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Messages - Caliginos Gnosticos

#1
Principia Discussion / Re: the math poll
October 13, 2009, 08:28:04 PM
#2
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on October 12, 2009, 11:23:45 PM
http://www.disinfo.com/2009/10/chaoism-an-infantile-disorder/

This article (which I have not read) appears to be applicable to this discussion. On the flipside, it may be a strawman, or it may be something we have considered already. I am leaning towards the latter, myself.

I just read it. It's only somewhat applicable. I think the author is painting with a rather broad brush. He also seems to have had very little experience with discordians, or at least with any that actually take it seriously. On the other hand, he lauds RAW. Yet, insofar as discordianism is concerned, he misses the point. I'd go on, but if you read it, you'll see what I mean. Personally, I think he's a good candidate for a Jake, but that's just me. I'm a mean bastard. Anyone who feels like helping to illuminate the poor soul, here's his contact information:

Nick Pell
8.5 Allen Street
Salem, Massachusetts 01970
United States
(413) 455-8913

:pax:
ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! ALERT!
OM Protocol 23 is now in effect.
#3
Quote from: Cramulus on October 12, 2009, 08:05:36 PM
if you know anybody that speaks italian, you might dig

http://principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/index.php?title=Dialogue_of_Discordia

That is awesome. I wish I knew someone who spoke italian, the google translator gives just enough to be intriguing while still being terribly frustrating and confusing.
#4
Excerpt from Book 1: Conversations with Eris

Editors Note: As a matter of convention, the text has been color coded for your convenience. The author's words will be written in red, Eris' words will be written in green, and the rest of the text will be written in black. The parts that you aren't ready for will be written in invisible ink of the aforementioned colors.

Introduction

What you are about to read is a series of transcripts. These transcripts are the culmination of a journey that began with a late night conversation with a Goddess. My life had recently fallen apart, my wife had lost her job, we were about to lose our home, we had no savings, everything was all wrong. Most nights I couldn't sleep due and I wanted to die. It was on one of those nights when the giggling began. I was sitting in the dark in my livingroom, having a smoke, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't me giggling.

*giggle*

"Who's there?"

*giggle*

"Hello?"

*giggle*

"Oh my god. This is it. I've finally gone crazy."

"That should be 'Oh my goddess', and you haven't gone crazy. You were crazy long before this, but that's not the point here."

"And now I'm hearing voices."

"And talking to yourself."

"And talking to myself."

"And, for the record, it's quite normal to hear voices when someone is talking to you. Now, if you don't mind, stop being so damned emo. I'm a busy goddess and I don't have all millenium to stand around and watch you have a breakdown."

"Ok, I'll bite. Assuming you're not just the voices in my head, what do you want."

"Nothing."

"I see. Well, now that we have that settled, I'm going to go back to spiralling down into the depths of madness."

At this point, I turned to walk away from what I supposed was a figment of my imagination.

"No."

And there she was, standing before me in all her psychedelic glory. I found myself transfixed by her gaze. I couldn't move.

"I am Eris. I have come here to speak with you tonight. I don't have much time to waste and I still have twenty two others on my list after you. You are going to act like a big boy and have an adult conversation with me. Now. Sit."

I sat, and we talked. Once we got past the small talk, things started to get interesting.

"...and that's the secret to immortality."

"Wow. Who would have thought? I'm still not too clear on what the midget is needed for though."

"To hold the camera, of course. But that's not important right now. What's important is that we're running out of time and we need to discuss the real reason that I have come here tonight."

"To save me?"

"No. Even better than that. To tell you how to save yorself."

"How do I do that?"

"Easy. Stop needing to be saved."

"What? How is that supposed to be easy? It's not like I chose to be in this situation. I don't have any control over this. OW!"

She slapped me upside the head.

"Stop whining and listen!"

She slapped me again.

"Stop that! I'm listening!"

"First, you have to realize that you chose this. Maybe not on a conscious level, but you chose it."

"I did not! OW!"

"It's like that Rush song says: If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice."

"Now I'm confused. What do you mean?"

"You are the master of your own destiny. You are the maker of your own reality. You are faced with an infinite number of choices every moment of every day, and you choose nothing. You spend your life playing the game by their rules, going along with the crowd, being a good boy and not rocking the boat."

"But isn't that what I'm supposed to do?"

"Are you happy?"

"Mostly."

"Sometimes."

"No. Not really."

"I didn't think so. Why do you suppose that is?"

"Because life is hard."

"Only because you choose to make it so."

"But, I don't choose to make it hard!"

"Yes, you do. You let them hold you down. It's time you started fighting back."

"I can't! There's nothing I can do!"

*giggle*

"Why are you laughing at me?!?!"

"Laugh in the face of adversity, and I laugh with you. Cry in the face of adversity, and I laugh at you."

"That's not fair! I thought dieties were supposed to be kind and supportive!"

"We are, and I am. It's called 'tough love', look it up."

"I'm familiar with the concept. I just don't get how it applies here."

"Because you need it. Right now, you're a robot. You need to learn how to be a person."

"How am I a robot? I'm flesh and blood. I think. I feel. I'm already human."

"Maybe on on the outside, but inside you're a robot. You don't think. You only think that you think. You don't feel. You only feel that you feel. You are a mass of programmed responses controlling an automated meat sack. You don't think. You don't feel. You only react. A cabbage reacts. An animal reacts. A robot reacts. But, a human acts."

"I think I see what you're getting at. So, what am I supposed to do? How do I become human?"

"There are no easy answers. Well, there might be, but I'm not giving them to you. That would be counterproductive. You'll have to figure it out for yourself."

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"I'm not going to give you the answers you want, but I will give you the answers you need."

"OK, what are the answers I need?"

"First, write this conversation down and pass it on to others."

"All of it? Even the part about the bonobo, the rabbi, and the jesuit sockmonkey?"

"Maybe not all of it. How about you write down the important parts?"

"Important parts. Got it. What else?"

"I've spoken to others. Find as many of them as you can. Share this with them and collect their conversations with me. Put it all together in a book. Once you've gotten enough of them together, I will return and we will have another little chat."

"Ok. Anything else?"

"Yes. Three words of advice."

"Yes?"

"Think."

"For."

"Yourself"

And then She was gone.
#5
Quote from: GA on October 12, 2009, 04:49:24 AM
Show us what you have already, so we have a better idea of what you're looking for.

Excellent idea. Over the next few days, as I get some spot editing done, I'll post what I have so far.
#6
I'm looking for submissions for a new project. I am putting together a 5 book set, or maybe a book in 5 parts, called Pentalogia Discordia. The 5 books will be:

Book 1: Conversations with Eris
The title is pretty much explanatory. Submissions for this one should be written in a similar style to Neale Donald Walsch's Conversations with God, i.e. written as conversations with Eris.

Book 2: The Art of FNORD
This one should be a sort of OM strategy guide. Submissions for this one should be written in a similar style to Sun-Tzu's The Art of War.

Book 3: What Would the Purple Sage Do?
This one is meant to be a book of parables. Submissions should be in the form of short parables, similar to the parables of Nasrudin, Buddha, Jesus, etc.

Book 4: Zenarchy and the Art of Robot Maintenance
This one is an exploration of the philosophy of Discordianism and how it applies to our individual reality. If you have never read Robert M. Pirsig's Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, you can find the text of it online here.

Book 5: The Law of Distraction
This one, the final book in the series, should be something like one of those self-help books that are so popular these days. Submissions should probably be essays based on how to use the "Law of Distraction" to take advantage of people's preconceptions and prejudices. The point behind this one is kind of a follow-up to BIP, if it had a secondary title, it would probably be something like "Breaking back in to prison for fun and profit".

Anyone who might be interested, let me know. I'm also open to suggestions, critiques, etc. If you have something you'd like to submit but you don't think it'll fit in one of the above books, let me know and we'll see if we can figure out some way to wedge it in there. I'll also take submissions of short quotes, odd bits, memebombs, and other short pieces that I can use for filler.

#7
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on October 09, 2009, 04:55:02 PM
Quote from: Cainad on June 24, 2009, 03:44:14 PM
Look what I found on page 3:

Now it's on Page 11. 

And now it's on the back of my car.
#8
Principia Discussion / Re: List of Discordian books
October 09, 2009, 02:46:40 PM
Since a lot of the sites out there seem to have gone away, I'm in the process of putting up all the Discordian literature that I can find on the Sockmonkey Cabal website. It can be accessed at http://sockmonkeycabal.info/?page_id=35. It's currently incomplete, but I'm working on it. If you see that I'm missing something, let me know, especially if you have a copy of whatever it is that I'm missing. I want to build as complete a free discordian libarary as possible.
#9
Quote from: LMNO on October 08, 2009, 07:50:14 PM
Screw you guys.  Wonder is any time you consciously look for it.



If you aren't looking for it, whose fault is that?



LMNO
-belligerent optimist.

Actually, that would be my fault. I've been secretly stealing all the wonder and subliminally discouraging everyone from looking for it. It's all part of my plan for world domination.
#10
Principia Discussion / Re: Seeker-Watcher-seer?
October 06, 2009, 08:10:34 PM
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on October 03, 2009, 06:12:42 AM
WTF? I can't even read the first two pages of this thread. Were people really this stupid in the early days?

Not having been here, I will have to rely on the power of PT3MLTM (ParaTheo-MetaMystical Markup Language) to answer your question:

<obscure_mystical_guru>Once we were all stupid, in the time before time, in the mind before mind. We were all stupid until it rained. The rain cleansed our eyes and we saw the truth. Sometimes it just rains.</obscure_mystical_guru>

<jaded_sociopath>Were? Still are.</jaded_sociopath>

<paranoid_schizophrenic>Yes! No! Maybe! Who said that? You're with the CIA!</paranoid_schizophrenic>

<surrealist>The fish! Lick the snorkle!</surrealist>

<petulant_7_year_old>You're stupid.</petulant_7_year_old>

<gump>Stupid is as stupid does.</gump>

<hard_of_hearing>What? Were pizzas really made by cupid in a swirly haze? What kind of question is that?</hard_of_hearing>

<narcoleptic>ZZZzzz...</narcoleptic>

<fnord>fnord</fnord>


#11
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on October 06, 2009, 11:03:00 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 05, 2009, 10:14:47 PM
Quote from: Caliginos Gnosticos on October 05, 2009, 10:08:27 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on October 05, 2009, 01:22:55 PM
Make puns, not war.  

I'd rather make war on puns. It's the best of both worlds.

This.  RWHN was born wrong, and inflicts upon us what can be best described as crimes against humanity.  He is a monster, and will stop at nothing to offend our sensibilities.  Hell, IANAR was a regular person before "the incident", and RWHN has never even apologized.  We'll have to deal with him, one fine day.

When I was born, Abbot and Costello were on the TeeVee.  It was the "Who's On First" routine.  It was an omen.  This was to be my calling.  It....was......DESTINY!!













or maybe I was dropped when I came out....who knows?

Or maybe it that's just what they want you to think. I'm not sure who they are, but I hear that they do a lot of those sorts of things.
#12
Quote from: Mourning Star on October 06, 2009, 07:22:09 AM
I remember this one time when a clown...wait, this isn't group therapy? HOW DID YOU PEOPLE GET IN MY TV?


We secretly replaced your TV with Folger's Crystals. We didn't think you'd notice.
#13
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: woops
October 05, 2009, 11:18:02 PM
Quote from: Nigel on October 05, 2009, 10:55:29 PM
Quote from: Caliginos Gnosticos on October 05, 2009, 03:59:00 PM
That's ok. I'll just hijack this thread so it doesn't go to waste.

I think you just became my favorite noob.

Thanks! Lurking for almost a year helped.  :ninja:
#14
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on October 05, 2009, 01:22:55 PM
Make puns, not war. 

I'd rather make war on puns. It's the best of both worlds.
#15
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on September 28, 2009, 09:52:10 PM
Quote from: Cainad on June 29, 2009, 07:33:26 PM
I remember when I posted something in here long ago and everyone was like "What the hell this place has been dead for ages wtf r u doin posting in here?"

I remember when I posted something in here long ago and everyone (well, 2 people) were like "Get off my ideological toes WTF is wrong with you eat the menu much the map is not the territory jargon jargon chest-beating jargon jargon don't make me think urp hork puke".

I remember when I thought about posting something in here but didn't. It makes for a much less interesting story than either of yours.