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I scraped the labels off of every empty bottle of prescription medication I threw away, and disposed of the pieces in separate trash bags, for about a month after I read the book.

why?

Irrational paranoia. It wore off, though. Now I am very rationally paranoid about the radio-trans-whatever-the-fuck the Government put on my water heater. No joke, everyone in the neighborhood (a military housing base, btw) got one, and it's got a little green light and one of those tamper-evident locks. We all got letters telling us how it's supposed to help in the event of a power outage or save energy or some such fnordy nonsense.

I loved it, although having read it, I'm 100% positive that Coldstone Creamery, one of the places I work at, is an Illuminati front.

I scraped the labels off of every empty bottle of prescription medication I threw away, and disposed of the pieces in separate trash bags, for about a month after I read the book.

Hold onto the paranoia as long as you can.

I am appendix-positive.

I'm not. They took mine out

It was a really good one too; I was told that it was like 6 inches long.

I think a good example of this would be some elements of the Christian fundamentalists.  Y'know, the ones the government is oppressing by not allowing them to organize prayer in schools and academia is oppressing by alternately suppressing and ignoring creation science, and the media is oppressing by essentially declaring a war on values and trying to flood their homes with sex and depravity, and Wal-Mart is oppressing by saying Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas, and the gays are oppressing by indoctrinating their schoolchildren with the Day of Silence.

innocent question

isn't it a testament to the utter stupidity and shortsightedness of people who can see the looming disaster on the horizon, that they/we are not preparing (or even talking about preparing) an independent infrastructure/economy for distributing the goods, services and information that will be critical for maintaining any kind of survival (let alone resistance) when the shit really hits the fan?

The Rapture is their exit strategy.

Oh.  I thought they were just planning on shooting people and taking their stuff.

That's how they have fun, and it's also the backup strategy. If the Apocalypse doesn't happen, then at least they'll have horked a bunch of cool stuff.

innocent question

isn't it a testament to the utter stupidity and shortsightedness of people who can see the looming disaster on the horizon, that they/we are not preparing (or even talking about preparing) an independent infrastructure/economy for distributing the goods, services and information that will be critical for maintaining any kind of survival (let alone resistance) when the shit really hits the fan?

The Rapture is their exit strategy.

God didn't send the forty days and nights of rain to eliminate the evil in humanity. He sent it to eliminate ME, and it ain't my fault that ol' Beardy McJehovah can't kill off a fucker properly. And Noah could have just gone for higher ground, but he didn't want to be cornered with me stomping around.

There's a big-ass volcano just a short plane trip from where I live, and you wanna know why it hasn't blown up since I've been here? It's because it's fucking SCARED. It emptied its molten bowels right back into the fucking mantle of the Earth itself. It'll erupt when I say so, and the first monkeyshit excuse for a human to actually get on my nerves (which is not easy, since the electrical impulses in my nervous system run at about 16 gigawatts) is getting a face full of lava.

I am the one stealing that sock out of your dryer all the time, and I do it just to fuck with you.

Paperwork fills itself out in my presence. Traffic flows smoothly when I'm around, or else I personally get rid of the traffic... with my bare hands. Fruit instantly ripens to perfection in my hands, out of SHEER TERROR of what I'll do if I bite into a bitter banana.

AND THE FUCKING GOVERNMENT HAD TO TURN OFF THE BUG THEY PLANTED ON MY WATER HEATER BECAUSE THEY WERE GETTING NIGHTMARES FROM THE FEEDBACK.

I am what all the anti-Semites are afraid of. I am a hook-nosed, curly-haired, brown-eyed terror, and I always let my enemies get a head start because I'd die of boredom otherwise.

You should take hot showers more often.

ITT Nigel showing off her lexicographer's humor.

And lol, it's like being asked to go to your local Discordian Society to have your briefs taken off.

[But we don't sail around the ocean in a big yellow submarine.]

-Add a subsection explaining that Everyone should write to their local papers about this. They can use a sample letter, or come up with their own. Remember that they are not writing AS Discordians, but rather as citizens who are concerned ABOUT Discordia. Make it BELIEVABLE -- it's totally believable that we're an orgiastic cult. But we don't sail around the ocean in a big yellow submarine.

FUCK YOU CRAM I RENTED OUT PEARL HARBOR JUST FOR YOU GUYS

THE WHOLE FUCKING HARBOR!

For the next few months, my current timezone means that I could dominate the late-night/early-morning live broadcasts. Which would be great because no human being should be subjected to my productions on a regular basis.

Lulz
The Internets
Bacon (nvm, had some this morning)
Losing The Game
Cynicism
Alienating people by declaring things they like to be overrated

What

Payne, your code broke.

Laugh instead. Cackle until you pass out.