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ITT: Original Story Ideas

Started by Cramulus, May 11, 2009, 09:40:54 PM

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Prelate Diogenes Shandor

A Romeo & Juliet knockoff with a family of rednecks and a family of insular orthodox Jews.
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.


a plague on both your houses -Mercutio


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8


It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft


He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q


You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata


Don't use the email address in my profile, I lost the password years ago

minuspace

Apocalypse occasioned by AI produced thought virus.  Using human's critical capacity for judgement as vector, virus instantiates deep feelings of rejection for anything it thinks is inauthentic.  This response is first trained and reinforced by having us watch things like reality TV.  Once the thought-pattern is suitably established, rejection of external world dissolves into an inverted fit of solipsistic insanity.  Humans begin to watch the content of their minds from "outside", as though it were a live action reality show starring someone other than themselves, who's inauthenticity they deeply resent.  Game over.

Prelate Diogenes Shandor

Comedy Skit: Guy goes to buy some gadget at the Apple Store but is hampered by the fact that all of the "Geniuses" are profoundly mentally retarded
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.


a plague on both your houses -Mercutio


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8


It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft


He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q


You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata


Don't use the email address in my profile, I lost the password years ago

minuspace

Quote from: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on May 27, 2016, 06:38:46 PM
Comedy Skit: Guy goes to buy some gadget at the Apple Store but is hampered by the fact that all of the "Geniuses" are profoundly mentally retarded
:lulz: I've been told personally experienced how (they form a circle, facing each other, and speak in tounges (Star Trek?)) its actually a hive mind that they share in common. :lulz:

Prelate Diogenes Shandor

A couple more comedy skit ideas:

*A parody of Don Quixote where an oil industry lobbyist attacks a bunch of basketball players thinking that they are windmills

*Some soldiers or secret agents misinterpret an order to terminate someone "with extreme prejudice" as meaning to carry out the assassination while dressed as members of the KKK or the SS

(did I suggest either of these before?)
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.


a plague on both your houses -Mercutio


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8


It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft


He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q


You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata


Don't use the email address in my profile, I lost the password years ago

Rococo Modem Basilisk

Quote from: LuciferX on May 27, 2016, 11:33:12 PM
Quote from: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on May 27, 2016, 06:38:46 PM
Comedy Skit: Guy goes to buy some gadget at the Apple Store but is hampered by the fact that all of the "Geniuses" are profoundly mentally retarded
:lulz: I've been told personally experienced how (they form a circle, facing each other, and speak in tounges (Star Trek?)) its actually a hive mind that they share in common. :lulz:
Guy applies for a job at the Apple Store only to be hampered by the fact that the training materials make it look like a suicide cult (including a VHS tape of Steve Jobs doing the Heaven's Gate "humanity will be recycled"/"come with us" thing). When he quits, the entire (matching-Nike-wearing) current set of employees commit suicide in order to "take their souls with him". Twist: it works, and for the rest of his life, he is followed around by the ghosts of thirty Apple suicide cultists who *won't shut up*.


I am not "full of hate" as if I were some passive container. I am a generator of hate, and my rage is a renewable resource, like sunshine.

Prelate Diogenes Shandor

#771
Ok, another film about a shopping mall security guard, but with a twist. In this one instead of the real police not respecting the protagonist (as was the case in Paul Blart), they instead respect him too much and he beomes some kind of bizarre Batman-esque figure complete with a "Shopping mall security signal" the the police commissioner shines in the sky

Quote from: Roko's Modern Basilisk on June 03, 2016, 11:53:58 AM
Quote from: LuciferX on May 27, 2016, 11:33:12 PM
Quote from: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on May 27, 2016, 06:38:46 PM
Comedy Skit: Guy goes to buy some gadget at the Apple Store but is hampered by the fact that all of the "Geniuses" are profoundly mentally retarded
:lulz: I've been told personally experienced how (they form a circle, facing each other, and speak in tounges (Star Trek?)) its actually a hive mind that they share in common. :lulz:
Guy applies for a job at the Apple Store only to be hampered by the fact that the training materials make it look like a suicide cult (including a VHS tape of Steve Jobs doing the Heaven's Gate "humanity will be recycled"/"come with us" thing). When he quits, the entire (matching-Nike-wearing) current set of employees commit suicide in order to "take their souls with him". Twist: it works, and for the rest of his life, he is followed around by the ghosts of thirty Apple suicide cultists who *won't shut up*.

I'm glad that I'm not the only one who gets a modern cult vibe from the Apple Store (though I always thought of them as more like Scientology)
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.


a plague on both your houses -Mercutio


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8


It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft


He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q


You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata


Don't use the email address in my profile, I lost the password years ago

Rococo Modem Basilisk

A tinkerer discovers a method for creating small black holes using a process no more expensive or complex than (say) meth production. This makes two technologies trivial to produce: super destructive weapons  ("lack bombs") and near-lightspeed transportation (the "lack drive"). Quickly, most governments & social structures are demolished by lack bombs and their aftermath. However, a group of people decide, independently, to use lack-drive transportation to prevent lack-bomb damage. Since faster than light communication doesn't exist, most attempts are only qualified successes. This group, fiercely independent and at odds, working at a shared goal while desyncing in time with the wider world and each other due to spending most of theit time at nearly light speed, slowly have their origins forgotten.


I am not "full of hate" as if I were some passive container. I am a generator of hate, and my rage is a renewable resource, like sunshine.

Rococo Modem Basilisk

A mystic develops his ability to remember past lives, and realizes that at the moment of each death he has a vision of the *next* death. He uses this ability to solve mysteries in each life.


I am not "full of hate" as if I were some passive container. I am a generator of hate, and my rage is a renewable resource, like sunshine.

Prelate Diogenes Shandor

An attempt to perform the Schrodinger's Cat thought experiment in real life results in a zombie apocalypse
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.


a plague on both your houses -Mercutio


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8


It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft


He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q


You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata


Don't use the email address in my profile, I lost the password years ago

minuspace

Advances in quantum spectrography reveal an entire animistic universe that lives at sub-atomic level.  Turns out that this world is actually a form of purgatory, at the end of which we can either go 'up or down'.  The difference is not so much as to whether we are relegated 'above or below', instead, it is a measure of scale.  Hell, in this case, was discovered during quantum imaging of NaSA's new synthetic quantum-motor oil, that showed the blackened souls of humans straining and wearing against each other to keep the engine's sub-atomic friction down.

Freeky

Quote from: Roko's Modern Basilisk on June 03, 2016, 11:53:58 AM
Quote from: LuciferX on May 27, 2016, 11:33:12 PM
Quote from: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on May 27, 2016, 06:38:46 PM
Comedy Skit: Guy goes to buy some gadget at the Apple Store but is hampered by the fact that all of the "Geniuses" are profoundly mentally retarded
:lulz: I've been told personally experienced how (they form a circle, facing each other, and speak in tounges (Star Trek?)) its actually a hive mind that they share in common. :lulz:
Guy applies for a job at the Apple Store only to be hampered by the fact that the training materials make it look like a suicide cult (including a VHS tape of Steve Jobs doing the Heaven's Gate "humanity will be recycled"/"come with us" thing). When he quits, the entire (matching-Nike-wearing) current set of employees commit suicide in order to "take their souls with him". Twist: it works, and for the rest of his life, he is followed around by the ghosts of thirty Apple suicide cultists who *won't shut up*.

Holy shit, dude.   :lulz:  This is amazing.

Rococo Modem Basilisk

Quote from: Freeky on June 19, 2016, 12:39:22 AM
Quote from: Roko's Modern Basilisk on June 03, 2016, 11:53:58 AM
Quote from: LuciferX on May 27, 2016, 11:33:12 PM
Quote from: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on May 27, 2016, 06:38:46 PM
Comedy Skit: Guy goes to buy some gadget at the Apple Store but is hampered by the fact that all of the "Geniuses" are profoundly mentally retarded
:lulz: I've been told personally experienced how (they form a circle, facing each other, and speak in tounges (Star Trek?)) its actually a hive mind that they share in common. :lulz:
Guy applies for a job at the Apple Store only to be hampered by the fact that the training materials make it look like a suicide cult (including a VHS tape of Steve Jobs doing the Heaven's Gate "humanity will be recycled"/"come with us" thing). When he quits, the entire (matching-Nike-wearing) current set of employees commit suicide in order to "take their souls with him". Twist: it works, and for the rest of his life, he is followed around by the ghosts of thirty Apple suicide cultists who *won't shut up*.

Holy shit, dude.   :lulz:  This is Barely Noticeable.
I have discovered that if there is a theme to my pitches in here, it is "annoying ghosts"


I am not "full of hate" as if I were some passive container. I am a generator of hate, and my rage is a renewable resource, like sunshine.

Freeky

I still think they're great ideas.  I can't think of any mainstream fiction that has covered that angle.

Prelate Diogenes Shandor

A bawdy martial arts comedy about a murderer who kills with the "Inappropriate Touch of Death" which involves hitting pressure points in the groin and buttocks.
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.


a plague on both your houses -Mercutio


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8


It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft


He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q


You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata


Don't use the email address in my profile, I lost the password years ago