Random News Stories

[Junkenstein]

Prefer your HA HA with a straight face?

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/obama-says-he-consulted-congress-prisoner-swap

The President also addressed the potential threats that the release of the five detainees could pose to national security. He acknowledged that there is a certain recidivism rate for former prisoners, but said that monitoring of the detainees was a condition of the exchange.

"I wouldn't be doing it if I thought it was contrary to American national security," he said.

Well, let's be clear about this for a moment - Those that go back to "terrorist activities" tend to do so either on the explicit instructions of US personnel, or are so obviously going to go back to their old ways they probably get assigned their own personal drone. Is this contrary to American National security? Well, it would basically be a coin flip with the release of each detainee it seems. Have your years in Gitmo broken you or pissed you off beyond all reason? I doubt many walk out of there and stay out everything related to Terrorism.

Personally, if I was terrorist executing a prisoner exchange, I'm not entirely certain I'd want to. Anyone captured has to be assumed to be compromised and letting them anywhere close to you is just asking for a drone to the face. So that leaves option #3 where your associates torture the ever loving fuck out of the poor bastard again to learn what he told them. Then a shallow hole is dug.

Naturally, you should all be quite relived as terrorists are obviously not as evil and calculating as that.

[Cramulus]

http://ultraculture.org/blog/2014/05/30/executive-killed-get-another-universe/

An inquest last week has revealed that a JP Morgan exec that committed suicide earlier this year was obsessed with the concept of parallel universes and a mysterious suicide pact between two American students based on the theory.

"There was a story of a double suicide in the States where two students had killed themselves," she said. "It was to do with quantum physics and suicide, the two students were linked up to lethal injections which were operated by lottery numbers.

"So the only universe they would wake up in would be the one they both won the lottery in.

I've found no evidence his suicide was connected to this Schrodinger's Suicide Pact type thing, but it makes for a crazy headline

[LMNO]

12-year-old girls stab friend 19 times because of Slender Man.

This does not seem to be a hoax news site.

What the fuck, internet.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Dangerous things ideas. All they have to do is get into the wrong heads

[Junkenstein]

12-year-old girls stab friend 19 times because of Slender Man.

This does not seem to be a hoax news site.

What the fuck, internet.

What the fuck indeed. What the fuck all over the fucking place:

WAUKESHA, Wis. (AP) — Prosecutors say two 12-year-old southeastern Wisconsin girls stabbed their 12-year-old friend nearly to death in the woods to please a mythological creature they learned about online.

Both girls were charged as adults with first-degree attempted homicide Monday in Waukesha County Circuit Court; they each face up to 60 years in prison if convicted. A court commissioner set bail at $500,000 cash per child. According to a criminal complaint, the girls had been planning to kill their friend for months and finally made the attempt in a park on Saturday morning, after a slumber party.

The Associated Press isn't naming either girl who is charged because at least one of their attorneys plans to pursue moving her case into juvenile court, where proceedings are secret.

Both girls appeared in court wearing shackles and jail jumpsuits. They were surrounded by sheriff's baliffs, who towered over them. Family members of one of the girls wept openly as reporters snapped photographs. The other girl's family sat stone-faced.

One of the girl's attorneys, Donna Kuchler, asked Pieper to remove reporters from the courtroom because she planned to attempt to get her client waived into juvenile court. Pieper refused. Kuchler escorted the girl's family out of the courtroom, telling reporters only that the family was horrified at what happened.

Fuck the slenderman thing, you've got all kinds of fucked up just from the court proceedings. If those kids weren't irrevocably fucked up before, they will be by the end of this. There's a whole system rolling now to guarantee it.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

12 year olds are clearly adults, and should be treated as such.

Because America™.

[P3nT4gR4m]

But a whole bunch of voters had a premature outrage-gasm, instantaneously transforming these from baby-humans to MONSTERS^tm what else could the courts have possibly done?

[Junkenstein]

http://www.khou.com/news/texas-news/Open-carry-supporters-rally-in-North-Texas-261607491.html

"Responsible gun ownership is responsible gun ownership," said Wilcox. "Flaunting it and throwing it in people's faces... that's where the dialogue becomes restrictive."
"I understand where it can seem intimidating to some people," Donawho replied. "However, we still have the right to do it."

Points - Much in the same way people claim free speech, it does increasingy seem that the best reason these people have to do this is that it isn't technically illegal.

There's a comment asking what the likely result would be if a group of black men decided to try the same thing. I think we can all have a decent guess because it's pretty fucking obvious.

[P3nT4gR4m]

The cultural component of the American right to own remote death machinery is too alien for me to really understand what I'm looking at. It may strike my outsider's eye as totally fucking batshit but I can't imagine what it must be like to live in that environment. "Open Carry" actions seem to be part of this somehow.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

But a whole bunch of voters had a premature outrage-gasm, instantaneously transforming these from baby-humans to MONSTERS^tm what else could the courts have possibly done?

There is no longer any need for the voters to do any such thing.  The Machine™ has become self-managing.

[Raz Tech]

What you're seeing is the second amendment at work, in all of its glorious beauty.  When our forefathers began to write out the second amendment, they specifically envisioned everyone carrying their muskets with them wherever they went, especially to fast food chains.  The freedom of the American people to own guns is what keeps us from being tyrannically oppressed like all of those people in China and North Korea.  If every man, woman, and child owned and carried a gun, there would be no more violent crime, and we would be able to keep ourselves free of oppressive and tyrannical rule.

That's what those people, generally speaking, think.  In reality, it's an archaic notion that comes from a time when such a thing may have been plausible.  Before America had a "real" Army, a group of armed civilians could potentially stop an oppressive regime from forming.  They could also potentially fend off foreign invasions, and the formation of a militia was sort of dependent on everyone owning a gun.  Nowadays, most of these notions aren't even viable.  For example, between the national guard and the police force, I'll be damned if a bunch of random guys with guns are going to be able to bring down a tyrannical regime, should one start in this particular country.  There isn't really much of a reason to own a gun at all, other than hunting and maybe home defense.  I can't think of any very good reasons to carry a gun around in the open, just because it makes you feel safer.  An even greater lack of thought would have to go into the idea of carrying around a semi-automatic assault rifle openly.  All of the possible open carry arguments (self-defense and defense of others) fall right out the window.  These are weapons that actually lose their effectiveness to a certain extent at closer ranges, and at the same time become more efficient at creating collateral damage.  If you have to own a gun, why not just keep it in your house?  Even scarier to me is the growing amount of states allowing people to carry concealed weapons.  If you meet the criteria, you can wander around pretty much wherever you want with a gun on you at all times, and nobody can know until it's too late.

Just my two cents.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

What you're seeing is the second amendment at work, in all of its glorious beauty.  When our forefathers began to write out the second amendment, they specifically envisioned everyone carrying their muskets with them wherever they went, especially to fast food chains.  The freedom of the American people to own guns is what keeps us from being tyrannically oppressed like all of those people in China and North Korea.  If every man, woman, and child owned and carried a gun, there would be no more violent crime, and we would be able to keep ourselves free of oppressive and tyrannical rule.

That's what those people, generally speaking, think.  In reality, it's an archaic notion that comes from a time when such a thing may have been plausible.  Before America had a "real" Army, a group of armed civilians could potentially stop an oppressive regime from forming.  They could also potentially fend off foreign invasions, and the formation of a militia was sort of dependent on everyone owning a gun.  Nowadays, most of these notions aren't even viable.  For example, between the national guard and the police force, I'll be damned if a bunch of random guys with guns are going to be able to bring down a tyrannical regime, should one start in this particular country.  There isn't really much of a reason to own a gun at all, other than hunting and maybe home defense.  I can't think of any very good reasons to carry a gun around in the open, just because it makes you feel safer.  An even greater lack of thought would have to go into the idea of carrying around a semi-automatic assault rifle openly.  All of the possible open carry arguments (self-defense and defense of others) fall right out the window.  These are weapons that actually lose their effectiveness to a certain extent at closer ranges, and at the same time become more efficient at creating collateral damage.  If you have to own a gun, why not just keep it in your house?  Even scarier to me is the growing amount of states allowing people to carry concealed weapons.  If you meet the criteria, you can wander around pretty much wherever you want with a gun on you at all times, and nobody can know until it's too late.

Just my two cents.

Well, I say "why stop there?"  There are 9 other amendments in the BoR for us to improve.

And don't forget, people like Pat Roberston and John Boehner will want their say as well...And they're going to get listened to, while I am unsure if you and I would get heard.

But, you know, that's the small price you have to consider, when you're planning to update clearly inferior old documents written by wig-wearing hippies back in the stone age.

[Pergamos]

12 year olds are clearly adults, and should be treated as such.

Because America™.

Especcially 12 year olds who still believe in the boogeyman.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I have been reading way too much about juvenile killers to even start to opine on this.

[minuspace]

http://ultraculture.org/blog/2014/05/30/executive-killed-get-another-universe/

An inquest last week has revealed that a JP Morgan exec that committed suicide earlier this year was obsessed with the concept of parallel universes and a mysterious suicide pact between two American students based on the theory.

"There was a story of a double suicide in the States where two students had killed themselves," she said. "It was to do with quantum physics and suicide, the two students were linked up to lethal injections which were operated by lottery numbers.

"So the only universe they would wake up in would be the one they both won the lottery in.

I've found no evidence his suicide was connected to this Schrodinger's Suicide Pact type thing, but it makes for a crazy headline

Sounds like maybe they were knocking on the wrong door.