Paula Deen is some sort of nightmarish abomination wearing a human mask.
Exhibit A:
(http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/1/15259/03_2009/605a6401b435151b_Paula_deen_quiz.xlarger.jpg)
Exhibit B:
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_JVVaXmiE24g/RzlAS_boWKI/AAAAAAAAHMw/C6Zaafw872s/s400/PaulaDeen_Kambo_6172105_400.jpg)
Her face is unwavering
But I love Paula Dean! :?
I really don't know why, but I almost fell of my chair laughing, when I saw her face.
I've never heard of this woman, but
(http://www.blogcdn.com/www.tmz.com/media/2009/04/0408_deen_tmz_video.jpg)
(http://www.ediblecommunities.com/ediblenation/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/planet-paula.jpg)
(http://foodnetworkhumor.com/wp-content/uploads//paula-deen-money.jpg)
oh god it looks like it's ready to strike!
(http://blog.foodnetwork.com/fn-dish/files/2009/05/paula2.jpg)
And just think, that's what she looked like before she got a ham to the face.
But she makes deliciousness.
I love this woman. :D
Better than that bitch Sara Lee.
I bet some hide of a cow became possessed, removed itself and re-attached to this poor woman's head!
Food first, then WORLD DOMINATION!!!
Quote from: Slanket the Destroyer on December 14, 2009, 07:55:34 PM
Paula Deen is some sort of nightmarish abomination wearing a human mask.
Exhibit A:
(http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/1/15259/03_2009/605a6401b435151b_Paula_deen_quiz.xlarger.jpg)
Oh my fucking god, those eyes :eek: They look like they've been painted onto the back of her skull using my worst nightmares as ink :x
HATE HATE HATE HATE!
That woman puts more butter than absolutely needed in anything ever into one dish and then puts the whole fucking thing to her dome piece. UGH.
Look at her! She's like Miss Piggy on fucking ACID!
(http://oxleylearning.org/germandictionary/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/butter.jpg)
Quote from: Suu on December 15, 2009, 12:29:01 AM
HATE HATE HATE HATE!
That woman puts more butter than absolutely needed in anything ever into one dish and then puts the whole fucking thing to her dome piece. UGH.
Look at her! She's like Miss Piggy on fucking ACID!
Yeah, her use of butter literally makes my arteries hurt thinking about it. I mean, yeah, some is all right. The other thing I hate about her is how she kills most things with Salt, too. OF COURSE IT TASTES GOOD. BUTTER + SALT = HEY THIS TASTES LIKE BUTTERY SALTYNESS. IT MUST BE EDIBLE.
Guh. Though the brunt of my ire is saved for Bobby Flay and what's-her-name. 30 minute meals bitch.
Quote from: Chief Uwachiquen on December 15, 2009, 04:25:33 AM
Quote from: Suu on December 15, 2009, 12:29:01 AM
HATE HATE HATE HATE!
That woman puts more butter than absolutely needed in anything ever into one dish and then puts the whole fucking thing to her dome piece. UGH.
Look at her! She's like Miss Piggy on fucking ACID!
Yeah, her use of butter literally makes my arteries hurt thinking about it. I mean, yeah, some is all right. The other thing I hate about her is how she kills most things with Salt, too. OF COURSE IT TASTES GOOD. BUTTER + SALT = HEY THIS TASTES LIKE BUTTERY SALTYNESS. IT MUST BE EDIBLE.
Guh. Though the brunt of my ire is saved for Bobby Flay and what's-her-name. 30 minute meals bitch.
Rachel Ray. What's wrong with Bobby Flay?
I absolutley LOATHE Ina Garten. Her ideas on what is reasonable to use in anything is so ridiculous, it all has to be so expensive cuz that means it better ofr some reason. >:/ Stupid rich people and their not-poor ways....
Bobby Flay is a douchebag. My brother wants to throwdown like it's nobody's biznus.
southern food-- butter, salt and pepper.
basically.
Ina and her $5600 meals can suck it
Bobby is... ugh... he's ok under pressure
Sandra Lee I'd like to see in a gangbang video covered in sweat, jizz, shame and feces
Quote from: Squid on December 15, 2009, 07:00:48 AM
Sandra Lee I'd like to see in a gangbang video covered in sweat, jizz, shame and feces
:lulz:
Squid, you truly are the finest example of human compassion I have seen to date.
:lulz:
TGRR,
Is gonna totally steal that line. Count on it.
Quote from: Squid on December 15, 2009, 07:00:48 AM
Sandra Lee I'd like to see in a gangbang video covered in sweat, jizz, shame and feces
I wouldn't shed a single tear for that insufferable lush. Not only is her food horrible, in also manages to be culturally insensitive. WTF Kwanzaa cake?
Hello everyone. I'm gonna make some awful shit for my poor nephew Brycer today using garbage from my pantry. Then I can't wait for cocktail time to get my friends allllllllllllll liquored up so they won't notice that my tits sag down to my waist. Oh... what are these six nude men doing in the kitchen? Oh well, hey hand me those pre-sliced mushrooms hunky.
\
(http://www.therandommuse.com/photos/uncategorized/sandra_lee3_1.jpg)
One of those men looks like he's thinking of doing something with that turkey baster.
What could it be?
SQUIRT!
OH GAWD THERE'S MIRACLE WHIP IN PLACES IT SHOULDN'T BE :x
You know what this woman reminds me of? Those sharks with human teeth that Cram posted.
As always I will defer to St. Anthony Bourdian, The One True TV Chef on this matter:
QuoteSandra Lee - "Pure evil. This frightening Hell Spawn of Kathie Lee and Betty Crocker seems on a mission to kill her fans, one meal at a time. She Must Be Stopped. Her death-dealing can-opening ways will cut a swath of destruction through the world if not contained. I would likely be arrested if I suggested on television that any children watching should promptly go to a wooded area with a gun and harm themselves. What's the difference between that and Sandra suggesting we fill our mouths with Ritz Crackers, jam a can of Cheez Wiz in after and press hard? None that I can see. This is simply irresponsible programming. Its only possible use might be as a psychological warfare strategy against the resurgent Taliban--or dangerous insurgent groups. A large-racked blonde repeatedly urging Afghans and angry Iraqis to stuff themselves with fatty, processed American foods might be just the weapon we need to win the war on terror."
I was going to WOMP this abominable woman. But she broke my WRATH. True story!
In defense of Paula Deen, I recently received Julia 1 and 2* for my birthday, and oh holy fuck the amount of butters, fats, and creams that woman used was un-fucking-believable.
Also, I believe adding shit-tons of butter and oil to your food is and old standby in the restaraunt biz. ECH may be able to confirm this.
*The Art of French Cooking, volumes 1 and 2
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on December 15, 2009, 08:12:30 AM
As always I will defer to St. Anthony Bourdian, The One True TV Chef on this matter:
QuoteSandra Lee - "Pure evil. This frightening Hell Spawn of Kathie Lee and Betty Crocker seems on a mission to kill her fans, one meal at a time. She Must Be Stopped. Her death-dealing can-opening ways will cut a swath of destruction through the world if not contained. I would likely be arrested if I suggested on television that any children watching should promptly go to a wooded area with a gun and harm themselves. What's the difference between that and Sandra suggesting we fill our mouths with Ritz Crackers, jam a can of Cheez Wiz in after and press hard? None that I can see. This is simply irresponsible programming. Its only possible use might be as a psychological warfare strategy against the resurgent Taliban--or dangerous insurgent groups. A large-racked blonde repeatedly urging Afghans and angry Iraqis to stuff themselves with fatty, processed American foods might be just the weapon we need to win the war on terror."
THIS.
WIN.
SANDRA LEE OVER.
(http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl2/1/17470/17_2009/7f07a6be3e99e2ad_PaulaDeen_John_56832601_600.preview.jpg)
Stop fucking doing that! :argh!:
(http://media.onsugar.com/files/ed2/192/1922195/45_2009/8d16b504e9b20b29_paula-deen.jpg)
Needs ZALGO.
Bad enough without it.
Couldn't be any worse.
*backs out of thread slowly, with urine stains spreading down the front of his shirt...
down the front of your shirt?
what - were you drinking urine and spit it all over the place?
we need an emote for
:URINEMONITOR:
(http://earbuds.popdose.com/rob/pauladeen.jpg)
(http://sharing.myfoxboston.com/sharewono//photo/2009/11/24/pauladeen_20091124123530_640_480.JPG)
Quote from: Cramulus on December 15, 2009, 08:05:17 PM
I'M GOING TO EAT YOUR PENIS.
\
(http://sharing.myfoxboston.com/sharewono//photo/2009/11/24/pauladeen_20091124123530_640_480.JPG)
:lulz:
Quote from: Cramulus on December 15, 2009, 08:05:17 PM
(http://earbuds.popdose.com/rob/pauladeen.jpg)
Doesn't this seem really unsanitary?
We call those hepatitis fountains
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on December 15, 2009, 04:30:17 AM
Quote from: Chief Uwachiquen on December 15, 2009, 04:25:33 AM
Quote from: Suu on December 15, 2009, 12:29:01 AM
HATE HATE HATE HATE!
That woman puts more butter than absolutely needed in anything ever into one dish and then puts the whole fucking thing to her dome piece. UGH.
Look at her! She's like Miss Piggy on fucking ACID!
Yeah, her use of butter literally makes my arteries hurt thinking about it. I mean, yeah, some is all right. The other thing I hate about her is how she kills most things with Salt, too. OF COURSE IT TASTES GOOD. BUTTER + SALT = HEY THIS TASTES LIKE BUTTERY SALTYNESS. IT MUST BE EDIBLE.
Guh. Though the brunt of my ire is saved for Bobby Flay and what's-her-name. 30 minute meals bitch.
Rachel Ray. What's wrong with Bobby Flay?
I absolutley LOATHE Ina Garten. Her ideas on what is reasonable to use in anything is so ridiculous, it all has to be so expensive cuz that means it better ofr some reason. >:/ Stupid rich people and their not-poor ways....
Bobby flay is a pretentious douchebag who actually has the gall to show up to places that specialize in foods everyone knows and loves and is like. Hey. You know what. I can, and will, do it better. Your customers will like mine better, guarantee. And then I point and laugh when he tries to get fancy-pants with a philly cheesesteak and turn it into something that only vaguely harkens back to being a philly cheesesteak in his thoughts. That and his attitude makes me want to strangle him. And his hair's dumb.
And I never really noticed it until now just how creepy Paula Dean really is. I think I need an adult. :cry:
Quote from: Squid on December 15, 2009, 08:32:40 PM
We call those hepatitis fountains
:lulz: You made me chuckle.
Quote from: Cramulus on December 15, 2009, 08:05:17 PM
down the front of your shirt?
what - were you drinking urine and spit it all over the place?
we need an emote for
:URINEMONITOR:
It's part of my patented "urine emanating from irregular orifices" - schtick
eg. - "I just peed up in my mouth a little" or "I laughed so hard I actually wept piss"
It would be simply awful if someone took this Paula Deen schtick and applied to to light-hearted trolling.
Or some heavy-handed-nightmare-inducing trolling...
(http://www.nycwineandfoodfestival.com/2009/show_image.php?filename=/2009/pics/personalities/header/1243733284_pauladeen.jpg)
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on December 15, 2009, 09:52:12 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on December 15, 2009, 08:05:17 PM
down the front of your shirt?
what - were you drinking urine and spit it all over the place?
we need an emote for
:URINEMONITOR:
It's part of my patented "urine emanating from irregular orifices" - schtick
eg. - "I just peed up in my mouth a little" or "I laughed so hard I actually wept piss"
gah yeah, got it
sorry for making you explain it
I was distracted by vomit pissing out my ass
:lulz:
Quote from: Cramulus on December 15, 2009, 10:54:33 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on December 15, 2009, 09:52:12 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on December 15, 2009, 08:05:17 PM
down the front of your shirt?
what - were you drinking urine and spit it all over the place?
we need an emote for
:URINEMONITOR:
It's part of my patented "urine emanating from irregular orifices" - schtick
eg. - "I just peed up in my mouth a little" or "I laughed so hard I actually wept piss"
gah yeah, got it
sorry for making you explain it
I was distracted by vomit pissing out my ass
Quote from: Squid on December 15, 2009, 11:12:46 PM
:lulz:
Don't laugh, Extra-Urethral Urine Dispersal Syndrome is very serious.
FUCK YOU MY RELATIVE DIED FROM Extra-Urethral Urine Dispersal Syndrome
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZsWUkclWO1E/SOz3dl09HQI/AAAAAAAAAU4/_Ns0h1XUpZk/s200/paula_deen.jpg)
Her food still makes my mouth water. Wonderfully delicious deliciousness. She MUST be evil incarnate.
(http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/img/v3/04-26-2009.NGL_26Deen1.GKQ2K2A83.1.jpg)
(http://images.chron.com/blogs/celebritybuzz/ODD_People_Paula_Deen_NY111.jpg)
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_nHkHmJl7K88/SwvzwJ7vXsI/AAAAAAAAFfQ/w3lD3ZpiOrw/s1600/deen.jpg)
(http://foodnetworkhumor.com/wp-content/uploads//paula-deen-butter-tattoo-2.jpg)
Quote from: Squid on December 17, 2009, 03:30:11 AM
(http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/img/v3/04-26-2009.NGL_26Deen1.GKQ2K2A83.1.jpg)
IT CAME FROM SILENT HILL
her without makeup?
(http://i.imgur.com/2dAin.jpg)
Someone needs to WOMP Paula Deen and Pyramid Head.
Or WOMP her and Ina Garten into 2 girls 1 cup.
(http://foodnetworkhumor.com/wp-content/uploads//paula-deen-pearl-necklace.jpg)
JESUS CHRIST!
Slanket recoils in horror, falling backwards out of his chair, stumbling to his feet and then out the door screaming at the top of his lungs as he runs down the street.
:lulz:
Oh dear fucking god.
I win. Thread over.
:pax:
(http://lovelace-media.imgix.net/uploads/14/ea956b70-abe1-0132-9a15-0e01949ad350.png?w=780&fit=max&q=70)
(http://s3-static-ak.buzzfed.com/static/campaign_images/terminal05/2012/3/6/15/paula-deens-horribly-racist-quote-from-the-lawsui-1-523-1331064398-8_big.jpg)
(http://www.ericspitznagel.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/paula-deen-460-e1310396974838.jpg)
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljo7ugx11m1qzgz3mo1_500.gif)
(http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/563/821/0d9.jpg)
(https://collegecantina.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/tumblr_lhlpx8wtnt1qhajmxo1_1280.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/tCc4Mkr.jpg)
Quote from: Cain on March 28, 2015, 01:38:10 PM
(https://collegecantina.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/tumblr_lhlpx8wtnt1qhajmxo1_1280.jpg)
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Quote
(http://i.imgur.com/tCc4Mkr.jpg)
lolwut
Paula Deen is coming for you.
:eek: I'm terrified now.