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I really hope TV and radio ads using internet memes stay shitty, as if someone ends up making a really good ad, EVERYBODY else is going to consider making one too. Some of which will get aired.

Which will force me to make long road trips  with firearms.

[Background]

Background: I am a college student, but not a good one. I have to use gubmint monies to pay for half tuition (as both parents decided to not keep with their decent, moneymaking careers right before I start higher education) The combo: not having good/average grades = not getting any money at all

The meat: My GPA dipped down to 1.54, and I had to end up retaking 2 failed classes, while paying for all of it (came to about 2 grand). Passed those 2 classes, turned in all of the "Historical Repeat" paperwork (because simply having a second, higher grade wouldn't automatically remove the first one in the computers, oh heavens no.) Ended up with a 1.95.

Was FUCKING furious at myself, started yet another hazy spiral of low self-esteem and anger/depression. My advisor pretty much told me that i'd just have to keep paying for tuition myself until the loan kicks back in. More not pleasant emotions and thoughts. On the way out of his office, the EnviroStudies department secretary [(a past middle-aged spunky black woman) who was listening in on the whole conversation b/w me and the advisor)] remarks that there was an Organic chemistry repeat I had take that would change an F into a D, but not submitted the paperwork for, and that i should put that in and see how things go.

I had indeed submitted the papers 3 semesters ago but the ass-flapping, carpet-BRAINED TAINTCRANIUMS at University Records and Registration HADN'T APPLIED THE DAMN REPEAT CORRECTIONS.

Despite the anger and confusion seething inside of me while waiting in the line at University R&R, I was calm and courteous while submitting the paperwork again. Now I just had to wait. For 2 weeks. For the semester to start and have the add/drop date be precariously close to the estimated 'processing period.' Many spirits were imbibed on my part during this period.

The last day of the add drop period, i get an email in class. 'Notice of disbursement of federal aid' or some shit. The sleepy oceanography lecture is jarred by a loudly whispered "Fuck Yes!" from me. It draws the expected odd looks, then they fall asleep again. I check the online grade-keeping thingy the university has, and my GPA there sat exactly at a 2.00. I have now ascended the status of a C-student.

After class I celebrate the turn of fortunes with a crappy cigar in a parking lot. While puffing away and laughing to myself (drawing more odd looks) it starts to rain. I contemplate wrapping it up and hitting the ol' dusty trail, but stop and think, 'No amount of anything is going to fuck with me today.' I look up to the heavens and with a decidedly commanding voice say, "Fuck off, Nature." I didn't stop raining but I didn't care.

Fin.