Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Two vast and trunkless legs of stone => Topic started by: Bruno on August 19, 2011, 10:50:05 PM

Title: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Bruno on August 19, 2011, 10:50:05 PM
I've been talking to a friend of mine at work about the English language. He is from Laos and speaks Laotian, Chinese and English.

Somebody used the phrase "in a minute" and he asked me what that meant. His English seems to be pretty good, so I assumed that he understood what the words minute, second, hour, day, etc meant. I explained that it meant "Soon... within a few minutes".

Then I remember that i had been thinking of phrases in English that make no sense a few weeks earlier just lying in bed one night. The only one I could remember was "have to".



"Have to"

WTF is that shit?

"I have to go to the bathroom."

You mean you need to go to the bathroom?

"Have" and "need" are pretty much antonyms. That phrase should mean the opposite of what it does. It should mean "do not need to."

"Do you need to go to the bathroom"?
"No, I have to."

That make more sense, logically.

"I have to go to the bathroom." makes about as much sense as "I get for go to the bathroom", or "I send at go to the bathroom".



I know there are more, but that's the only one I could think of at the time, or now.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Cain on August 19, 2011, 11:29:09 PM
Or "I am being physically coerced into the bathroom".
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 19, 2011, 11:44:10 PM
Or bathroom when toiletroom is really what you are going for. I would be pissed if you dropped a load in my tub.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on August 19, 2011, 11:59:01 PM
Well, you're probably glad I didn't come to the meetup.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 20, 2011, 12:26:42 AM
:lulz: i said MY tub.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 20, 2011, 12:28:11 AM
Note to self. If ech's in boston meet at bar. Dont invite over.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Eve on August 20, 2011, 12:49:34 AM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on August 19, 2011, 11:59:01 PM
Well, you're probably glad I didn't come to the meetup.

Did you shit in my tub when I was at work?

If so, thanks for cleaning up after yourself. :)
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nadezhda on August 20, 2011, 01:01:56 AM
Okay, so I just wrote up the whole shabangle about "have to" and the 'correct' usage and how it evolved in popular speech and stuff, but then I deleted it because no one fucking cares.

English is crazy and doesn't make sense!  Poop in non-toilet receptacles!  Physically coercing Cain in a bathroom!
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 20, 2011, 01:06:47 AM
:lol:
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 20, 2011, 01:09:37 AM
English isnt the only one though. For example in irish you have to use the word blue to describe someone of african descent. Reason being otherwise describing someone as a color refers to their hair color. By that logic my dad is black and i used to be brown and my grandfather used to be red. :?
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Bruno on August 20, 2011, 01:18:19 AM
Going to the bathroom is mine!
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: BadBeast on August 20, 2011, 05:33:10 AM
I possess direction of singular imperative to room that has pipes for shit, not pipes for to do in washing.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: BadBeast on August 20, 2011, 05:40:55 AM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on August 20, 2011, 01:09:37 AM
English isnt the only one though. For example in irish you have to use the word blue to describe someone of african descent. Reason being otherwise describing someone as a color refers to their hair color. By that logic my dad is black and i used to be brown and my grandfather used to be red. :?
So are you "Shiny" in Irish now, or "Was Brown?"   :kojak:
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on August 20, 2011, 05:53:29 AM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on August 20, 2011, 01:09:37 AM
English isnt the only one though. For example in irish you have to use the word blue to describe someone of african descent. Reason being otherwise describing someone as a color refers to their hair color. By that logic my dad is black and i used to be brown and my grandfather used to be red. :?

Is that what they mean by "black Irish"???
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 20, 2011, 06:07:30 AM
@badbeast- ta me maol anois.
@stelz- kinda. There is also a skin tone thing going on there though iirc. My dad does actually get mistaken for greek, morroccan and miscellaneous not irish until he talks.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: BadBeast on August 20, 2011, 06:22:52 AM
I think that "Black Irish" goes back to Medieval times, when some of the Irish would raid the English West coast Monasteries, under cover of darkness in the sure knowledge that the Danes, as Pagan Viking bastards would automatically be blamed.  After all, weren't Ireland a good Christian Nation, under one King, and God?
Thing is, they had to make sure that their shields, or  the colour and cut of their their clothes didn't give them away as being Irish.
If that happened, Rome would have forced the Irish High King, under threat of excommunication to deal with the problem using extremely robust measures, both as a deterrent, and as a gesture of obesience to the Pope.
So the Irish raiders would use black sheilds, with no designation, and wear plain black cloth, so that if by any chance one of them should perish at the meekness of the Monks, there would be no evidence to suggest he was Irish, and the English would have no reason to blame anyone other than the Danes.
When, after many years of getting all the blame, the Danish became a Christian Nation too, they were diplomatically called "The Black Irish" to iterate that they were Kingless Pirates, and not under the rule of the good, God fearing Irish King at all.

Much like a forerunner of the Elizabethan practice of granting Privateer licences to Pirates, in order to plunder the ships of another Christian Nation with impunity.
(I say 'impunity', because the best they managed to do when it all came to a head, was to put that "Armada"thing together, and sail around the British coast in protest, until they all sank)         
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 20, 2011, 08:17:49 AM
Huh. Interesting thing to consider. But I thought that until those damn Norwegians stole our gig, it was fairly well understood that we were THE pirates and the Ard Ri was a wussy figurehead.

Twid,
Maintains that the O'Briens are named after a pretentious wuss.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Cain on August 20, 2011, 10:49:05 AM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on August 20, 2011, 01:09:37 AM
English isnt the only one though. For example in irish you have to use the word blue to describe someone of african descent. Reason being otherwise describing someone as a color refers to their hair color. By that logic my dad is black and i used to be brown and my grandfather used to be red. :?

In Australia, you would call someone who had red hair "blue" or "bluey" or possibly "bluebottle".

This isn't a linguistic quirk, it's just because Australians have a retarded sense of humour.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on August 20, 2011, 12:49:16 PM
Quote from: Eve on August 20, 2011, 12:49:34 AM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on August 19, 2011, 11:59:01 PM
Well, you're probably glad I didn't come to the meetup.

Did you shit in my tub when I was at work?

If so, thanks for cleaning up after yourself. :)

I don't think I ate anything for those 3 days besides a loaf of bread. So I tried, but in the end I just sharted dry breadcrumbs.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on August 20, 2011, 12:50:12 PM
I thought that "Black Irish" meant the people who were descendants of the Spaniards who washed up there after the armada sank?
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 20, 2011, 05:16:16 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on August 20, 2011, 12:50:12 PM
I thought that "Black Irish" meant the people who were descendants of the Spaniards who washed up there after the armada sank?


Quote from: That online encyclopedia that you never should use for a term paper
Black Irish refers to certain groups originally from Ireland. The term is ambiguous and used mainly outside of Ireland. People in different times and places have used it for separate reasons.[citation needed] Opinions also vary in regard to what is perceived as the usual physical characteristics of the so-called black Irish: e.g., dark hair, brown eyes, and medium skin tone; or dark hair, blue or green eyes, and fair skin tone.

More recently, genetic studies have provided new insights into the heritage of Irish people as well as their neighbours from the British Isles. Researchers suggested that migrations from Prehistoric Iberia can be viewed as the primary source for their genetic material, having demonstrated marked similarities with modern representatives of the aforementioned time period in that of the Basque people. This idea has since been revised as the majority of Irish males fall under the R1b sub-clade L-21 which is very rare in Basques.


Looks like the term in general is pretty useless. Probably because people expect us to all be redheads. Even though redheads are bad luck in Irish superstition.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on August 20, 2011, 05:36:36 PM
That's OK, Irish are bad luck in most of the rest of our superstitions. :lulz:
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: BadBeast on August 20, 2011, 05:47:57 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/Udxxk.jpg)
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 20, 2011, 05:52:31 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on August 20, 2011, 05:47:57 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/Udxxk.jpg)

I like how there's like, 3 dudes in that picture. They're probably like, "finally going to get laid! at least one of these gingers will know what its like!"
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: BadBeast on August 20, 2011, 06:13:10 PM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on August 20, 2011, 05:52:31 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on August 20, 2011, 05:47:57 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/Udxxk.jpg)

I like how unattractive there's like, 3 dudes in that picture. They're probably like, "finally going to get laid! at least one of these gingers will know what its like!"
As far as I know, even Gingers find other Gingers unattractive, except in very particular circumstances. It wouldn't be
right to speculate on what those circumstances actually are though, because, . . . .well,  I'm not a Ginger.   
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 20, 2011, 06:19:44 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on August 20, 2011, 06:13:10 PM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on August 20, 2011, 05:52:31 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on August 20, 2011, 05:47:57 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/Udxxk.jpg)

I like how unattractive there's like, 3 dudes in that picture. They're probably like, "finally going to get laid! at least one of these gingers will know what its like!"
As far as I know, even Gingers find other Gingers unattractive, except in very particular circumstances. It wouldn't be
right to speculate on what those circumstances actually are though, because, . . . .well,  I'm not a Ginger.   

It's like they know their genes are defective and have to breed them out of existence!

Or, they are trying to poison the genepool with ginger blood!!!! :aaa:
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on August 20, 2011, 06:59:07 PM
It's an interesting mutation, and people's reaction to it is equally interesting... for many who do find it attractive, it's intensely attractive. For others, it's actually repellent. I wonder what the psychology and/or biology behind that is.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 20, 2011, 07:13:29 PM
Probably because it signals a whole bunch of recessive genes some of which may or may not complement your own good and or bad genes. Personally i think natural redhead females are hot as fuck but i think redheaded males are by and large comical looking with a few exceptions.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Kai on August 20, 2011, 07:43:19 PM
I find ginger attractive, if its well groomed and suits the person, but that's true of any hair color. <---Not a good barometer
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on August 20, 2011, 08:01:05 PM
I really dig redheads that are actual REDheads, without the orange hair and all the freckles.

Gingers, while not a complete turn-off, had better have a kickin' body.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on August 20, 2011, 08:19:48 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on August 20, 2011, 05:47:57 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/Udxxk.jpg)

All in one place...so much easier to eliminate...
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: BadBeast on August 20, 2011, 08:22:40 PM
(http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/ChuckFukmuk/6097.jpg)
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Don Coyote on August 20, 2011, 08:32:51 PM
FUCK YUO ALL :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!:
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 20, 2011, 08:35:59 PM
Hey look its a redheaded dude! Whatup firecrotch?
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Don Coyote on August 20, 2011, 08:37:38 PM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on August 20, 2011, 08:35:59 PM
Hey look its a redheaded dude! Whatup firecrotch?

I am going to destroy you. :argh!:
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nadezhda on August 20, 2011, 08:38:16 PM
I have a secret fetish for gingers.

If I found a tall ginger engineer, I would accidentally all over myself.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 20, 2011, 08:43:19 PM
Hear that coyote? Youre one third of the way to having nadezhda swoon over you.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Don Coyote on August 20, 2011, 08:44:47 PM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on August 20, 2011, 08:43:19 PM
Hear that coyote? Youre one third of the way to having nadezhda swoon over you.

I'm off the market. Besides my GF is half Irish and half Mexican. She would kill me. Painfully.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 20, 2011, 08:46:11 PM
True very true
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nadezhda on August 20, 2011, 08:46:36 PM
Ginger snuff pron?   :fap:
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Don Coyote on August 20, 2011, 08:47:07 PM
Quote from: Nadezhda on August 20, 2011, 08:46:36 PM
Ginger snuff pron?   :fap:

:kingmeh:
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 20, 2011, 08:47:28 PM
Thats too much even for bh!
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Don Coyote on August 20, 2011, 09:37:57 PM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on August 20, 2011, 08:47:28 PM
Thats too much even for bh!

Probably going to file her in the same box as corpsefucker and his bride.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on August 20, 2011, 09:54:14 PM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. link=topic=30010.ms 085033#msg1085033 date=1313816850
@badbeast- ta me maol anois.
@stelz- kinda. There is also a skin tone thing going on there though iirc. My dad does actually get mistaken for greek, morroccan and miscellaneous not irish until he talks.

Like the Thin Lizzy guy? I always wondered what they meant when they said he was black Irish.

ETA: Never mind. I read the rest of the posts, it's essentially meaningless.
:roll:
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 20, 2011, 10:25:06 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on August 20, 2011, 09:54:14 PM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. link=topic=30010.ms 085033#msg1085033 date=1313816850
@badbeast- ta me maol anois.
@stelz- kinda. There is also a skin tone thing going on there though iirc. My dad does actually get mistaken for greek, morroccan and miscellaneous not irish until he talks.

Like the Thin Lizzy guy? I always wondered what they meant when they said he was black Irish.

ETA: Never mind. I read the rest of the posts, it's essentially meaningless.
:roll:

Except that Phil Lynnott actually was a black Irish dude. I think his father was a Brazilian of African descent.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: BadBeast on August 21, 2011, 01:17:15 AM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on August 20, 2011, 10:25:06 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on August 20, 2011, 09:54:14 PM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. link=topic=30010.ms 085033#msg1085033 date=1313816850
@badbeast- ta me maol anois.
@stelz- kinda. There is also a skin tone thing going on there though iirc. My dad does actually get mistaken for greek, morroccan and miscellaneous not irish until he talks.

Like the Thin Lizzy guy? I always wondered what they meant when they said he was black Irish.

ETA: Never mind. I read the rest of the posts, it's essentially meaningless.
:roll:

Except that Phil Lynnott actually was a black Irish dude. I think his father was a Brazilian of African descent.
His Mother was Irish, and his Father was some Brazilian semen.
And he wrote some well snappy lyrics in his time.   

"Tonight, there's going to be a Jailbreak, somewhere in this town"

Orly? Well, I don't know if I should be telling you this, but it's probably going to be . . . . . . . in the Jail?  :lulz:

Tragically avoidable death too. He was booked into Clouds House Re-hab & De-tox centre, to do his Heroin cluck so he could be up together enough for the Lizzy tour later in the year. But he OD'd a couple of days before he was due to be admitted. (It's really quite common for people to have a 'bye bye' binge before going into rehab) Unfortunately, instead of taking him to a Hospital to get him stabilised, whoever it was took him  to Clouds, (Who didn't even have any medical staff on at night back then either. Let alone the dialysis machine he needed while his liver cooled off )

by the time they realised you can't actually just re-hab someon'es liver better with a bit of group therapy and a big hug, he was as dead as a Dando. And Gary Moore's solo career got a chance to flourish. Personally, I think Thin Lizzy would have shrivelled up and died anyway as soon as the NWOBHM started to roll.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 21, 2011, 01:27:19 AM
Quite possible though you can certainly hear the beginnings of nwobhm in some of their songs. They might have gone with the flow.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: BadBeast on August 21, 2011, 01:31:15 AM
Possibly. I think they had a much more edgy sound than anything out of Sheffield though. Better.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 21, 2011, 01:34:39 AM
Who was out of sheffield (aside from cradle of filth)?
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: BadBeast on August 21, 2011, 01:36:52 AM
Saxon, I think. For a start. *gags*
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 21, 2011, 01:42:19 AM
Hey saxons alright. You cant take them seriously at all but denim and leather is quite an enjoyable tune
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: BadBeast on August 21, 2011, 01:43:59 AM
And Wheels of Steel, I suppose.

But that was about the time I went off Metal completely, and got into Motorhead, and Punk.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 21, 2011, 01:45:36 AM
Actually im fond of  their album metalhead. Especially how they pronounce conquistador :lulz:
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: BadBeast on August 21, 2011, 01:49:27 AM
Yeah, but when Biff started with the big 80's hair, and the Lycra, It all lost it's charm for me.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: BadBeast on August 21, 2011, 01:52:03 AM
Then Zep split, Bon Scott died, and Ian Gillan started singing for Sabbath, and I thought "fuck this noise" and got into anarcho-crusty punk instaed.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: BadBeast on August 21, 2011, 01:54:11 AM
And LSD.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 21, 2011, 03:00:26 AM
:lulz: well that too. I dunno i get a kick out of biff byford. And wes waddle
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on August 21, 2011, 04:53:46 AM
Quote from: BadBeast on August 21, 2011, 01:52:03 AM
Then Zep split, Bon Scott died, and Ian Gillan started singing for Sabbath, and I thought "fuck this noise" and got into anarcho-crusty punk instaed.

This is probably the wrong place to point out that that was Sabbath's 2nd best album.

Mob Rules is their best.


Fuck Ozzy.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on August 21, 2011, 04:54:29 AM
Also, no mention of the immortal Hawkwind?

WTF guys.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 21, 2011, 11:27:53 AM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on August 21, 2011, 04:54:29 AM
Also, no mention of the immortal Hawkwind?

WTF guys.

Huh, you're right. Usually BadBeast would have mentioned them at least in passing by now.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: BadBeast on August 22, 2011, 02:10:08 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on August 21, 2011, 04:53:46 AM
Quote from: BadBeast on August 21, 2011, 01:52:03 AM
Then Zep split, Bon Scott died, and Ian Gillan started singing for Sabbath, and I thought "fuck this noise" and got into anarcho-crusty punk instaed.

This is probably the wrong place to point out that that was Sabbath's 2nd best album.

Mob Rules is their best.


Fuck Ozzy.
It may have been their second best album without Ozzy, I don't know, I was listening to "Blizzard of Oz".

Also, fuck Ian Gillan, wasn't she the fat chick who used to sing for Purple?
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on August 22, 2011, 03:26:32 PM
:spittake:

Yep, that's the one.
Title: Re: English is crazy talk.
Post by: BadBeast on August 22, 2011, 05:59:28 PM
I may have given the impression that I hate Marillion, and I don't. I just felt horribly let down and disappointed by them. For many, many years. But it's OK now, I'm over it. And if I hadn't had that Marillion phase, I would never have discovered the exquisitely beautiful and unique Scottish talent that was the SAHB.  It's just sad that he was dead before I ever got to know of him. Still, better late than never, so Fuck you, one eye! This is for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-nosdSTqEE