Dispatch from the European Front vol. 1

[Efrim]

This entry is composed because of and fueled by my rampaging hatred for the dirty pig fucker who stole my journal (in Barcelona) and my violent anger at the Swiss Franc and the city of Geneva. For those of you who have never been, let this be a warning, stay away from this terribly evil capitalist place. The following story is my observations after 1 and a half day in Geneva-the city of dirty money and automated humanity.

I arrived in Geneva to an immaculate train station....so far so good. I'll put up a later entry on the madness of crisscrossing a continet by train but it will suffice to say that you feel good to step out of one of those compartments and into a clean place. I had to report directly to my friend Joel the Hasidic ninja to get some of my Euro's converted to Swiss Francs, which I will say is an almost comical money. I find it very hard to take a neon yellow bank note seriously. I got about 75 dollers worth of Franc and Joel just laughed. "you think that will last? Here?" "Yeah", I said, "why the hell not?". Joel flashed a smile threw a smoke bomb and ran off down a side street. I soon figured out what he had meant as I stepped onto the main street and looked at the horrible prices all around me.

At least in London they were quite open about the fact that the pound was an excuse to violently gang-rape any who would dare trespass on their lands. Here, they act like 8 dollers (after conversion) for a meal at Burger King is perfectly logical and not in the least offensive. Who do these people think they are? Granted, they've inherited one of the most beautiful plots of land ever envisioned, but for the love of Pete Sampras, not even that gives a man the right to charge 7 dollers for a happy meal. Not to mention that they do not even make use of their beautiful plot of land. Their utter neglect for the natural beauty that exists just outside the city limits is mind-boggiling. No effort has been made to so much as stick a few trees between the glaring neons advertising 2 or 3 options of private banking per building (5 or 6 options for major buildings).

Usually renting bomb-proof reinforced concrete basements is a fairly cheap way to travel as they tend to not be very accomidating. In this city of the damned though, you´d think I had just rented a 5 star room. I blew my entire cash supply on that room and swore not to withdraw any more money out of sheer spite. The burden of my food bill now fell upon the horde, but they were in no position to spot me for anything having just paid 50 francs each to sleep on the floor of a dirty YMCA. Luckily, we were able to cause a great commotion at a local Starbucks and escaped with several small bags of bagels and one can of Fanta. None of us would eat well until we got to Rome.

This city represents a supreme utilitarianism...the only decoration allowed here is the kind that points you in the direction of the nearest mutual fund investor. This is a dark and sinister city. The only people here are the bussinessmen who fill Geneva to the brim, and since they are creatures that only live from nine to five there is no nightlife in this city to make you forget about the dirty money that hangs heavy in the air. I searched for hours looking for a bar opened past 12...it was all in vain. They don´t even have the decency to give you the option of drowning out the images, you have to sit right through it like A Clockwork Orange.

As you walk the downtown you notice that the streets reek of embaling fluid from the poor fools who laid themselves down for a quick buck and/or got trampeled in someone elses mad pursuit of a bank account large enough to make even the Swiss authorities take note. The lucky ones constantly look behind their sholders, the rest line the streets utterly broken, they are the cobblestones and asphalt in this city, these streets are paved with the folly of greedy men.....and there is always a need to expand the roads in this city of ruthless commerce. The banks are no joke here, they control this city as if they were a mistriss holding incriminating photos in front of her lover. People don't talk about the banks for the same reason people didn't talk about Nero in Rome; but even that is a poor comparison, all Nero could do was torture you to death. I imagine the banks can do far worse. It's a good thing for the Swiss that they have other places they can be proud of. If I could offer the citizens of Geneva any advice I would tell them to flee this vulgar temple of greed and live in tiny shanties high in the alps for the duration of their natural lives as a means of penance. Let the neons cast their siren song of bargin-basement finance rates down upon a ghost town. Yes. It must be so.

Geneva is the future, I´m glad my travels brought me here. It was the least enjoyable destination on my trip thus far, but perhaps the most neccesary. The people here are the living dead, their existence is dependent solely on stock market futures and currency exchange rates. it could easily be anywhere. This is the enemy of my growing European horde. It is the enemy of all of us. Before this stop my horde existed for reasons so vague that indulgence and madness had become our end in addition to being our means. Now we have a purpose and a goal. Geneva is the future if we don´t wise up. Fully automated human beings going through life with all the zest and enthusiasm of a conveyer belt. The European horde exists to save some of these human machines and to shut the ones that can´t be saved down (of coarse, they also exist to cover my ass, but they don´t know that...).

The next day we got our things together and after pulling Jamie that dancer out of her   K-Hole we hopped the first train to Rome. I imagine this will be intercepted shortly by the secret police at the Capitol One building in downtown Geneva and I'll spend the next fifty years playing monopoly and being instructed at gun point on the inherent virtue of free-market capitalism.....but at least I know I've said my peace for the moment.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I warned you about the Swiss.  Those screwheads are all the same.

[Den Sorte Dragen]

An Austrian?

[Efrim]

An Austrian?

Afraid not friend. Just a vagabond spending a few nights in the Austrian capital on my way around Europe. I hail from the same parts as Roger, that is, Illinois.

[Efrim]

I warned you about the Swiss.  Those screwheads are all the same.

No warning could have prepared me for the horrors of that city. You would have wept openly Roger.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I warned you about the Swiss.  Those screwheads are all the same.

No warning could have prepared me for the horrors of that city. You would have wept openly Roger.

No, I would never have gone to that hideous place.

You are a pilgrim in a dark land, Efrim.  Get out while you can.  If you're still there at nightfall, you stand a very good chance of being abducted for their loathsome rituals.

[Efrim]

No, I would never have gone to that hideous place.

You are a pilgrim in a dark land, Efrim.  Get out while you can.  If you're still there at nightfall, you stand a very good chance of being abducted for their loathsome rituals.

Quite. I´m out now, but that certainly would have been the case. In truth, it probabley would have happend sooner as people here like to be home sipping brandy and beating their wives by 7. The select members of the horde who are with me on this leg of the journey are as fanatical in their defense of members as a bunch of coked-up hells angels, and our safety exists only in numbers. All our paranoia is very necescary though. After all, we are as Joel has called us; we are the Tzaddikim. and by taking care of ourselves we take care of the world.

[Den Sorte Dragen]

An Austrian?

Afraid not friend. Just a vagabond spending a few nights in the Austrian capital on my way around Europe. I hail from the same parts as Roger, that is, Illinois.

And I was looking forward to talk about the Prater, Schwarz-Blau, Haider, Ottakringer beer, Wurstsemmel,.....

[Efrim]

An Austrian?

Afraid not friend. Just a vagabond spending a few nights in the Austrian capital on my way around Europe. I hail from the same parts as Roger, that is, Illinois.

And I was looking forward to talk about the Prater, Schwarz-Blau, Haider, Ottakringer beer, Wurstsemmel,.....

well, the closet I get to that criteria is that my tram line goes toward Ottakringer after it goes past the place I´m staying.

[mobbing]

I warned you about the Swiss.  Those screwheads are all the same.

yes we are all the same I tell you!!

[mobbing]

I live here in Toffen, Switzerland and in this little town (about 2500 people) it is not as bad as it is in the cities. but yes the banks have the power and everything is horrible expencive for people who don't work here.

I'll show you a pic of toffen when I don't forget it

[Anonymous]

I live here in Toffen, Switzerland and in this little town (about 2500 people) it is not as bad as it is in the cities. but yes the banks have the power and everything is horrible expencive for people who don't work here.

I'll show you a pic of toffen when I don't forget it

Like I said, It´s a good thing the Swiss have other places to be proud of. I wish I had some time to explore the country side (where all the humans live), the train ride there was incredible for scenery but Geneva was just terrible. Maybe I will yet get there.

I was somewhat hopping you would inform me of a redeeming quality I had missed in the city, but I guess not.

[Efrim]

that last one was me

[mobbing]

I don't know much about geneva. I've not been there many times because I hate the french language.
Anyway bern is not that bad and thun is even better. thun has some kind of a nightlife when you know the good bars

[Efrim]

yeah, the French...I kinda got the impression that French people with dirty money were really running the show, as opposed to Swiss. Not that I have a grudge against the French or anything, but that was how it appeared.