ITT: Best Posts of the Day

[Cramulus]

Nigel's a girl on a forum
Her husband lacked proper decorum
She's pouring her rage onto a poetry page
And asking her lawyer to gore 'im.

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

Hi. This post, this one right here, is my 1000th post.

In honor of this (sad, pathetic, totally pointless) achievement, I present a bash.org quote that reminded me of PD.com when I first signed up about a year and a half ago. Enjoy (or not)!

<Devildrake> www.meatspin.com
-About 3 minutes later-
<Yodo> Woot 1000 spins
<Yodo> This game needs highscore table and ingame chat
<Devildrake> Dude wtf, it's a shock site, not a game...
<Yodo> Oh...

[Cramulus]

very belated :

aight cool:

here it is:

occult systems - tarot, palmistry, astrology, as they are commonly used right now are nonsense

entertainment

they are good for fooling people

playing on sensitivities etc


but
they are useful from 2 angles:

1 - they suggest a process
2 - they all suggest the same process


it is nothing more than a creative description of a observed process

a process that starts with birth, progresses to death and suggests re-birth



call it whatever you want to call it
creative story telling

so in that sense, it is literal

these are literal descriptions of a process


a lot of the threads here have focused on figuring out where/why/how these systems developed

different people have different reasons for investigating this


for me personally, it makes it easy to put dope material together

the greatest story ever told can be told 10000000000 different ways



as for doing useless things - i guess that depends on your perspective on things

whats useful?

a lot of people say we are on the brink of apocalypse

most of the other people are doped up on various substances or hooked on money and chasing tail


if you buy into some sort of magic in occult systems, i feel sorry for you
but
if you dismiss any value that can be derived from occult systems, i dont think thats a wise move either


yin/yang was not a money-making scheme invented by the ancient chinese

the local i ching reader in any north american china-town does, however, prey on customer ignorance


Monk is a good dude
he grilled me on this shit before when i was debunking astrology

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

In reference to my discovery of onesentence.org

oh god this site is going to be the death of me.

DAMN THEE, TTM

"Let's find out!" I said as I reached for the piece of dental floss hanging out of my dog's butt.

"It cost me $17,000 to prove to my son that steel wool is truly flammable."

He thought the slap I gave him was just an experiment in light S and M, but it was actually the anger of the past few months that I had to release in order to bring myself to sleep with him.

Unconditional love is when you take the batteries from your vibrator to power your child's favorite car.

The lesson I learned that night was "Don't sleep your way backstage to a show that only costs five bucks."

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

Not because it's an exceptional post, but because it's been a pretty failtastic day in terms of good posts and, in part, because it wastes Livejournal's bandwidth.

[Suu]

Can you really die from too many forced handjobs?

- Concerned in AZ.

Dear Concerned --

While some pose that dehydration due to a draining of bodily fluids is the danger, everyone knows that the real danger is in the chafing. After too many handjobs, the delicate skin of the penile region will begin to flake off, not unlike sawdust flying away from an industrial strength sander doing its thing. First, the horror at seeing the naughty bits quite literally cut down to size simply by the force of a hand while begin to make the penis-owner go a little weird in the brain. Following this, he will start screaming, because, let's face it, rubbing aggressively on regions recently deprived of their protective upper layers of skin hurts like a MOTHERFUCKER. Once the rubbing continues and the man-pole is now more like a man-nub, we hit the point of no return--basically, we go below sea level. A sub-surface layer of BLOOD VESSEL is now on the surface and spraying blood everywhere. Hooooooo baby, that's a lot of blood. On the plus side, Jackson Pollock only dreamed of this kind of absurdist, impressionist, heathen spraying of color across a given landscape. Not that the penis-owner in question will remain alive with long enough to fully appreciate the art his dying body is creating.

Anyways, Concerned, while Murder By Handjob is possible, it's certainly slow, messy, and can get monotonous after a while. I'd recommend shaking it up a little bit by mixing in some surprise buttsex in order to keep the killer interested. There's nothing more saddening than to see a murder whose heart's not in it.

Best of luck with the killin',
-DC

[P3nT4gR4m]

Rehab is for quitters. Are you a quitter, Lys?

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

And here we go.

News flash:
Roger will always be Roger, Cain will always be Cain. We will all always be who the fuck we are. Right now we are like a large semi dysfunctional family with 2 of the cousins fighting instead of kissing.
THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE AND WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

...lots of writing and smart stuff or something...

Ah, fuck it.

[Payne]

I have my own Big Bang theory

No, it has nothing to do with what you're thinking, SHUT UP.

The universe is a big cone, you see, and all of the matter settled in the point. Matter is always trying to achieve an equilibrium, but it can't, for reasons that are complicated, like relationships.

So the matter all settles in the point of the cone, and then it's all too close together and repels everything from itself, so it starts to "expand", ie migrate away from other matter. It expands and expands, and as it expands, the cone flattens, until it can flatten no more, and the matter all freaks out by how far away it all is from the other matter, and starts to contract, on the other plane of the cone. It contracts and contracts and the cone gets conier and conier, until all the matter is too close together in the tip of the cone, and then...

It's basically the same as the doughnut model, but way more fun.

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

Someone should make one of these and bring it to his apartment.

[fomenter]

Quote from: Thurnez Isa on Yesterday at 04:47:59 PM
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on Yesterday at 04:34:09 PM
Seen it before.  For those who don't want to get RealPlayer:  It's Bush's Mission Accomplished speech but the infamous banner has been edited out by shifting the screen upward.


yes
lol

i just happened upon it and thought it was hilarious
THE MISSION ACCOMPLISHED BANNER WAS JUST IN YOUR IMAGINATION

yes i was on whitehouse.gov spending my sunday night laughing at speeches   

Oceana has always been at war with Iraq.   

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

             CATS AND DOGS
             LIVING TOGETHER
                                 \

                                 /
                     MASS HYSTERIA

[Messier Undertree]

FACT: I've never had cake at any party I've ever thrown. The vast majority of consumables were liquid and nobody really gave a shit if they were divided evenly after the first few.
What should you take from all this? Numerology is silly.

[Cramulus]

what is the most secretive of all the secret societies?

The 2001 Energy Commission convened by Dick Cheney.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

there is to be no discussion of this film outside of threads clearly labeled FAUST KEEP OUT, until the 27th of this month.

Heath Ledger dies.

for some reason, this made me laugh hard.