Friends, do you ever feel like the world has gone NUTS?  That things are spiraling out of control?  That the storm has arrived, and everyone around you is arguing about STUPID SHIT that doesn't matter, while everything burns down? 
But then you tell yourself that things can't possibly be that bad, that it must be YOU and your BAD ATTITUDE.  Maybe you're depressed or something, and everything just LOOKS BAD...
I have some bad news for you.
THINGS REALLY ARE THAT BAD!  You've just gotten USED to it.  Odds are, you have just learned to compartmentalize it, so you don't have to spend all day thinking about your brain-wrenching degree of debt, or the fact that you - especially those of you under the age of 25 - will spend the rest of your miserable lives paying off a national debt that is now at a magnitude of 13 digits.
Funniest part is, a lifetime of debt is the BEST you can hope for.  The alternatives are much, much worse.  5 seconds from now, you could be groaning in pain, trapped in the white-hot wreckage of whatever you were standing in whenever IT happens...whatever IT is. Or maybe you'll just die of thirst 5 years from now in the Great Kansas Desert.
Yes, the fact is that either way, the post-holocaust nihilism of The Road Warrior may turn out to be idiotically optimistic.  You younger types will most likely spend your lives in a cube, PRAYING that a horde of berserk bikers would come along and kill you, because then at least your torment would be over.
None of this is an accident, by the way.  This was all done to you ON PURPOSE.
It's the Conspiracy,Ñ¢, brothers and sisters, the conspiracy of normality.¬† They're out to take your Slack...your God-given right to FUCK OFF.¬† Oh, they'll dribble just enough Slack, or more likely false slack your way to keep you alive so that you can work some more...but outright FUN?¬† Hell, no.¬† You'll learn to work 80 hours a week, for the privelege of doing it again next week.
But the situation isn't TOTALLY hopeless...because there's "Bob".  JR "Bob" Dobbs, the living Slackmaster, who has come to RATIONALIZE YOUR SINS.  "Bob" is the smiling face of tomorrow.  He is the face of progress (even if his pipe smells like rancid shit).  He is the cosmic reacharound that the universe OWES you.  HE IS THE "CATCHER" IN YOUR DUTCH PR0N!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Or Kill me.
Wow. *feels punched in the gut*
Guess you did good, again, Rog. Bravo.
rah fucking rah!!!!