OPEN BAR: Top 10 things millenials hate about OB that we didn't know last week!

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Did you see the piece on NPR that put it to a blind taste test?  It was really interesting.  The takeaway was that, if washed well enough first, it basically really does taste like a tough piece of calamari.

The magic of deep frying!

Yeah... they basically went in search of the rumor that it was actually being served as calamari in restaurants, and when they were unable to find any evidence for that, they went with "but COULD it hypothetically be served as calamari?" and then concluded that if it were "prepared properly" they could see it being passed off for calamari.

I was like, really NPR?

It's the MythBusters school of journalism: just because a terrible thing didn't happen doesn't mean we shouldn't blow shit up anyway.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Did you see the piece on NPR that put it to a blind taste test?  It was really interesting.  The takeaway was that, if washed well enough first, it basically really does taste like a tough piece of calamari.

The magic of deep frying!

Yeah... they basically went in search of the rumor that it was actually being served as calamari in restaurants, and when they were unable to find any evidence for that, they went with "but COULD it hypothetically be served as calamari?" and then concluded that if it were "prepared properly" they could see it being passed off for calamari.

I was like, really NPR?

It's the MythBusters school of journalism: just because a terrible thing didn't happen doesn't mean we shouldn't blow shit up anyway.

[hooplala]

Did you see the piece on NPR that put it to a blind taste test?  It was really interesting.  The takeaway was that, if washed well enough first, it basically really does taste like a tough piece of calamari.

The magic of deep frying!

Ok, but who wants a tough piece of calamari?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Did you see the piece on NPR that put it to a blind taste test?  It was really interesting.  The takeaway was that, if washed well enough first, it basically really does taste like a tough piece of calamari.

The magic of deep frying!

Ok, but who wants a tough piece of calamari?

I feel like that wouldn't be a very hot seller.

[hooplala]

Did you see the piece on NPR that put it to a blind taste test?  It was really interesting.  The takeaway was that, if washed well enough first, it basically really does taste like a tough piece of calamari.

The magic of deep frying!

Ok, but who wants a tough piece of calamari?

I feel like that wouldn't be a very hot seller.

Yeah, you send that shit back.

[Doktor Howl]

Did you see the piece on NPR that put it to a blind taste test?  It was really interesting.  The takeaway was that, if washed well enough first, it basically really does taste like a tough piece of calamari.

The magic of deep frying!

Ok, but who wants a tough piece of calamari?

I feel like that wouldn't be a very hot seller.

HELLO.  TARGET DEMOGRAPHIC GROUP WE'RE DISCUSSING?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Did you see the piece on NPR that put it to a blind taste test?  It was really interesting.  The takeaway was that, if washed well enough first, it basically really does taste like a tough piece of calamari.

The magic of deep frying!

Ok, but who wants a tough piece of calamari?

I feel like that wouldn't be a very hot seller.

HELLO.  TARGET DEMOGRAPHIC GROUP WE'RE DISCUSSING?

True. Only you wouldn't market them as calamari, you'd market them as an ancient Chinese medicine that Westerners are afraid to eat, and you would dry them, salt them, and sell them in waxed paper bags, three for $26.99.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Good medicine for treating food intolerances. Just eat one whenever you get a craving for a gluten or histamine-rich food, nightshades,  or ice cream, and it will balance your chi so that you will suffer no ill effects.

[Doktor Howl]

Good medicine for treating food intolerances. Just eat one whenever you get a craving for a gluten or histamine-rich food, nightshades,  or ice cream, and it will balance your chi so that you will suffer no ill effects.

This is starting to make me hate everything.  Everything.  Just burn it all down, and moonwalk on the fucking ashes like Scipio.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Inverted Pork Rectum: What Western Medicine Doesn't Want You to Know

"Rectum?" I hear some of my more squeamish readers shrieking. Yes, this is real and no, you shouldn't be freaking out about it. The fact is that traditional societies have always known how vital it is to consume the whole animal, not just the "choice" cuts preferred by colonial invaders. Picky consumers refusing the "icky" bits of an animal account for literally billions of pounds of wasted flesh, as much as fifty percent of an animal raised in captivity solely for human consumption will go to waste for our vanity! Consciously choosing less desirable cuts enables the wise consumer to reap the benefits of limited meat consumption without contributing to the death toll in factory farms.

But pork rectums (yes, I said it again) aren't just an ethical issue. Rectal tissue is unique in its structure compared to both regular muscle tissue and plant tissue. In the upper digestive system, it acts like a specialized scrubber, removing small pockets of undigested (rotting) foods, bacterial colonies, and accumulated toxins. In villages where rectum is a routine part the diet, stomach and esophageal cancers are all but unheard of!

[Chelagoras The Boulder]

just got an email from Nancy, one of the board members at the community garden saying that i've been getting complaints about the watering services I've been providing. The main complaint seems to be that i'm leaving the hoses dirty when i'm done with them. Nancy says she wants to talk to me when she gets back on Monday, hopefully its a warning, because even tho the pay is shit and the work is irregular, i actually enjoy doing the work and hanging out in the garden. Its a shit gig, but its a shit gig i will really miss if i get canned. 

[Reginald Ret]

just got an email from Nancy, one of the board members at the community garden saying that i've been getting complaints about the watering services I've been providing. The main complaint seems to be that i'm leaving the hoses dirty when i'm done with them. Nancy says she wants to talk to me when she gets back on Monday, hopefully its a warning, because even tho the pay is shit and the work is irregular, i actually enjoy doing the work and hanging out in the garden. Its a shit gig, but its a shit gig i will really miss if i get canned. 

That sucks, I hope you get to keep the gig. They can't fire you over something this small if this is the first time the complaints were brought to your attention, right?

Working in a garden for money is a great gig, if only it payed enough to cover the cost of living.

[LMNO]

LET'S ALL GET GAY MARRIED!

[Junkenstein]

HOWL - Check PM's.

[LMNO]

Someone was whining on my friend's page, and he was all, "you better step off, or someone's going to drop a house on you."


I really need to remember that line.