Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Two vast and trunkless legs of stone => Topic started by: Cramulus on March 22, 2017, 02:27:29 PM

Title: Medieval Americans at War
Post by: Cramulus on March 22, 2017, 02:27:29 PM
If there was an American army during the middle ages, how would they be equipped?


Title: Re: Medieval Americans at War
Post by: Cramulus on March 22, 2017, 02:28:03 PM
I'm thinking they would dual wield - bastard sword in one hand, attack falcon in the other
Title: Re: Medieval Americans at War
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on March 22, 2017, 02:35:02 PM
They would drive tanks and fly helicopters because historical accuracy is for nerds, dweeb.
Title: Re: Medieval Americans at War
Post by: LMNO on March 22, 2017, 02:39:30 PM
Technically, weren't the "Americans during medieval times" the indigenous tribes already living there?
Title: Re: Medieval Americans at War
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 22, 2017, 04:14:18 PM
Quote from: LMNO on March 22, 2017, 02:39:30 PM
Technically, weren't the "Americans during medieval times" the indigenous tribes already living there?

Yes.
Title: Re: Medieval Americans at War
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on March 22, 2017, 05:07:47 PM
(https://blog.brainarchy.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/crimescene2.png)
Title: Re: Medieval Americans at War
Post by: Faust on March 22, 2017, 05:11:55 PM
Smallpox blankets, cast like a gladiatorial Rete Net
Title: Re: Medieval Americans at War
Post by: Junkenstein on March 22, 2017, 05:14:45 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on March 22, 2017, 02:28:03 PM
I'm thinking they would dual wield - bastard sword in one hand, attack falcon in the other

Dual wielding, yes but not that. More likely flails or anything similar that has as much chance as damaging you as the enemy.

Obviously, no armour.
Title: Re: Medieval Americans at War
Post by: Cramulus on March 22, 2017, 05:24:29 PM
I saw a documentary in which an American saved the country from the hated British by stabbing somebody right through the chest with the point end of an American flag

So I imagine we'd probably have something like a polearm hedge, but it's all American flags

Also, our heraldry would include 50 bald eagles, rampant.
Title: Re: Medieval Americans at War
Post by: Cramulus on March 22, 2017, 05:28:30 PM
we would load our trebuches with crates of highly taxed tea
Title: Re: Medieval Americans at War
Post by: Eater of Clowns on March 22, 2017, 06:16:18 PM
Catapults filled with ignited balls of that useless thick black goop that one Texan weirdo keeps pulling out of the ground.
Title: Re: Medieval Americans at War
Post by: Cain on March 22, 2017, 06:18:21 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on March 22, 2017, 06:16:18 PM
Catapults filled with ignited balls of that useless thick black goop that one Texan weirdo keeps pulling out of the ground.

I think you mean trebuchets.

(https://i.redd.it/oswjgpc09umy.png)
Title: Re: Medieval Americans at War
Post by: Eater of Clowns on March 22, 2017, 06:29:49 PM
Lol no I meant oil trebuchets aren't thick black goop dude
Title: Re: Medieval Americans at War
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on March 22, 2017, 06:56:39 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on March 22, 2017, 05:14:45 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on March 22, 2017, 02:28:03 PM
I'm thinking they would dual wield - bastard sword in one hand, attack falcon in the other

Dual wielding, yes but not that. More likely flails or anything similar that has as much chance as damaging you as the enemy.

Obviously, no armour.

WTF? Have you seen how they play rugby? Be fucking covered in the shit.
Title: Re: Medieval Americans at War
Post by: Junkenstein on March 22, 2017, 07:32:58 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on March 22, 2017, 06:56:39 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on March 22, 2017, 05:14:45 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on March 22, 2017, 02:28:03 PM
I'm thinking they would dual wield - bastard sword in one hand, attack falcon in the other

Dual wielding, yes but not that. More likely flails or anything similar that has as much chance as damaging you as the enemy.

Obviously, no armour.

WTF? Have you seen how they play rugby? Be fucking covered in the shit.

Point conceded.