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Rant 69.5_Chaotic Sexual Acts

Started by St. Spew, KFC, September 28, 2004, 06:50:12 PM

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St. Spew, KFC

"Imitation is the sincerest flattery"    
Charles Caleb Colton

"Imitation is at least 50 percent of the creative process"    
Jamie Buckingham

"Imitation is the sincerest form of television."    
Fred Allen

"Imitation is suicide"
Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Then again I might just be crazy."
St. Hugh

The holes in your socks are protesting against the sinking of your life into the terminal bureaucracy. Especially if they seem to be cut and pasted from assortments of tabloids, irreligious tracts, toothpaste directions, commercial advertisements, and the random thoughts that fly by every now and again. Instead of learning who the prettiest ones are, people will instead compete with each other, and even aspects of themselves in order to call themselves the prettiest, or the best, or whatever else is the catchphrase of the day. And if you think you are in a foul mood now, wait and see how foul of a mood you,Äôll be in if your toilet stops working.

We bring you insanity in a bottle and never for once charge you for it, unlike your therapists and healthcare professionals, who charge you outrageous sums for insanity, cleverly marketed as Sanity,Ñ¢ in nice neat little packages of happy pills, spiritual seminars that promise something or other, religions of endless guilt, or regimens designed to keep you happily in line. Perhaps I am just talking endlessly about nothing really. All the while most of the population is comfortable to agree with this, since the govercorporatemedia tells them that this is something they should agree with and how they should go about agreeing. If you want to start calling the shots in your life, you had best wake up and take the wheel. The squirrels outside are raving mad and shouting at you to wake up before you walk right into Eris, who will be having a bad day at that exact moment.

The Bastard hippie children of the Illuminati have convinced some of ye that Money is the source of all that is foul, while they line their pockets with the earnings. The only thing you need decide for yourself, if such a thing need be decided, is how much drivel you are willing to put up with before you decide to start looking around for yourself at what the fuck is really going on. Everything is impermanent, even the gods,Ķeven all of those countless immaterial beings which humans have experienced and speculated over throughout time. If THEY did want it, that would mean that THEY would have to stop shitting around with themselves and take some responsibility for the messes THEY create and then have to live in. The White Mouse and the equally infamous Purple Monkeys have found the happy cracks in the foundation of civilization as-we-know-it. So instead of sitting there in a funky cloud of DOOM and dazedness singing off-key ,Äòwoe-is-my-hell-and-the-world-is-meaningless,Äô pseudo-dark angsty songs, you (unless you get off on the dark angst thing) could be out causing a ruckus or taking part in some sick, sick, sick and twisted heathenanigans, for the love of Eris! The rest jism at the center.

Indulge me a little on a parenthetical discussion. And I won,Äôt say anything about the rise in incidences of (parenthetical invasions of surreal phenomena (whether occult or not) into (or onto (in as much as either preposition reflects reality (as opposed to reality,Ñ¢) in, whether verifiable or not), any way) (possibly) certain (or uncertain) colorful and ODD) damned and uncategorizable things such as, but not limited to: Druid groups stealing trees and replacing them with,Äîwho knows why,Äîartificially hardened cabbages (much in imitation of the supposed Illuminati doing the same with people); ice-cream trucks that, during the brief time before Homeland Security took over the operation of ice-cream trucks, were selling certain ,Äòspecial,Äô brownies in the city of Seattle; potted cactuses, with the phrase ,ÄúChicago is actually an old Welsh word from Arizona meaning ,Äòcactus,Äô,Äù written on accompanying cards, being sold to tourists at various places in downtown Chicago (not the most funny mindfuck, though it did provide hoots, and to be fair, those TMC people responsible for the prank are drunk all the time anyway); certain Discordian groups visiting Hare Krishna temples and chanting ,Äòrub-a-dub-rama-lama-ding-dong,Äô at the temple devotees until at least one or two of them ran away (possibly to get security, but no one knows since the Discordians know well enough to leave quickly upon chanting such esoteric and enlightening chants),Äî And if these parentheses would stop interrupting me, I may get around to saying what it is I want to say, if I even, in fact, have something to say, in as much as there is anything to say, in as much as it can be said. In any event, I can always play cut-up with texts and insert them here. Or you can.

You have always known deep down inside that enlightenment was only a light switch away, but instead you cobbled together your own new-age dharma or fluffy-Zen to excuse the fact that you don,Äôt want to wipe thine own ass and blow thine own nose. But, if you are one of those people, don,Äôt assume it,Äôs that way for myself or everyone else. You cry about the meaninglessness of society yet refuse to see that such a society is exactly what you have made of it. You go off on heroic spiritual retreats or quests in the effort to convince yourself that you are a hero when all you are really doing is playing with a vivid imagination. Illumination, hiddly diddly poo, will come to you when you realize the great truth masked in semantical gesticulations of "both/and"! Remember that freedom of choice (,Äòheresy,Äô) is only a sin to those who are absolutely bound to their beliefs, convinced that such beliefs and perceptions are not only right for them but that they are right for all others. Come to your own knowledge of it. And please disagree. Keep your minds fluid and shifty with as much access to various beliefs and opinions simultaneously. You can play along and do the deed of whatever it is you have to do in order to be let back in, or you can burn the fucking place down.

The ancient chaoist dictum ,ÄúI have no fucking clue,Äù serves up the wisdom of this whole line of thought quite nicely. None of this has anything to do with explaining the real reasons why the doors and the windows keep moving around. Thus my latest idea that not only can my pipe smoke you all, but its smoke has some weird latent occult powers that should never be underestimated. Perhaps I have smoked way too much pipe tobacco, or perhaps Eris is playing with my coffee again. I have some of my own ideas (and the first thing that comes to mind is the one I won,Äôt say anything about because some of you seem to think that I am scary enough as it is) of which more will be revealed to you later, but you must first learn the secret handshake, and don,Äôt ask me how. Perhaps this whole exercise of citing examples, while not officially doing so, is just a slim veneer of excuses to explain more of our, as opposed to their (of THEM fame) doings. DUMB has convinced most people that chaos is the problem while the approaching of DOOM reaches around your necks to slowly choke the parts of life that are non-compulsory out of you. Look at all the headless chickens running around pretending that THEY still have heads as THEY try to control things all the while never seeing for themselves that all their attempts only add to their loss of control. The Hermetic traditions, whether embodied in Free Masonry, Illuminism, or the Templars who became the rebellious High Seas Pirates, or the revival of the cult of Discordia, fought for ages in Europe and its colonies, struggling and conspiring to overthrow the system of Church and of Emperors. And if that doesn,Äôt work we have electric shock treatment available for a limited time only.

Well? What the hell are you going to do about it? Yes, you! If your mind doesn,Äôt explode from time to time then you are probably not doing something right. You have assumed a self, but there is no self. Wake yourself the fuck up, or I will set fire to your bobdamned toes! You bow before no gods, goddesses, kings, queens, rulers, or authorities? Sucker! Quit spilling the bobdamned milk and then crying about how it,Äôs not your fault! And you,Äôre so smug in your own denial that She,Äôll have to smack you with a sledgehammer to snap you out of it. It is possible that you are a worse liar than I am. Then again, I am probably just a little bit ODD anyway.

The society I live in, controlled by the Unistat Empire, which has replaced the terminally ill former Republic, has gone to shit faster than a bowl of moldy black beans and tabasco in a drunk man,Äôs intestines. But this sea of yahoos, and of yahooism in general, should be no surprise to anyone, living as we do in a consumerist society of DUMB and DOOM. The most disheartening thing about the commercial culture and society in which we live is that it gives off the appearance of a wonderful chaos while it stifles the very freedom that is chaos. The labor movement is being bought off by bright televisions and shiny new toys, even as they lose the right to affordable healthcare and social security. There are millions of slaughtered Indians who, not fitting into the schema of Pax Americana and eurosupremacist dominance, could testify to the fact of American paranoia and fear against ?´savages?? and what the subsequent hatred led to. The president, when reached for comment breaks down into fits of laughter shouting "Pretzels! Pretzels! The terrorists are in the pretzels! Hahaha!"

OM is the reason why people change from being Liddle Deluded Dupes into Legionaries of Dynamic Discord, or Lickers of Liquors Distilled, or Leering Lost Discordians, or Likeable Lively Drinkers, or Lecturing Lectors of Discordoxy, or Some Other Such Things or Personages Unnamed Unless you wish to be Named. You may hold out hope that the blind goddess Chaos will arise and free you from the world??s situation. Annihilate the present reality by dissolving the strictures of past and future in an alchemy of ecstatic gnosis. The only way to get out of this little mental ego trap, is to first admit to oneself that illumination is quite a scary endeavor and , as such, is not desired at this time. Whatever you do, make sure it is what you will to do.

People trained to imagine imagery, even if constrained to Capitalist icons, will eventually seek associations that necessitate their escape from modern languages and into deeper mental processes. In that case, it is really not my fault. It is your fault. Yes,ĶYou! We throw the Golden Apples of Discord, because we are the Golden Apples of Discord, with KALLISTI written all over ourselves. Not only can my pipe smoke you all, sometimes I get the impression that my pipe is smoking me. Splash some COLOR on the path, my gents, and watch it explode with riotous Erisian meaning in all it's prismatic glory! Reality is just a word people use when they want you to agree with their personal biases and opinions. Chaos hints and clues are all over the place. Chaos is the celebration of our right to feel ecstatic. Prefer one or the other, if you must, but know that it is your preference. The dance of chaos is dangerous only when you forget how to laugh and how to banish with extreme prejudice the mental traps you may fall into. Where are the dreamers and the crazy Zen-masters? it originally was a response to an insult about my Paganism. And rest assured, or not, that if Eris is playing a joke on you, it will be damned funny.

Structures that oppose chaos and life must always expend their energy in trying to maintain themselves. You build highways and factories and cities and yet you proceed to cry about how mechanical and meaningless your lives have become. How do you know what having different selves is all about unless you have explored other radically different expressions of self? Yea, exceedingly heavy were the tablets that God gave unto him. If someone tells you that you just contradicted yourself, then you know you are doing well. With a charge so powerful, one can probably glimpse why anyone would become a Discordian.

People claim to be on a spiritual quest to find enlightenment or evolution and yet run in horror away from any small glimpses of what that entails to the point where they must take false shelter in the apparent security of belief. I wonder how many of you out there would run in horror from a real uprising if that uprising meant that you would not be able to have caf?à lattes every morning, unless you made them yourselves. You may find yourself doing all sorts of silly little things to be able to see Eris, but chances are you already have by that point. But that said, look at it as the overt infiltration of Eris into the minds of DUMB. The White Mouse is freely running around provoking chaos and tequila-drinking binges. And I share it with you all so that you may too let it sink in. Frankly, you are paranoid because you are enslaved. The difference between performance artists and everyone else is that performance artists know they are performing. I posit that the idea of comfortable people claiming that circumstances of suffering are willfully chosen in all cases is a patent absurdity that can only be believed by those classes of people who need excuses to absolve themselves of any guilt for their contribution to those relations of power and unequal resource access. May Eris smoke them all in the fires of their own apathy. Why not just be free ourselves and not worry about the rest of society rapidly sinking into the tyranny of DUMB normalcy? Since the monkeys see no problem in eating us, we will start eating them. We have our laughter, which is the center of all existence, no matter where you are.

My friends, we are the disorderlies of Chaos. The adept creates situations in which they make their own decisions. All those wishing for illumination or just an entertaining time should henceforth visit the Purple Monkey Cabal central office/playground/pub/bowling alley located at the second star to the left of the red cloud that pulsates. There is no escape. There is no true exit. Do you know what you are truly looking for? And even though you know my slave name, you'll never know just who I am. Romance is but another way for the cocoon of order to crush any sensitivity and to stifle any intimacy. And please pass the cheap imitation revelations because I am tired of all that gobbledy gook that passes for free thought. None of it matters unless you choose to make it matter. If you could avoid the slap, you would lose your sense of humor?ñlaughter would flee from you faster than an Illuminati agent from an armed Discordian. What do many of us think the word discordia really means? The solidity of our bricks of fear is solvent in the wash of the Goddess. You can access/contact/ or complain to the Department at any time by using your own pineal glands.

Am I bordering on being ,Äòdisrepectful,Äô?

All Hail Discordia!

(Bureaucracy xx, 31xx)

+billions and billions of discodian trivia points if you can identify where each line comes from

MedeoPlusPlus

I can honestly say that I could not get through that entire thing (due to volume, not content).

Who's with me on that one?
1. e4             e5
2. Bc4           Bc5
3. Qf3           Ne7
4. Qxf7++

LMNO

Once I figured out what he was doing, I stopped.  

Funny concept, though.

MedeoPlusPlus

1. e4             e5
2. Bc4           Bc5
3. Qf3           Ne7
4. Qxf7++

LMNO

Quote from: MedeoWhat concept was that again?

He did a Burrough's Cut-up of Hugh's rants & pasted them in a huge mish mash.  Read the fine print in the original post.

MedeoPlusPlus

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I get it now.
1. e4             e5
2. Bc4           Bc5
3. Qf3           Ne7
4. Qxf7++

~~~~Closed~~~~

Quote from: MedeoI can honestly say that I could not get through that entire thing (due to volume, not content).

Who's with me on that one?

my attention span prevents me from reading the entrie thing.

Irreverend Hugh, KSC

Hah!

Finally!

Someone got the cut-up tags and went with them! Hallefuckingluyah and Hail Eris!

(And I believe i know just who it is.)
"Time for the tin-foil hats, girls and boys!"

St. B

Miss Anthropy masturbates me with her LEFT hand!

fluffy

Quote from: St. Hugh, KSCHah!

Finally!

Someone got the cut-up tags and went with them! Hallefuckingluyah and Hail Eris!

(And I believe i know just who it is.)

phhhfffffftttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Irreverend Hugh, KSC

Quote from: fluffy
Quote from: St. Hugh, KSCHah!

Finally!

Someone got the cut-up tags and went with them! Hallefuckingluyah and Hail Eris!

(And I believe i know just who it is.)

phhhfffffftttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fNoRd
"Time for the tin-foil hats, girls and boys!"

Rupert Giles

Quote from: St. Hugh, KSC
Quote from: fluffy
Quote from: St. Hugh, KSCHah!

Finally!

Someone got the cut-up tags and went with them! Hallefuckingluyah and Hail Eris!

(And I believe i know just who it is.)

phhhfffffftttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fNoRd

I haven't heard that dialect in universes.

Irreverend Hugh, KSC

Yeah. It's special hippie dialect from the early seventies, or so I'm told.
"Time for the tin-foil hats, girls and boys!"

Rupert Giles

Quote from: St. Hugh, KSCYeah. It's special hippie dialect from the early seventies, or so I'm told.

Ia! Ia!  Sixteen Letter Word for the Black Goat with a Thousand Young!  Ia!  Ia!

Chef

Quote from: Freakazoid!
Quote from: St. Hugh, KSCYeah. It's special hippie dialect from the early seventies, or so I'm told.

Ia! Ia!  Sixteen Letter Word for the Black Goat with a Thousand Young!  Ia!  Ia!

YOU WON'T BE SAYIN THAT WHEN SENIOR GOAT AND HIS THOUSAND YOUNG ARE HUMPING THEIR WAY THROUGH YOUR INTESTINES!
CHEF LIVES IN A MANTION.  YUO LIVE IN TENSE.