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Rev Roger: The Heresies, Chapter 2

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, November 20, 2003, 05:42:06 AM

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Bella

QuoteWell, after watching this week's South Park, I'm thinking of converting, too. From Wicca to Anti-Mormon.
Hehe.....I've been Anti-Mormon ever since they refused to take my name off the church records, even though I repeatedly asked them to.
After a year or so they showed up on my door step and, to my very face, insisted that they would only discuss the matter with the "family patriarch". Pissed me off and because I wouldn't let them in, they gave me a month to repent. I didn't ......so they finally kicked me out. Sheesh!

Too bad it took so long for me to figure out that they don't kick you out when you want them to - only when they want to.  :twisted:
just like in a dream
you'll open your mouth to scream
and you won't make a sound

you can't believe your eyes
you can't believe your ears
you can't believe your friends
you can't believe you're here

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomDegeneracy is the word for it alright.  First they sucked his brains out through his nose,( what little there were to begin with), then they slurped his soul up through drinking straws.....and then........and then......they turned him into a  :shock: MORMON. :shock:

Well, they couldn't turn him into a Mormon FIRST, you know...
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote
After a year or so they showed up on my door step and, to my very face, insisted that they would only discuss the matter with the "family patriarch". Pissed me off and because I wouldn't let them in, they gave me a month to repent. I didn't ......

That's funny.

The "family patriarch".

<giggle>

BE THE FIRST FAMILY ON YOUR BLOCK TO HAVE A PATRIARCH!  BE THE ENVY OF THE NEIGHBORS!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

SMFabal

Can you be a patriarch if you're a single male with no children?

Just asking ...
SMFabal, High Pope of CoCK, PSP, CW, KSC, FP, GH, MORBJ

Q: How serious are you about this whole "Discordian" thing?
A: A blue fish Tuesday!
Q: No really, it this, like, deeply philosphical, or just a huge joke?
A: Yes.

The Good Reverend Roger

What about gay men?  Can THEY be patriarchs?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Bella

QuoteWell, they couldn't turn him into a Mormon FIRST, you know...
True....they either have to hatch you out as a Mormon and hope you don't get wise......or suck your brains through your nose and then convert you so they can get at your soul. :twisted:

PS: I find that tv works almost as well as prairie squid when it comes to brain sucking.

QuoteThat's funny.

The "family patriarch".

<giggle>

BE THE FIRST FAMILY ON YOUR BLOCK TO HAVE A PATRIARCH! BE THE ENVY OF THE NEIGHBORS!
It's funny, and extremely old school.....they are hot on the subject of patriarchal law and order.  If given a choice between conversing with a Mormon woman (about the status of her own soul, mind you) or a non-Mormon husband and/or father....they opt for the husband/father every single time.
just like in a dream
you'll open your mouth to scream
and you won't make a sound

you can't believe your eyes
you can't believe your ears
you can't believe your friends
you can't believe you're here

The Commander

Can I be a Patriarch?  I can by a pipe and smoke bubbles out of it.  I can walk around in my undies and scratch my genitals.  Does that qualify me?

The Commander
DIA
The Commander
DIA
Discordian Intelligence Agency

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: The CommanderCan I be a Patriarch?  I can by a pipe and smoke bubbles out of it.  I can walk around in my undies and scratch my genitals.  Does that qualify me?

The Commander
DIA

That's a start.

But you also have to want a wife that doesn't speak her mind, etc.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Commander

That leaves me out then...damn!


The Commander
DIA
The Commander
DIA
Discordian Intelligence Agency

Slarti

roger what's the point of this heresy?

you're too negative.


all of your threads now are just telling us that we're slaves and we'll always be slaves and they're nothing we can do about it. i think we all understand that know.

why don't we try to find something constructive to do to try and free ourselves, instead of just sitting in the dark complaining about the lack of light when we can easly reach for the switch

Bella

So many good questions:

QuoteCan you be a patriarch if you're a single male with no children?

Just asking ...
Yes, if you are the oldest male in your family, you would be considered the patriarch and hold dominion over your mother, any un-married sisters, nieces - even aunts and grandmothers (including any women married to non-mormons). Even if you were not a patriarch, but held the priesthood (and every worthy male over 12 holds the priesthood) you would still have authority over any woman.
QuoteWhat about gay men? Can THEY be patriarchs?
Closet gays could.  :twisted:

Seriously, I suppose if you were an openly gay father, you would still be considered family patriarch...provided you were the only male over the age of 12. Otherwise one of the straight males would become patriarch.

QuoteCan I be a Patriarch? I can by a pipe and smoke bubbles out of it. I can walk around in my undies and scratch my genitals. Does that qualify me?

Roger is right....you would have to have a wife who didn't speak her mind.....and Mormons don't use even bubble pipes. Don't fret, dear.....you can still walk around in your undies and scratch your genitals. :wink:
just like in a dream
you'll open your mouth to scream
and you won't make a sound

you can't believe your eyes
you can't believe your ears
you can't believe your friends
you can't believe you're here

S M Fabal

That both sad and slightly pathetic

PrincessEris von Tartarus

How about matriarchs?  :twisted:  

Bella, we assassins are matriarchs. For our dear commander, admiral and karma manager. without us as thier executive arms they could not walk about the agency in undies scratching their genitals...

we are in charge of thier wellbeing... and the ever-lobotomized commander needs me as his guardian. without me he would even forget where he put his pipe...  :P

don¬•t you think so bella dear?  :twisted:
Atomic Assassin - Die Attentäterin - DIA/DND
International Mush Mullah with Tao Jones

Ich liebe dich mein wunderbarer Kohlkopfkiller! Du hast mein
Herz erwärmt und lässt meine Gedanken erblühen und meine Muschi glühen.... *g*



Bella

Quote from: Eris von TartarusHow about matriarchs?  :twisted:  

Bella, we assassins are matriarchs. For our dear commander, admiral and karma manager. without us as thier executive arms they could not walk about the agency in undies scratching their genitals...

we are in charge of thier wellbeing... and the ever-lobotomized commander needs me as his guardian. without me he would even forget where he put his pipe...  :P

don¬•t you think so bella dear?  :twisted:

Not me, sweetheart.....the commander totally got the better assassin, as matriarchy is a lot of work, and I'm much to lazy to look after the poor Karma Manager the way take care of your dear commander. Obviously, I would kill for him  :twisted:  but be his matriarch...no.

PS: All those lobotomies make a big difference in the needs of the Karma Manager and the Commander. I just kill a few enemies and feed him some pie and he is happy.
just like in a dream
you'll open your mouth to scream
and you won't make a sound

you can't believe your eyes
you can't believe your ears
you can't believe your friends
you can't believe you're here

B23.77

Quote from: Slartibartfastroger what's the point of this heresy?

you're too negative.


all of your threads now are just telling us that we're slaves and we'll always be slaves and they're nothing we can do about it. i think we all understand that know.

why don't we try to find something constructive to do to try and free ourselves, instead of just sitting in the dark complaining about the lack of light when we can easly reach for the switch

There is an irony that you are as negative as Roger is about the same things.  As for being slaves, you know, it could be much worse.  We could be actual slaves without the freedom to slack off and arrogantly flaunt the "system".  That's the way it used to be for the low-down, dirty classes of society and still is in some places.  Personally, I don't bitch much about the fact that I have to work to keep life functioning.  The system even gives me social security when I'm not working.  Some Discordians think that Discordianism is about fucking over the society that supports you.  Personally, Discordianism is more about mere disagreement with general insanity plus some fun mind games than the sabatoge of parts of society that aren't even corrupt to begin with.  Christianity is a little crooked, in my opinion, but so are some Discordians, like the punkasses that blew up the pentagon.
p.s. to any government agent reading this: every religious and political nut is Discordian, not that I know who actually did it, but it might have been some asshole phage who knew about Discordia.  
p.p.s. to everybody in particular: No offense.  Erisians are generally a good bunch.  Not completely irrational, but aware of the irrational and absurd.  What is rational?  I'm completely irrational.  I guess that means I'm not a Discordian... or am.
p.p.p.s. to generally nobody: Fuck you!

OR BLOODY MURDER!