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(For those of you playing along in one of those weird countries... 79 degrees Fahrenheit.)

Bless this country.

[even if the employees have not engaged in flirtatious behavior or otherwise done anything wrong]

http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/12/21/bosses-can-legally-fire-employees-they-see-as-an-irresistible-attraction-iowa-court/

A dentist acted legally when he fired an assistant that he found attractive simply because he and his wife viewed the woman as a threat to their marriage, the all-male Iowa Supreme Court ruled Friday.

The court ruled 7-0 that bosses can fire employees they see as an "irresistible attraction," even if the employees have not engaged in flirtatious behavior or otherwise done anything wrong. Such firings may be unfair, but they are not unlawful discrimination under the Iowa Civil Rights Act because they are motivated by feelings and emotions, not gender, Justice Edward Mansfield wrote.

An attorney for Fort Dodge dentist James Knight said the decision, the first of its kind in Iowa, is a victory for family values because Knight fired Melissa Nelson in the interest of saving his marriage, not because she was a woman.

The rest of the article is even better. 

Pæs and I are at our office Christmas party.

The theme is Mexican.

At least one person is dressed as a drug dealer named Sanchez, and cheap sombreros abound.

This time we had the good fucking sense to hire a car... but still.

It's 5.50pm on the Friday of a holiday weekend, so traffic is crazy, but I swear to shit the woman in the car in front has been texting non-stop for twenty minutes. YOU'RE ON A FUCKING MOTORWAY, WATCH THE FUCKING ROAD, NOT YOUR PHONE. CHRIST.

It's a good thing it's Pæs' turn in the driver's seat -- I would have rearended her out of sheer frustration by now.

... and if one of you spags who's a bit closer could just go falcon punch Mitt Romney for me, that would be awesome.

Alternatively, beat him over the head with a binder full of women.

...kill me now, PD.

It's almost midnight and no, they will not be switching off the huge fuckoff fluorescent lights. They sold one more ticket than there are seats so someone has their 9-year-old in their lap. Let me reiterate: for eleven hours. My knees are completely fucked and our next stop is about two and a half hours away.

Why didn't we just spend half our paycheck on absurdly expensive flights? We would have been there in 45 minutes.

I am so full of hate right now.

It's hard to come back here, even for a short time.

In some ways, life goes on as normal. The air is cold and crisp in a way unique to the south; the kind of biting chill that brings with it a day worthy of early spring. It's not like the cold in the north island, the kind that consumes you.

I watch kids walk past me on their way to school, commuters drive past. Of course, they are bound by road cones and cracks in the road, swerving to avoid them.

They all seem to know where the damage is, anyway.

These are the ones who chose to stay, to ride it out. I chose to leave, and the guilt consumes me.

I hate coming within a hundred feet of the city. In the suburbs -- some suburbs -- it might never have happened, but here... here, entire blocks are cordoned off from public use. Buildings that once had beautiful turrets now have those turrets resting before them on the footpath, as if in supplication.

It's hard for me to come within a hundred feet of city. Where we sit now, we're less than five.

The taste of dust in my lungs is just my brain playing tricks on me, superimposing my memories onto the here and now. I can't really hear the screams, the crying, the monotonous shock. It's my fiancée's hand in mine; it's not a stranger waiting to die.

They know, and they understand. It's a disaster of enormous magnitude; emergency services are stretched to breaking point. They've had to make some heartbreaking decisions. Who they have a chance to save. Who isn't viable.

Those in the latter group, they understand. They understand, but they're scared.

So I sit with them.

Most are crying. Some are beyond that. One asks me to pass on a message, but his message lasts longer than his body can cope.

I won't walk home today covered in someone else's blood.

But five feet from the city, it's hard to remember that.

[Rather than returning it and advising staff of their error, Ilolahia devoured the burgers, while a violent rage brewed inside him.]

This is possibly the best thing I have ever read. The part I've bolded caused me to spittake coca-cola all over my work computer. No regrets.

A trip to a fast-food outlet that resulted in burger rage has earned an Auckland man a year's supervision and community work.

When David Junior Ilolahia, 35, ordered three burgers from New Lynn restaurant Wendy's - including a "Baconator" burger without bacon - two thirds of his order was incorrect.

Rather than returning it and advising staff of their error, Ilolahia devoured the burgers, while a violent rage brewed inside him.

At the counter he launched a whopper of a tirade against staff, while store managers tried to pacify him, but his anger - at receiving a chicken burger instead of a fish burger - could not be tamed.

Scared for their safety, Wendy's staff locked themselves inside an office and called police.

They too could not get through to the meat-fuelled man.

Eventually pepper spray was used against Ilolahia but had little effect.

Two police constables joined the sergeant who was first on site as the struggle continued outside.

A taser was also used on Ilolahia before he was finally restrained and taken into custody.

The incident on February 13 left one of the police officers with numerous lacerations to his upper body and right leg and resulted in Ilolahia facing five charges including intentional damage for ripping the sergeant's shirt.

At the Auckland District Court today Judge David Wilson agreed with defence counsel Eb Leary's analysis of the events as "bizarre" and said Ilolahia would benefit from alcohol counselling and attending a programme to address his "short fuse".

Leary described his client as a "workaholic" and said the fact he had been off work as a driver for a month because of an injury had caused him severe stress.

His father's recent death had also had a profound effect on him and he was now living with his widowed mother as the sole bread winner, Leary said.

Judge Wilson said the violent outburst was all the more peculiar because Ilolahia attended the Latter Day Saints church in Blockhouse Bay and previously seemed like someone of good character.

He was sentenced to a year's supervision, 60 hours community work and ordered to pay $50 for the damaged police shirt.

Leary said his client had apologised to Wendy's.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/7618502/Auckland-man-convicted-after-burger-rage

This is, sadly, actually quite impressive journalism for New Zealand.