OPEN BAR: 50 Shades of Chronic Liver Disease

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

I'm at the ER. Hail Eris.

Possible UTI or lodged kidney stone. Or both. They don't know yet, I'm just back to pissing shards of glass.

I'm so sorry to hear about your cat's... wait... your OWN urinary tract. 


Depression is in full swing today. Thanks a lot, scumbag brain.

Pour whiskey on it.  That will shut it up.

Sounds delightful. After work.

[Suu]

My hospital just called to tell me that the antibiotics are going to fuck with the effectiveness of my birth control. 

*sings*
"it's getting better...all the tiiiiiime!"

[Suu]

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE.

URI didn't send UNH my full completed transcript that shows I graduated. Conveniently, the system that I need to use to request a new transcript to be sent is down.

[StandBackJack]

I ate cake tonight.

[Idem]

Hey guys, haven't logged on in a while! It's nice to see that the forum's still active.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I'm at the ER. Hail Eris.

Possible UTI or lodged kidney stone. Or both. They don't know yet, I'm just back to pissing shards of glass.

Sucktastic!

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Boss calls me in early to cover his shift so he can go cover a shift at another store. I show up and he tells me he's getting a $40 bonus to go to that other store. I ask him what I'm getting. He's confused. I explain that if he's getting a bonus to cut out on his shift to work less time somewhere else for three times as much money then I want to know what I'm getting for coming in to work his shift so he can go work this other magical money tripling shift.

He says I'm getting nothing. I say okay, then I won't come in next time. He says I'm already here. I say yep, but next time I won't be. He then says he was lying about the bonus and he really has to go now. I ask him what we're out of and if any of the broken stuff has been fixed.

He says nothing has been fixed and then RUNS out the door before he can explain that there aren't back-ups of anything and I'm basically opening the store in the middle of the afternoon, need fresh EVERYTHING, because there were three people there that didn't do DICK after the lunch rush.

I cackle. And then pull in four times the normal tips. Because instilling fear in the hearts of men and working towards getting myself fired in the process makes me gleeful which makes the customers properly appreciative of my ability to use a knife.

And every time I got a complaint (which, oddly, there were TONS of complaints tonight) because something was broken or we were out of something or our ridiculous prices because he jacked everything up to put more money in his pocket, I helpfully showed the customers where the survey was and explained how easy it was to click a few buttons and leave a comment telling our owners what the customers REALLY think.

Tee-hee. 

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE.

URI didn't send UNH my full completed transcript that shows I graduated. Conveniently, the system that I need to use to request a new transcript to be sent is down.

Damn, Suu. O.o It's okay. Really. The world will not self-destruct if happy things happen. Honest. Your inner glitch doesn't need to blow shit up to crash down all the happy awesome that is grad school and impending wedded bliss. Just put down the reality distorter and back away . . .

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

My hospital just called to tell me that the antibiotics are going to fuck with the effectiveness of my birth control. 

*sings*
"it's getting better...all the tiiiiiime!"

Hold on. You didn't already know this?
It's in the instructions that come with your birth control, and usually somewhere in the thing that comes with your antibiotics.
Do never sex on pill alone with antibiotics!
This is a thing! Always.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I ate cake tonight.

Cake is delicious!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Hey guys, haven't logged on in a while! It's nice to see that the forum's still active.

ZOMG IDEM!

[Luna]

My hospital just called to tell me that the antibiotics are going to fuck with the effectiveness of my birth control. 

*sings*
"it's getting better...all the tiiiiiime!"

Hold on. You didn't already know this?
It's in the instructions that come with your birth control, and usually somewhere in the thing that comes with your antibiotics.
Do never sex on pill alone with antibiotics!
This is a thing! Always.

ANY antibiotics.  Ever.

Knew a girl who has a lovely son due to that.

[Ben Shapiro]

Partied hard last night with friends. I had half a pint. /b/ear did good.
Holy shit Suu!
Cake good!
Cardinal I expect you to shit in the sink!

[LMNO]

I would eat the HELL out of one of CPD's sammishes.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Partied hard last night with friends. I had half a pint. /b/ear did good.
Holy shit Suu!
Cake good!
Cardinal I expect you to shit in the sink!

If I shit in the sink, it would probably stay there until I cleaned it up. I'll save that for when I quit. :P

I would eat the HELL out of one of CPD's sammishes.

Damn right!