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So essentially, the enemy of my enemy is not my friend, he's just another moronic, entitled turd in the bucket.

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A better idea to sell to Dan Brown

Started by Mangrove, May 21, 2007, 11:14:42 PM

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Cain

I'll have to get my copy of the Da Vinci Code out when I go home this weekend, then.  And some Derrida, LSD and caffeine pills, just to get me in the right frame of mind.

Triple Zero

Quote from: Mangrove on May 22, 2007, 09:31:44 PM
o n e d l f t s g o i n
s y e i z g a e e o b n
e t s y u u r l s i n t
n e t i s t u t w a h n
e e e h l i r u e n d h
e e e y n s w d c o f f


above is a sample from the upcoming book 'the zohar cypher'. i took the opening page of the zohar and counted every 12th letter. (12 because that's the number of men controlling the world bank).

the above grid is 6 X 12. (6 x 12 = 72 = the number of names of god according to the qabbalistic shemhamephorash).

when examined closely, it clearly shows that hacking & the internet is essential to the plot of the story. (see below)

o n e d l f t s g o i n
s y e i z g a e e o b n
e t s y u u r l s i n t
n e t i s t u t w a h n
e e e h l i r u e n d h
e e e y n s w d c o f f

reconstructed: one, go in. seize urls in net. is end of...[off?]

end of the world, obviously.

somehow the message got interrupted!
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

LMNO

Be sure to structure the character development arc based upon the Tree of Life.

Suu

I admit, I've never taken his books seriously.

Good for him. They're entertaining, and you may learn a thing or two, but the fact that they cause so much fucking controversy is beyond me. It's fucking fiction, goddamnit.

He needs a disclaimer in the front of all his work:

"If you're Catholic, Jewish, Freemason, Facist, Neocon, attended Bob Jones University, close-minded, overanalyze, have no imagination, or are otherwise a prude American. Do not read this book."

There you go. Problems solved.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Cain

I demand adding "intelligent, knowledgeable about history or enjoy decent writing" to that list, too.  Because he pisses those people off too (so I'm told).

LMNO

I have to admit, his writing was pretty crappy.

Mangrove

i think i'll call the chief protagonist 'bran down'
What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

Cain

Will he be a failed airport thriller hack writer?

LMNO

Ok, someone has to give me $20,000 so I can take a few month soff and write this thing.

Cain

Every cliche ever must be used in creating the main characters.  Remember that!

Also, speak to your publishers, LMNO.

You do have publishers, right?

LMNO

If I did, I wouldn't be talking you you knobwads from an insurance company computer, don'cha think?

Mangrove

Quote from: Cain on May 23, 2007, 06:25:36 PM
Will he be a failed airport thriller hack writer?

yes.

i think that he'll be working on a manuscript and at the 11th hour, the publishers drop the book.

they (publishers) fob mr down off with some lame ass excuse. but the real reason is that they've scanned it with some thuper therial thoftware that shows his book contains qabalistically significant evidence of their ties to the world bank and the quorum of 12 who control teh whole world.

oh yeah..and there's some nudity in chapter 4.
What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

Cain

Quote from: Mangrove on May 23, 2007, 06:29:53 PM
Quote from: Cain on May 23, 2007, 06:25:36 PM
Will he be a failed airport thriller hack writer?

yes.

i think that he'll be working on a manuscript and at the 11th hour, the publishers drop the book.

they (publishers) fob mr down off with some lame ass excuse. but the real reason is that they've scanned it with some thuper therial thoftware that shows his book contains qabalistically significant evidence of their ties to the world bank and the quorum of 12 who control teh whole world.

oh yeah..and there's some nudity in chapter 4.

Needs a sexy Mossad sidekick.  Who will be played in the film by Natalie Portman

P3nT4gR4m

Who will be playing her in the book?

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Mangrove

Quote from: SillyCybin on May 23, 2007, 06:33:11 PM
Who will be playing her in the book?

a woman who looks an awful lot like natalie portman.
What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.