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The Waffle Iron Lyrics thread

Started by EK WAFFLR, March 03, 2012, 12:30:17 AM

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EK WAFFLR

Good evening boys and girls!
I have started writing lyrics for the next Sermo III Album, and I wanted to exploit the talent of you wonderful people by letting you read drafts of my lyrics and critique them. Hope y'all don't mind. :)


First one:

Beaneath her whispered wings
The deceit, the lies, her secrets lie.
Above her, in an old oak tree
a cuckoo sings

In the bitter, cold wastelands
that is my mind, I fall to the ground
and weep, tears turning to ice on my face

I'm a broken mirror
shards of glass cuts into my soul
and I bleed out

Her screams echo in my skull
but they give me no pleasure
she prayed to a dead god
her face completely numb

Her smile, a smashed gateway
to the nameless horrors
that reside within her

My memories, hopes
and dreams fade into nothing
I hear her derisive laughter

And in my mind's eye
I freeze to death

( here is a demo of the actual song)
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


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Nephew Twiddleton

I like the lyrics. The music for it is creepy and a bit unexpected. I like that.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

EK WAFFLR

Quote from: An Twidsteoir on March 03, 2012, 01:07:44 AM
I like the lyrics. The music for it is creepy and a bit unexpected. I like that.

Thank you!
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


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Oysters Rockefeller

As someone who is often a dick about bad lyrics...these are pretty swell.

Love the drums and keys on the demo. How'd you get that distorted effect of the drums, by the way?
Well, my gynecologist committed suicide...
----------------------
I'm nothing if not kind of ridiculous and a little hard to take seriously.
----------------------
Moar liek Oysters Cockefeller, amirite?!

EK WAFFLR

Quote from: Oysters Rockefeller on March 03, 2012, 03:08:49 PM
As someone who is often a dick about bad lyrics...these are pretty swell.

Love the drums and keys on the demo. How'd you get that distorted effect of the drums, by the way?

Thank you, Good Sir Oyster!

I sent the drums through a guitar amp, used noise gate,a compressor, and reverb. Logic FTW.
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


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Oysters Rockefeller

Nice...I might have to try that soon.
Well, my gynecologist committed suicide...
----------------------
I'm nothing if not kind of ridiculous and a little hard to take seriously.
----------------------
Moar liek Oysters Cockefeller, amirite?!

EK WAFFLR

Would random verses and drafts of half finished stuff be of any interest at all?
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


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EK WAFFLR

RANDOM SNIPPETS WARNING.

I have no idea what to make of these, but feel free to criticize, boost my ego, or destroy it completely.

9312/2

A
Round and round we go
round and round and round and round and round
we are being perfectly still
on the filthy, muddy ground

B
the carousel goes down
down down down down down
into the darkest recesses of my brain
there, the murderer hides, dressed  like a clown

C
Light is stabbing my eyes
my eyes see I my eyes see I my I see eyes
I yearn for the total black
And my soundtrack is her lies and cries.

D
IT wants me to be wicked
I mean mean, mean mean meany mean
my room is a padded cell
the ferry man demands to see my ticket

E
Blood is the only smell
Smelly smell smell smell
Even though I am the vessel of steamed loathing
my body is an empty shell

F
Meet my inner Dominatrix
Dominate tricks, tricky tricky Trickster
feed me feet first into the void
face to face with matrix creatrix



9312/3

A
I see folks that aren't there
the voices are not in my head
somethimes I think I'm not here
Can it be? Am i dead?

B
You are the light of my life
my one true love, my sole reason
to go on living
You're always here for me, when I am alone
lonely, miserable and all by myself

C
Are you there?
Come to me, pretty please
Never ever ever ever leave me be
where'd you go? Don't go!

D
The strangely sexual touch
of invisible hands
that may or may not exist outside of my own head
I don't really know.

E
I hate you now.
More than you can ever know
I will get you, even if it means I have to
wade through a world of blood to find you

F
I'm coming for you.
You can't escape me for too long
I have seen you. I'm coming for you.
Where are you?
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


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hirley0

7:47 my guess is you shoud try color coding your words for a day or two

ABCDEFG ROYGBVBk

Arim the Backwards One

These looks really good!
I especially like that 9312/2 draft. That whole 'round and round and round and round' thing. I'm a sucker for repititions when they are used like that :)
Also, i like the dominatrix/trickster/matrix creatrix wordplay at the end.
Trying Too Hard since 1997
---
"If you can't laugh at the darkness, that's when the darkness takes over." - Amanda Fucking Palmer

EK WAFFLR

Thank you!
I thought the 'face to face with matrix creatrix' line looked suspiciosly familiar when i typed it in here. Turns out it's from a Current93 song.
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


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Arim the Backwards One

Quote from: Waffle Iron on March 19, 2012, 12:57:08 PM
Thank you!
I thought the 'face to face with matrix creatrix' line looked suspiciosly familiar when i typed it in here. Turns out it's from a Current93 song.

You're welcome :)
Ah, that happens for me once in a while too.
Trying Too Hard since 1997
---
"If you can't laugh at the darkness, that's when the darkness takes over." - Amanda Fucking Palmer

EK WAFFLR

Quote from: hirley0 on March 18, 2012, 02:47:56 AM
7:47 my guess is you shoud try color coding your words for a day or two

ABCDEFG ROYGBVBk

That's a good idea! Thank ye!
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


Horribly Oscillating Assbasket of Deliciousness
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Oysters Rockefeller

Quote from: Waffle Iron on March 19, 2012, 12:57:08 PM
Thank you!
I thought the 'face to face with matrix creatrix' line looked suspiciosly familiar when i typed it in here. Turns out it's from a Current93 song.

Hey, in modern music it's impossible not to accidentally rip people off. I just shrug it off and keep going, as long as its nothing too bad.
Well, my gynecologist committed suicide...
----------------------
I'm nothing if not kind of ridiculous and a little hard to take seriously.
----------------------
Moar liek Oysters Cockefeller, amirite?!

EK WAFFLR

I'll keep it until I figure out wether these random snippets will be used at all.
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


Horribly Oscillating Assbasket of Deliciousness
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