much noise and windmilling his arms for no goddamn reason

Cramulus

That guy who's standing ahead of you in line, and just as he gets to the cash register, he answers his cell phone and he's talking too loud.

You briefly make eye contact with the cashier. Without a word, and without any visible reaction, you are both psychically on the same page: this guy is a spag


you grab your own balls in frustration

Cramulus

It's eleven hundred degrees. You're drenched in sweat. Steam is coming off your body. Meat which touches your body is instantly cooked.

Some guy flashes a horse-like grin and goes, "HOT ENOUGH FOR YA".
Then he brays like a donkey at this supernova of a joke.




You bite your lip so hard your teeth touch

The Good Reverend Roger

The food chain, from highest to lowest:

Glorious Faggot
Spag
Someone I know from around the way.
Pond Algae
Noob
Gloryhole Squeezings
Ann Coulter
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cainad (dec.)

that one kid who is CONSTANTLY spitting loogies

like every 10 minutes with this spag, it's a big *snrrrkt* and then a *pbpptht* for no fucking reason

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Cramulus on September 23, 2013, 04:53:09 PM
It's eleven hundred degrees. You're drenched in sweat. Steam is coming off your body. Meat which touches your body is instantly cooked.

Some guy flashes a horse-like grin and goes, "HOT ENOUGH FOR YA".
Then he brays like a donkey at this supernova of a joke.




You bite your lip so hard your teeth touch

Generally, everything goes red at that point, and then it's HAHAHA I'LL NEVER GET THIS SHIRT CLEAN NOW!  Then Billy Mays shows up and tells me about OxyClean.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cainad (dec.)

Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on September 23, 2013, 04:57:08 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on September 23, 2013, 04:53:09 PM
It's eleven hundred degrees. You're drenched in sweat. Steam is coming off your body. Meat which touches your body is instantly cooked.

Some guy flashes a horse-like grin and goes, "HOT ENOUGH FOR YA".
Then he brays like a donkey at this supernova of a joke.




You bite your lip so hard your teeth touch

Generally, everything goes red at that point, and then it's HAHAHA I'LL NEVER GET THIS SHIRT CLEAN NOW!  Then Billy Mays shows up and tells me about OxyClean.

:lulz: You guys sure get some pretty strong mirages out there in the high desert.

Like, you can touch them and everything. Weird!

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Cainad (dec.) on September 23, 2013, 04:58:34 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on September 23, 2013, 04:57:08 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on September 23, 2013, 04:53:09 PM
It's eleven hundred degrees. You're drenched in sweat. Steam is coming off your body. Meat which touches your body is instantly cooked.

Some guy flashes a horse-like grin and goes, "HOT ENOUGH FOR YA".
Then he brays like a donkey at this supernova of a joke.




You bite your lip so hard your teeth touch

Generally, everything goes red at that point, and then it's HAHAHA I'LL NEVER GET THIS SHIRT CLEAN NOW!  Then Billy Mays shows up and tells me about OxyClean.

:lulz: You guys sure get some pretty strong mirages out there in the high desert.

Like, you can touch them and everything. Weird!

I like that description.  Wait til I tell Marilyn Monroe and Elvis about that tonight.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cramulus

A spag is just smart enough to know that Bill Gates probably won't give them fifty thousand dollars for forwarding that one e-mail, but they send it anyway.

You receive this e-mail, you immediately rip out your own eye balls and chuck them in the trash.

Cramulus

When you ask a spag if the movie was any good, they tell you the entire plot, and spoil the best jokes.

You break a plate on your head.

Cramulus

You're at a friend's house. You ask if you can use the bathroom, and to be cute, they say "No".


But instead of laughing at the joke, you shit your pants in open defiance

Cramulus

You're at a restaurant. Starving.

You already know what you want, and are ready to order, but your friend is rambling about something boring.

The waiter comes over, politely waits for your friend to finish rambling, but she doesn't. You eventually have to nudge her elbow. The server asks your friend if she knows what she'd like to eat. Your friend says No. The waiter patiently walks away, hovering nearby. Your friend doesn't even pick up the menu, she just continues the story. Your stomach growls, the story goes on. And on.


To pass the time, you speedbag yourself in the face.

Cramulus

You pour yourself a delicious 72 ounce caffeinated soft drink beverage

Just as the oversized rim touches your lips, Mayor Bloomberg zips by on roller-skates and slaps it out of your hands, causing you and your entire family to be splashed, drenched, soaked to the bone with highly acidic coca cola product.

Mayor Bloomberg is a spag.

Your face melts, Raiders of the Lost Ark style.



The Good Reverend Roger

I remember spags in the military.

"Hey, Roger, guard my bourbon, I'll be back in two hours."

or

"Hey, Roger, keep my girlfriend company until I get off of guard rotation."

Ah, the good old days, when Spags just LINED RIGHT THE FUCK UP with their pants around their ankles and their stupid hanging out.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.