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Letters (from an arsehole)

Started by Placid Dingo, March 18, 2012, 06:48:20 AM

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Placid Dingo

 Letters (from an arsehole)

On use of time.

Greeting from Seneka Mori to his dear friend Lucilius.

Do not contend too heavily with the thieves and robbers of your time dear Lucilius, at least not on their own terms. Many will come to deprive you of this most precious commodity, so precious indeed that once lost, it can never be regained. Vengeance can be had, surely, but even so this does not bring back our lost time. We will always lose time. There are three types lost to us; that which we surrender to idleness, that which is torn from us, and that which is taken gently.

That which we surrender we have not remedy to complain against. Have not we ourselves been the thief but not the beneficiary of this crime? There is no remedy for this but to be aware of when we are wasting our time, and to refuse to accept such villainy from our baser nature. When watching TV just to entertain us, when stalking your ex-girlfriend on Facebook, when replaying resentful or hurtful scenes in our minds, we lose this time to our own foolishness.

The more insidious (or at least, most punishable) form of time theft comes from those who would take your time for their own purposes. The boss who demands four hundred pages of documentation, the friend who drags you to tiresome events, anyone who tries to sell you anything, ever. You do not solicit these thefts just by your existence or networks. There are two ways we can deal with these intrusion Lucilius. We may seek to block these intrusions through bluntness or incompetence. As the wise Feynman would do, spread rumors of your irresponsibility. Express that you are too busy, or more directly, too unwilling to participate in these ventures. Sometimes these impositions will be unavoidable, but often we will liberate ourselves quite nicely with such refusal.

Punish those who insist on their right to the theft of your precious time. Do not seek vengeance out of malice; malice is not our forte; but out of a desire to keep your time, by spending it on your own amusement. To do so one must master the troll, which I shall discuss in further letters. Aggravate the thief. Play dumb, feign confusion. Lead them into confusing arguments. Arrive late. Give gifts that will cause distress, such as pet mice or awkwardly sized items. If one has children we can pass on items that creat great noise and allow the children to do our work by proxy. In short, dedicate yourself so wholly to your own amusement that the thief will consider twice before attempting again such a vile crime.

Last those who take gently are usually true friends. Time taken so gently is taken with an embrace that we would usually be willing to accept with grace. To be an arsehole is not a permanent state but a skillful art. A painter does not practice his craft underwater; be similarly discerning about where you practice your arts.

One must eat the hell out of a hamburger, and live the hell out of each day. We do not look forward to death, we look back on it; for the days we have passed are already dead, and only those few left coming towards us are left living. Each day we pass is killed, and best killed with a mighty battle cry, not a sooky whimper. A soldier does not mind his manners in battle. We are in battle Lucilius, a line of slain days behind us, and a line armed and passionate running towards us. Would you suffer your army mates to sniffle and whine about your manner as you plunge your battle axe into the head of a foe? Then do not tolerate those who sook out as you battle the days – grin your bloodstained teeth and carry on hacking.

It is too late too value your time when little is left, just as it is too late to ration the wine when the last is left. Pour time into the glass with care that not a drop is spilled. Or better yet, fuck manners and drink from the bottle.
Haven't paid rent since 2014 with ONE WEIRD TRICK.

minuspace

I agree, however, stolen time is only a false token of exchange.  It is not a thief that deprives me of time, instead, I am deprived by allowing myself to think that way.  Time cannot be stolen, only given.  (my pontifications pale in comparison to your story)

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

You're on a roll lately, Dingo.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Oysters Rockefeller

This is really awesome. And I especially love that you don't hear people talk about wasting time very often, but really...if sin exists, wasting time is one of the worst.

Also, I dig the Feynman reference. That guy was a boss.
Well, my gynecologist committed suicide...
----------------------
I'm nothing if not kind of ridiculous and a little hard to take seriously.
----------------------
Moar liek Oysters Cockefeller, amirite?!

Placid Dingo

Cheers.

I don't know if it's obvious but it's meant to be a parody (or a tribute really) to Senecas Letters (from a Stoic).
Haven't paid rent since 2014 with ONE WEIRD TRICK.

Mistre

Uber Supreme Poobah of Pope-Groping™

He who acknowledges his own inability to answer a question is wise, he who does not seek one is stupid.

Placid Dingo

Letters from an arsehole.
Letter 2. On sufficiency and Enoughness.

When I was in school dear Lucilius I once was told by another student that their father's car was worth more than my father. Instead of a well measured response I retorted in anger and we argued for a little. The both of us were cursed by the sense that we had not enough, not of money but of respect from our opponent. Using financial sufficiency as a proxy we fought with words to remedy this, and won nothing from our opponent but further frustration.
What is the best way to prevent poverty? The answer, dear Lucilius, is to have enough. There are two ways to achieve this. The first is to persevere with working and hoarding until we have the desired amount. This way is filled with perils because we tend to see that the more we have the more we want, and as our 'perfect amount' is ever growing higher we find we are no closer to our goal after then years than we were after two.
The second way to have enough is to perceive what we have to be enough. Of course there is an amount to struggle for; we must yet eat, drink, find shelter and allow our children the same. But beyond the most basic of needs, we must find ourselves able to look at that which we have and be satisfied. When satisfied, little can hurt us. When we are happy with our lot, others cannot damage us. Why be jealous of his Ferrari when my car drives just as well? Why be jealous of his knack with women when my lover gives me all the love I need? Why be jealous of the admiration society gives to him when the admiration of my friends is sufficient for me? Why be jealous of Justin Beiber when he is forced to live his life being Justin Beiber?
The great Sancho Panza once spoke truly "Whether the pitcher hits the table or the table the pitcher, it's a bad thing for the pitcher." Most men have pitchers for an ego, ready to shatter at the least confrontation. Even if we are confronted with another fellow with a pitcher for an ego, such as the example I listed above, the shattering of the other's pitcher does not recompense the destruction of our own. Do you see? We cannot be the pitcher, but the table. Were I to be the table as above, I would not have budged. 'My father's car is worth more than your father's life,' my opponent told me. 'Very well,' I should reply, 'I hope that makes you very happy.' He will not go away satisfied but will continue to insult, but harm can he do? Could he insult my grades that I am satisfied with? The home that I am happy with? The life that satisfies me? You are satisfied! You are untouchable! Make the man slam down his pitcher and shatter it! Make him come up against you time and time again like a ship against a rocky shore. He perceives he has something to gain from you, and by remaining unbudging, you can leave him wanting every time.
I spoke to you that being an arsehole is an art. To insult someone is artless, it shows need and desperation. Let the fools come to you; there are enough of them. Cheerfully thank them for their attempts to upset you. Remain untouchable and they will drive themselves into a fury. Which is, as we know, funny.

Your true and honest friend.
Seneka Mori.
Haven't paid rent since 2014 with ONE WEIRD TRICK.

Mistre

This second one reminds me a little of Bonejangles and a passage of Shibumi. Great one! Although I have some objections to the whole "be satisfied with little" thing, I agree with the intent of the letter.

You are great, man. Keep it up!=D
Uber Supreme Poobah of Pope-Groping™

He who acknowledges his own inability to answer a question is wise, he who does not seek one is stupid.

Placid Dingo

Quote from: Mistre on April 25, 2012, 04:29:41 PM
This second one reminds me a little of Bonejangles and a passage of Shibumi. Great one! Although I have some objections to the whole "be satisfied with little" thing, I agree with the intent of the letter.

You are great, man. Keep it up!=D

Thanks. I love Bonejangles. Guy Incognito posted here for a while and I used some of his comics in the 10th Intermittens, and some of his Parables in a collection of writing from Discordians.

I have yet to read Shibumi.

This second one was hard because most of the original Stoic letter craps on about how reading more than one book at a time is a Very Bad Thing which didn't interest me (plus I disagree). He deviates though at the end to talk about how 'having enough is the cure for poverty (though Seneca himself was quite well off) so I put that theme to whole letter.

I think I do agree about being satisfied with little, but at the same time agree with ambition for more. One of those 'embracing contradictions' things.
Haven't paid rent since 2014 with ONE WEIRD TRICK.

Mistre

#9
I guess it's just a matter of personal philosophy, to me, the thing is being satisfied with yourself, and not with what you have. Being satisfied with myself automatically provides the balance between being satisfied with little and having ambitions.

I really reccomend reading Shibumi, one of my favourites books, heh.
Uber Supreme Poobah of Pope-Groping™

He who acknowledges his own inability to answer a question is wise, he who does not seek one is stupid.

Placid Dingo

Quote from: Mistre on April 26, 2012, 12:05:49 AM
I guess it's just a matter of personal philosophy, to me, the thing is being satisfied with yourself, and not with what you have. For me, being satisfied with myself automatically provides the balance between being satisfied with little and having ambitions.

I really reccomend reading Shibumi, one of my favourites books, heh.

I like that outlook.
Haven't paid rent since 2014 with ONE WEIRD TRICK.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Placid Dingo on April 25, 2012, 06:21:10 AM
Letters from an arsehole.
Letter 2. On sufficiency and Enoughness.

When I was in school dear Lucilius I once was told by another student that their father's car was worth more than my father. Instead of a well measured response I retorted in anger and we argued for a little. The both of us were cursed by the sense that we had not enough, not of money but of respect from our opponent. Using financial sufficiency as a proxy we fought with words to remedy this, and won nothing from our opponent but further frustration.
What is the best way to prevent poverty? The answer, dear Lucilius, is to have enough. There are two ways to achieve this. The first is to persevere with working and hoarding until we have the desired amount. This way is filled with perils because we tend to see that the more we have the more we want, and as our 'perfect amount' is ever growing higher we find we are no closer to our goal after then years than we were after two.
The second way to have enough is to perceive what we have to be enough. Of course there is an amount to struggle for; we must yet eat, drink, find shelter and allow our children the same. But beyond the most basic of needs, we must find ourselves able to look at that which we have and be satisfied. When satisfied, little can hurt us. When we are happy with our lot, others cannot damage us. Why be jealous of his Ferrari when my car drives just as well? Why be jealous of his knack with women when my lover gives me all the love I need? Why be jealous of the admiration society gives to him when the admiration of my friends is sufficient for me? Why be jealous of Justin Beiber when he is forced to live his life being Justin Beiber?
The great Sancho Panza once spoke truly "Whether the pitcher hits the table or the table the pitcher, it's a bad thing for the pitcher." Most men have pitchers for an ego, ready to shatter at the least confrontation. Even if we are confronted with another fellow with a pitcher for an ego, such as the example I listed above, the shattering of the other's pitcher does not recompense the destruction of our own. Do you see? We cannot be the pitcher, but the table. Were I to be the table as above, I would not have budged. 'My father's car is worth more than your father's life,' my opponent told me. 'Very well,' I should reply, 'I hope that makes you very happy.' He will not go away satisfied but will continue to insult, but harm can he do? Could he insult my grades that I am satisfied with? The home that I am happy with? The life that satisfies me? You are satisfied! You are untouchable! Make the man slam down his pitcher and shatter it! Make him come up against you time and time again like a ship against a rocky shore. He perceives he has something to gain from you, and by remaining unbudging, you can leave him wanting every time.
I spoke to you that being an arsehole is an art. To insult someone is artless, it shows need and desperation. Let the fools come to you; there are enough of them. Cheerfully thank them for their attempts to upset you. Remain untouchable and they will drive themselves into a fury. Which is, as we know, funny.

Your true and honest friend.
Seneka Mori.

This is good... well-written and with a practical as well as a metaphorical point.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Doktor Howl

Molon Lube