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Hi There

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, October 05, 2012, 06:55:55 PM

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P3nT4gR4m

Hi there, I'm the kid. I play up, I act out. If it was asnother time, another place they might call me ADHD or something but that hasn't been invented yet so really I'm just an annoying little fuck. I get beaten up a lot. My mom left with my sister. I blame myself, even though I'm too young to really know what that means. My dad beat the shit out me again today. I got in a fight at school to make me feel better.

Hi there, I'm the teenager. I make nihillists look like hippies. I got ambition. I want to sell my soul to the devil. I want to kill a man and get away with it. I want to be famous. I want to blow myself up. There's a frightened little kid inside me but he's locked up safe and sound. He can't hurt me. I can smell burning. Oh fuck, I think that's my mind going up in smoke.

Hi there, I'm the young man. I'm in hell. Not some metaphorical hell, like you woke up late and spilled coffee down your last clean shirt and you yell "I'm in hell" in a pathetic whiny little voice. No. I'm in actual hell. My mind's on fire. I can't see anything but shifting visions of bliss and terror, roiling out the smoke and flames. I don't know who I am. I think who I am might have burned away. It's comfortable here in hell. I'm not sure I want to leave. The outside scares me.

Hi there, I'm Cybin. I'm the guy who built himself from the burnt out ruins of the kid, the teenager and the young man. There wasn't much working to begin with, the fire wiped out most of it. All that was left was the lizard-like core that knows how to eat and how to draw it's fingers back from the flames. A few other bits and pieces, enough to shamble by whilst the reconstruction work went on in earnest.

Hi, I'm P3nT. I'm the finished result - a work in progress. I polished and tweaked and reinforced and pruned and nurtured and programmed and deleted. I'm still doing it. This thing is like a car, or a house. You can while away hours, days, weeks, months, years, just tinkering around, replacing broken bits with better bits, maintenance, restoration, upgrades, rewiring. You don't like something? Let me know. Maybe I agree with you. Stick around, I'll fix it but don't take that as a given. Maybe I'm aware of it. maybe I like it that way.

I never said I was building someone nice  :evil:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

EK WAFFLR

Hi there, I'm a little boy who has just moved with his mom to her new boyfriend. I get to watch as the boyfriend beats the shit out of my mother every day, and who is lucky enough to be locked into closets for up to twelve hours when mommy's not around. I also get to witness when my mother finally gets enough and topples a large bookshelf over the boyfriend.

Hi there, I'm the new kid in a small town (pop:250) in rural Norway. It's one of those towns where you will be looked down upon if you're not native. I get my ass kicked every day by kids up to ten years older than me for eleven years.

Hi there, I'm a the new teenager in a small suburb of the nation's capital. For the first time in my life I meet people I can actually call good friends.
I'm the kind of teenager who deals with his father's death by being exceedingly clowny, and I think of sillier and sillier things to do to get people to laugh.

Hi there, I'm Slesk. I live in the capital, and  I dress like a used car salesman/carny, listen to black metal, Al Jolson and Irving Berlin. I have just broken up with my fiancée and I drink. A lot. Actually, I spend my entire student loan on booze in a month. I travel around the country as roadie and photographer for various black metal bands, who also drinks a lot. I am more or less constantly inebriated.

Hi there, I have moved out of the capital again, and live in a large house in a mining town. I am at an all-time low, barely managing to get out of the house to buy groceries. In a couple of months I will meet a girl who will help me get back on my feet, build me up, then she tries to break me back down with jealousy, trying to control every aspect of my life, down to and including who my friends are. this all ends when she stabs me in the stomach with a bread knife. I will later find out that she was constantly cheating on me.

Hi, I work in the porn industry, for a full six months. I try to rationalize what I do, telling myself sweet lies and Happy Hooker stories, but I can't keep up that facade for long. I don't sleep we'll at night, if at all.  Add to the misery of the women involved a healthy amount of dealings with Eastern European mafia. My boss tries to call out a hit on me for leaving, but ends up in jail, luckily. I've been emotionally numb since the incident with my knife wielding ex, but I'm starting to come out of that particular shell. I move in with my grandmother to, yet again, get back on my feet. This enables me to record and release music. I stay with my grandmother for almost three years.

Hi, I'm The Waffler. I am happy, even though I still suffer from the occasional severe depression. My music is going well, I have, the last year met so many new people who have grown to be my closest friends, people whom I'd take a fucking bullet for. I still can't sleep at night, but that's okay, too.

Hi there, I'm Marius. I am the product of all these things. I am at the moment mostly focusing on The Waffler's perspective, as that helps me get through the day better. I still drink a lot, but I rarely. Get drunk. I play my ukulele badly, and I am mostly content with my existence.
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


Horribly Oscillating Assbasket of Deliciousness
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Q. G. Pennyworth

Hi, my name's [REDACTED], I'm smart and I'm pretty and I like playing with the boys even though I always have to play April when we're Ninja Turtles. My dad works on computers and my mom just had another baby (there's three of us now). I invited everyone to my birthday party and we ruined the benches with our pretty shoes. My best friend is Adam, he's deaf. I'm too smart for my age, and I know it.

My name's the same but I'm older now, I read all the time and I don't know what's happening to me. I only have five friends, now. Melissa moved to a different school and now I'm the youngest person in my entire grade. Jessica dumped me when she made friends with the angry girl with two different colored eyes and short blond hair. She gets in fights with the teachers. I can make paper cranes smaller than a centimeter across, but they're not as valuable as the plastic jewels we pry out of the costume jewelry in the art room. I hate my teacher. She has short dark hair and made us learn about skunk cabbage and slugs and keeps a preserved puffer fish in the cabinet on top of the glass slides and it's not even in a container or anything. She makes us listen to Enya while we clean up. Emily is leaving the school because she gets bullied for being fat.

My name is [REDACTED], now, I got it from Garbage who insists that we call her something else now because her mother complained but it was only ever short for "Garbage Disposal" on account of her eating habits and not a judgment on her and I hate her mom's lesbian partner because she's got ugly tattoos and looks at me like she think's I'm garbage in that sense. I have three friends now. I write MOO! in tiny letters all over my sneakers and try to impress my chorus teacher with how RANDOM I am. I stalk a boy in school with blond hair and blue eyes. He plays soccer, and he lived in Germany when he was a kid. He dances with another girl and punches me so hard I have a bruise for a month. I don't know how to put this feeling away. I spend hours in chat rooms leading older men on and laughing at them for having the audacity to be attracted to me. I never use my name or give them pictures. I'm writing a novel and I'm terrified I won't finish it before I'm an adult and I change again. I don't want to grow up, ever.

I'm the Pretty Nerd on Campus, now. I lie all the time. The only clothes I've bought for myself are costumes, and I pretend to be different people at least two nights a week. I make out with all the guys. I'm crazy and I'm falling apart and I can't handle relationships or school or work and everything is on the brink of collapse for six months before I finally get a running start on the cliff and go over. My dad is in the emergency room crying. No one understands why this happened.

I am "The Crazy Pretty Girl Who Betrays Everyone" now. It looks like two squiggles, one sprouting a spiral on one side with a little circle floating underneath and a curly lightning bolt going through the middle. This was probably not the best name to take. When "Honored Gossiper" puts his hand down my pants while we're making out and I push him away because after everything that just went down I'm not ready for that yet, he decides I'm too crazy to date and will never kiss me again. I date his housemate. I want to be normal and healthy. My mom had me when she was 20.

I'm The Pregnant One now. Different boyfriend, we were together for a year before it happened. We let people think it was an accident. I'm six months in when we get married. We move in with the Gossiper, because he's lost his housemates and we can't stay in the neighborhood with the sex offender and the three bedroom apartment already housing five people. I can't handle being at home alone all day. I'm too far from the buses and I don't want to talk to the neighbors who are all a decade older than me and I'm barely eating anything and the house is freezing because he refuses to turn on the electric heat and I can't chop wood for the furnace while I'm holding a newborn. We have a falling out and he goes off on his own; our little nuclear family moves into a shoebox apartment.

I'm "The Crazy One Who Tries to Uphold Her Ideals" now, I think it's a much better name. I badger the husband into having a second kid, even though we can't afford the one. She needs a sibling. We argue about circumcision, and everything else. I'm not taking care of the house and things get kind of gross. The baby doesn't fix things. We're falling apart. I have support with the kids, now, and I'm not such a bad fucking mother anymore. I'm making things again. All I want is to go away, and for it not to be my fault somehow. I would rather be with anyone but him. It's not his fault.

Hi, I'm Kate. I yell at buildings and wear heels to hide my real height. I am suddenly competent. I meet someone with the same name as that blond boy from high school, but he doesn't hate me. We talk all the time. He's divorced, he has a daughter. He finds my real name. Everything is my fault, the divorce is quick. We take a stupid risk and move in together. He's the most amazing person I've ever met. I have a job now, something better than office monkey work. The kids are getting interesting.

I don't have a name anymore. I used to many, and now none of them stick. My identity is a fluid thing, shifting from one social situation to another. I have to introduce my friend from three names ago as "the guy who uses my real name and it's weird" to the folks who didn't realize I'd given them a fake name for months. I'm helping to change the world. I still don't know who that person is in the mirror.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Wow... heavy stuff, you guys. But good. Goosebumps.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."