Cainad's Spiritual Journey with Caffeine Excess

[Cainad (dec.)]

Last night, my friend decided that my dozing off on the common area couch was not acceptable, seeing as the night was still very young. She retreated into her room and returned with a small chocolate-coated candy that contained the same amount of caffeine as two normal cups of coffee. Now, normally I'm not dumb enough to let my self-destructive impulses direct me to consume caffeine in the evening when I have class the next morning, but something about this friend brings out the worst in me.

Within fifteen minutes, I had bolted out of the building and climbed into a tree, jittering in quiet reflection of what an incredibly bad idea it was to eat that stupid candy. When they finally found me, she directed me to eat not one, not two, but THREE more of these infernal caffeine bombs. I don't recall a time when I have ever consumed more than four cups of coffee in a day, and now I've just had twice that much in the span of half an hour.

I spend the next hour or so jumping about the common area, providing entertainment as the drugged chimpanzee for my awful friends. After climbing on the pipes that line the ceiling ceased to be sufficient distraction, I attempted to hide in my armoire, insisting that there were leprechauns out there who wanted to eat my spleen. Of course I didn't really think that, so much as I was trying to convince them that I was in no fit state to interact with my fellow humans and should be allowed to twitch in peace. I was dragged out against my will and told to go bother a friend of mine across the hall who was trying to do a project for his biology class. I attempted to resist, but repeated insistence overcame what paltry defense I had against bad ideas. Also, it seemed like a funny thing to do at the time.

Now, my friend across the hall very quickly picked up on the fact that I was in a bad way, and placated me for a full five mintues by playing "The Sinister Minister" on YouTube on his computer while he spoke with my caffeine-pushing friend about what the fuck she had done to me. Once these five mintutes had passed, something snapped. I removed my shirt, took off my shoes and put them on my hands. I then burst out of the room into the common area, my bare torso and arms covered in bright red welts from the previous day's paintball antics, screaming "WHERE IS YOUR RELIGION NOW?! I AM YOUR GOD, AND THE WORLD IS MY CHURCH!" I graced their sinful, filthy beings with the cleansing touch of my divinely imbued hand-shoes before curling up in the fetal position on the floor, contented with my work.

When I finally was able to rise and walk about again, the friend I had come to disturb from his work said to the caffiene pusher, "Now is an appropriate time." The caffeine pusher nodded, looked me in the face, and she told me there was no caffeine in those candies.

I have never been so happy in my entire life.

[LMNO]

 


It's SCIENCE, bitches.

[Cainad (dec.)]

DO NEVAR fuck with the placebo effect. It opens your brain to Roger's mind control rays.

That, or I actually had that much crazy in my brain already, just waiting for an excuse to go out and play.

I kind of wanted to ask that girl to marry me right then and there when she told me. I don't know if I will ever be jaked that beautifully ever again.

[Richter]

Wow  

- You're doing it right.

- The power was within you all along.

- Punish your friend.

[Cainad (dec.)]

Wow  

- You're doing it right.

- The power was within you all along.

- Punish your friend.

That was your 7000th post, so I must accept that it is all Truth. But I kind of want to have her babies as much as I want to get Biblical revenge.

[Brotep]

Knock her up.  Two birds, one stone.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

DO NEVAR fuck with the placebo effect. It opens your brain to Roger's mind control rays.

That, or I actually had that much crazy in my brain already, just waiting for an excuse to go out and play.

I kind of wanted to ask that girl to marry me right then and there when she told me. I don't know if I will ever be jaked that beautifully ever again.

1.  I'm not responsible for that shit, Nivek is.  She does that shit all the time.

2.  Marry her.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

[Suu]

We were discussing this last night. We could put out a vat of non-alcoholic cider and tell people that it contained Everclear, and watch as people got "drunk".

[Cainad (dec.)]

We were discussing this last night. We could put out a vat of non-alcoholic cider and tell people that it contained Everclear, and watch as people got "drunk".

I've always wanted to see this happen. I wonder what would happen if you convinced people they were drunk and hopped up on caffeine at the same time.

DO NEVAR fuck with the placebo effect. It opens your brain to Roger's mind control rays.

That, or I actually had that much crazy in my brain already, just waiting for an excuse to go out and play.

I kind of wanted to ask that girl to marry me right then and there when she told me. I don't know if I will ever be jaked that beautifully ever again.

1.  I'm not responsible for that shit, Nivek is.  She does that shit all the time.

2.  Marry her.

Send Nivek my heartfelt appreciatioUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNG! 

[Triple Zero]

I kind of wonder though, placebo seems to never really work for me. Maybe I'm just believing stuff wrong.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

I kind of wonder though, placebo seems to never really work for me. Maybe I'm just believing stuff wrong.

How do you know?

[Triple Zero]

well on impulse i bought a bottle of valerian pills, for stress relief, but later on i read they are really just homeopathic and don't actually do anything much except for placebo effect. but I also recently read that the placebo effect can be really strong (as Cainad just demonstrated), so I figured I'm gonna try them anyway, cause if they work I don't care if they don't work physiologically but just psychologically.

so I'm taking two every day but they don't seem to do shit.

however fuck it, the bottle was 3 euros and I'm gonna go on until it's empty.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

well on impulse i bought a bottle of valerian pills, for stress relief, but later on i read they are really just homeopathic and don't actually do anything much except for placebo effect. but I also recently read that the placebo effect can be really strong (as Cainad just demonstrated), so I figured I'm gonna try them anyway, cause if they work I don't care if they don't work physiologically but just psychologically.

so I'm taking two every day but they don't seem to do shit.

however fuck it, the bottle was 3 euros and I'm gonna go on until it's empty.

Valerian root.  LOL.

I take horse tranquilizers every fucking night and then God beats me unconscious with a hammer the size of Cleveland, and look at the shape I'm in!

TGRR,
Walking ad for Big Pharma.

[Cainad (dec.)]

well on impulse i bought a bottle of valerian pills, for stress relief, but later on i read they are really just homeopathic and don't actually do anything much except for placebo effect. but I also recently read that the placebo effect can be really strong (as Cainad just demonstrated), so I figured I'm gonna try them anyway, cause if they work I don't care if they don't work physiologically but just psychologically.

so I'm taking two every day but they don't seem to do shit.

however fuck it, the bottle was 3 euros and I'm gonna go on until it's empty.

AFAIK it doesn't work if you know it's a placebo; you have to be fooled. Unless, I suppose, you do some hypno-trance-psychosomatic-somatopsychic-voodoo-smokeweedandlistentoPinkFloyd mind games stuff.


Looking back, the fact that my heart rate was not through the fucking roof should have been a tip that I wasn't quite as hopped up as I thought I was, but hey.

Valerian root.  LOL.

I take horse tranquilizers every fucking night and then God beats me unconscious with a hammer the size of Cleveland, and look at the shape I'm in!

TGRR,
Walking ad for Big Pharma.

Yeah, didn't you once get phony pills and couldn't sleep because of it? Sometimes it's matter over mind, plain and simple.