Level 23 Archer

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I KILL U ALL IN A SHOWER OF ARROWS WITH MY +4 BOW OF ELVENDOR AND PLUNDER YOUR INVENTORY

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THE ELF IN MY PARTY WISHS TO SHARE A FAMOUS ELF JOKE WITH YOU OVER YOUR DEAD BODY

Q) What kind of music do elves like best?
A) Wrap music!

[The Wizard]

I KILL U ALL IN A SHOWER OF ARROWS WITH MY +4 BOW OF ELVENDOR AND PLUNDER YOUR INVENTORY

I've got a tower shield. I'll fight in the shade, you bet I will.

[NotPublished]

If I get a dice roll of 5 or over it negates your Tower Shield effect.

ELF WISHS TO SHARE ANOTHER JOKE

Q) What kind of money do elves use?
A) Jingle bills!

[The Wizard]

(rolls constitution to avoid the death effect from the jokes)

[NotPublished]

NP the Magnificent observes his enemy Dr Semaj the Beggar-Queen, begging for medicine to cure his poor Conjunctivitis.

Heroically NP the Magnificent slays Dr Semaj the Beggar-Queen, thus winning the championships.

[NotPublished]

I SCORN EVIL IN THE EYE AND SPIT ON HIS YELLOW TEETH AS AGHAST I DRAW MY BREATH

I HEROICALLY FLEW IN AND SLEW THE WOUNDED BEAST AS HE GRAPPLED AT MY FEET BEGGING FOR MERCY

[Jasper]

I KILL U ALL IN A SHOWER OF ARROWS WITH MY +4 BOW OF ELVENDOR AND PLUNDER YOUR INVENTORY

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My inventory contains

1 downmarket cell phone
a piece of chocolate
TI-84 silver
glasses
ipod touch
..and some money

But not the quest item that you still need 35 more of.

[Freeky]

OH YAH? I AM A LVL 46 WIZRAD, AND I CAST FIREBALL ON YOU! YOU JUST TOOK 300 POINTS OF DAMAGE!

[NotPublished]

I EQUIP 3% WATER RESISTANT RING FROM SIGMATIC's INVENTORY, NULLIFYING ALL FIRE DAMAGE

I MAGNIFY SUNLIGHT THROUGH SIGMATIC's GLASSES, SLIGHTLY WARMING UP YOUR HAIR MISTRESS FREEKY

DO YOUR WORST

[Freeky]

I DUMP A BOTTLE OF WATER ON MY HEAD (FROM SIG'S INVENTORY) TO PREVENT GETTING TOO HOT.

"PREPARE TO DIE, SPAG!"

I USE NECROMANCY ON YOU! YOU ARE NOW A ZOMBIE UNDER MY CONTROL!

[Jasper]

OK, almost none of that shit was in my inventory.  You guys are CHEATERS!

[NotPublished]

I USE THE CRACKED MIRROR OF SEIZURE (Also from Sig's inventory) AND REFLECT YOUR LASER BEAM(s) OF NECROMANCY ONTO SIGMATIC

MY ELF WISHS TO SHARE ANOTHER JOKE.

Q) How long should an elf's legs be?
A) Just long enough to reach the ground!

[Jasper]

Dude.  I hate you so much.

[NotPublished]

 

I RUN AWAY SUCCESSFULLY AFTER ROLLING A 6 ON MY DIE.

I FIND MYSELF IN THE ENCHANTED GROVE. SUDDENLY, LIKE GREASE LIGHTNING I FIND A NEWS PAPER AD PERSONAL ON THE FLOOR AT MY FEET

"I like long walks on the beach...
Candle light dinner
And holding hands..."

I SUMMON THE CARRIER PIGEON USING MY +7 SCOUT SKILL AND AGREE TO GO ON THIS QUEST