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Big as a house

Started by Mesozoic Mister Nigel, July 10, 2011, 06:31:19 PM

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Luna

Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 11, 2011, 01:48:07 PM
Quote from: Nigel on July 10, 2011, 10:08:17 PM
I've become pathetic.

Naw.  If you're still feeling emo in June of 2012, THEN you can think you're pathetic.

Dok,
STILL isn't all the way over The Girl, and it's been 25 years.

Getting over the NYEX is going faster than I expected, really.  I'm still occasionally angry, but I haven't gotten weepy over him much at all, lately.  A few seconds on our anniversary, in June, walking past the spot where we got married, and when I sat down, undid all the knots from the cords from our handfasting, cut them, and burned them, and that's been it. 

How do you define "over," anyway?  No more tears?  No more anger?  No more feelings at all?
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 11, 2011, 01:48:07 PM
Quote from: Nigel on July 10, 2011, 10:08:17 PM
I've become pathetic.

Naw.  If you're still feeling emo in June of 2012, THEN you can think you're pathetic.

Dok,
STILL isn't all the way over The Girl, and it's been 25 years.

Some people really get in there, don't they?

The hardest part for me is the hope. I'm still hopeful that in a few months or a  year, I'll have worked on my issues and he'll have worked on his, and we'll be ready to give it another shot.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Luna on July 11, 2011, 03:15:52 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 11, 2011, 01:48:07 PM
Quote from: Nigel on July 10, 2011, 10:08:17 PM
I've become pathetic.

Naw.  If you're still feeling emo in June of 2012, THEN you can think you're pathetic.

Dok,
STILL isn't all the way over The Girl, and it's been 25 years.

Getting over the NYEX is going faster than I expected, really.  I'm still occasionally angry, but I haven't gotten weepy over him much at all, lately.  A few seconds on our anniversary, in June, walking past the spot where we got married, and when I sat down, undid all the knots from the cords from our handfasting, cut them, and burned them, and that's been it.  

How do you define "over," anyway?  No more tears?  No more anger?  No more feelings at all?

For me, "over" is as simple as; no longing. No yearning for the might-have-been, no hoping for the still-might-be, no staring at his hands or remembering the time we went for a walk on Mount Tabor and took pictures of the Snowcap dumpster and then ate pho and then took our first nap together. When all the little details of our courtship no longer stand out as big and meaningful, when I start to forget, I'll know I'm over him.

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Luna

I realized I was getting over him when I was having a conversation, and I realized I had talked about something we had done, and used his name, and it didn't hurt.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Elder Iptuous

Nigel, i can't say that i understand, and i'm glad for that.
but some shadow of what you're feeling comes through in your post, and my heart goes out to you...
:sad:

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Doktor Howl

Quote from: Nigel on July 11, 2011, 03:38:53 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 11, 2011, 01:48:07 PM
Quote from: Nigel on July 10, 2011, 10:08:17 PM
I've become pathetic.

Naw.  If you're still feeling emo in June of 2012, THEN you can think you're pathetic.

Dok,
STILL isn't all the way over The Girl, and it's been 25 years.

Some people really get in there, don't they?

The hardest part for me is the hope. I'm still hopeful that in a few months or a  year, I'll have worked on my issues and he'll have worked on his, and we'll be ready to give it another shot.

Oh, yeah.  The hardest part for me is that *I* blatantly fucked it up.  Most times, you hear someone say, "It's all my/the other person's fault", and you think, "yeah, it's more like 50/50."  But not in this particular case.

I saw her 15 years later, and there was none of that Fogelberg "Auld Land Syne" (Sic?) crap.  If looks could kill, I'd have been a greasy spot on the floor.
Molon Lube

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 11, 2011, 07:46:10 PM
Quote from: Nigel on July 11, 2011, 03:38:53 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 11, 2011, 01:48:07 PM
Quote from: Nigel on July 10, 2011, 10:08:17 PM
I've become pathetic.

Naw.  If you're still feeling emo in June of 2012, THEN you can think you're pathetic.

Dok,
STILL isn't all the way over The Girl, and it's been 25 years.

Some people really get in there, don't they?

The hardest part for me is the hope. I'm still hopeful that in a few months or a  year, I'll have worked on my issues and he'll have worked on his, and we'll be ready to give it another shot.

Oh, yeah.  The hardest part for me is that *I* blatantly fucked it up.  Most times, you hear someone say, "It's all my/the other person's fault", and you think, "yeah, it's more like 50/50."  But not in this particular case.

I saw her 15 years later, and there was none of that Fogelberg "Auld Land Syne" (Sic?) crap.  If looks could kill, I'd have been a greasy spot on the floor.

Oh, that's the worst. :(

With Mr. Language at least I know it wasn't all my fault. There were other things wrong, (in some respects massively wrong) and my regret lies in wondering if we could have pulled it off had I chosen a route other than breaking up with him to force things to change.

Not realizing, of course, that a large part of what has to change involves going through intensive counseling and ripping off 26 years of habit and facade so I can start fresh from where I got stuck, recognizing that emotionally, I am 14 years old when it comes to romantic relationships.

It would be nice to have someone's hand to hold through it.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Anna Mae Bollocks

There's a lot of stuff I never got over, but I got used to it, if that makes any sense. It doesn't kick my ass anymore.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Luna

Quote from: Nigel on July 11, 2011, 09:01:39 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 11, 2011, 07:46:10 PM
Quote from: Nigel on July 11, 2011, 03:38:53 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 11, 2011, 01:48:07 PM
Quote from: Nigel on July 10, 2011, 10:08:17 PM
I've become pathetic.

Naw.  If you're still feeling emo in June of 2012, THEN you can think you're pathetic.

Dok,
STILL isn't all the way over The Girl, and it's been 25 years.

Some people really get in there, don't they?

The hardest part for me is the hope. I'm still hopeful that in a few months or a  year, I'll have worked on my issues and he'll have worked on his, and we'll be ready to give it another shot.

Oh, yeah.  The hardest part for me is that *I* blatantly fucked it up.  Most times, you hear someone say, "It's all my/the other person's fault", and you think, "yeah, it's more like 50/50."  But not in this particular case.

I saw her 15 years later, and there was none of that Fogelberg "Auld Land Syne" (Sic?) crap.  If looks could kill, I'd have been a greasy spot on the floor.

Oh, that's the worst. :(

With Mr. Language at least I know it wasn't all my fault. There were other things wrong, (in some respects massively wrong) and my regret lies in wondering if we could have pulled it off had I chosen a route other than breaking up with him to force things to change.

Not realizing, of course, that a large part of what has to change involves going through intensive counseling and ripping off 26 years of habit and facade so I can start fresh from where I got stuck, recognizing that emotionally, I am 14 years old when it comes to romantic relationships.

It would be nice to have someone's hand to hold through it.

There's really no way to know.  Sometimes, breaking things off completely is the ONLY way to get your point across.  I tried for a year before I realized that walking away was my only option... and I'll never get that year back.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

P3nT4gR4m

Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 11, 2011, 07:46:10 PM
Quote from: Nigel on July 11, 2011, 03:38:53 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 11, 2011, 01:48:07 PM
Quote from: Nigel on July 10, 2011, 10:08:17 PM
I've become pathetic.

Naw.  If you're still feeling emo in June of 2012, THEN you can think you're pathetic.

Dok,
STILL isn't all the way over The Girl, and it's been 25 years.

Some people really get in there, don't they?

The hardest part for me is the hope. I'm still hopeful that in a few months or a  year, I'll have worked on my issues and he'll have worked on his, and we'll be ready to give it another shot.

Oh, yeah.  The hardest part for me is that *I* blatantly fucked it up.  Most times, you hear someone say, "It's all my/the other person's fault", and you think, "yeah, it's more like 50/50."  But not in this particular case.

I saw her 15 years later, and there was none of that Fogelberg "Auld Land Syne" (Sic?) crap.  If looks could kill, I'd have been a greasy spot on the floor.

:awesome: I hear ya! Best thing that ever happened to me was wizing up to the fact that I was enough of a fuckhead to arse up the most perfect opportunity that'd ever been handed to anyone. Ever. Turned me from a fuckhead into a biped but it took a lot of time, a lot of booze and drugs and it hurt like a motherfucker. To this day I still couldn't look her in the eye. Not cause my heart didn't heal years ago. It's the fucking shame

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark