ZEN

[Lister]

Danone is trying to push it's new drinkyoghurt "Zen" to the general public over here nowadays.  Big posters line the streets, commercials on TV making you believe INNER PEACE is at hand at the mere OPENING OF THE BOTTLE, ...

So they were handing out free samples at the trainstation during the rushhour, so I thought FINALLY MY CHANCE FOR INNER PEACE!!
I grabbed the bottle from the nice smiling girl, and anxiously fiddled with the bloody plastic/aluminum thingy they always glue to the top.
Of course they are needed because otherwise anyone could have put anything IN there.

Finally having REMOVED (in bits) the anooying hygiene thingie from the bottle *the bottles are about fist-sized and round, and sorta resemble those clich?© bombs, with the bottleneck being the bit the fuse sticks out.  it is quite sturdy plastic, so it might make decent casing for a small home-made bomb.*, and took a small gulp.
It was just plain peach drinkyoghurt, but with bits of something (peach hopefully) in it.

PLAIN PEACH YOGHURT!

I gave it the benefit of a doubt, INNER PEACE might very well be peach-flavored (thank god it isn't tomatoes then).  So while waiting for inner peace to come, I might as well finish the botlle while walking down the stairs to the platform...

but...

IT WAS ALREADY EMPTY!!!1

One gulp was all it took!

I took another look at the bottle and thought "yeah, NOW it's zen...  They should have given these away empty in the first place", and thus I was enlightened as was foretold by the prophecy!

Being enlightened,  I calmed down, waited for the INNER PEACE to come.  
All I got was yoghurt aftertaste.
I didn't instantly relax like the commercials promised.  Even though it WAS DURING THE EVENING THAT I DRANK IT!!
I didn't feel like like kicking of my shoes and flopping on the couch.
I felt like getting more yoghurt!
MORE!

But I was already at the bottom of the stairs, and the freebies were at the top...
I instantly dropped into inner contemplation upon my goals in the immediate future, and asked myself:
Do I really want more yoghurt?

I felt ripped off!
It wasn't worth the trouble I went to to get that bloody plastic aluminum super glued on fucking bottlecap off!

One lesson is learned:
WHEN ON THE PATH TO INNER PEACE, YOGHURT ISN'T THE PATH TO TAKE.

I had an email at work today, where someone asked me permission to do something  !!
Each of the sentences ended with two spaces and two exclamation marks !!

THIS IS NOT A WORK OF FICTION

I replied likewise with two sentences each ending with two spaces and two exclamation marks, letting him know in simpel layman's terms that his request was DENIED plus the reason why !!
He then forwarded the mail to his supervisor to complain that I didn't want to give him permission !!
Two sentences each ending in two spaces and two exclamation marks !!
His supervisor gives his thumbs-up, and he proudly sends this back to me !!

Two sentences, two spaces at the end, two exclamation marks !!
TWO SENTENCES TWO SPACES TWO EXCLAMATION MARKS !!

Give me what I want, look at the previous mail !!
I didn't hesitate in sending my reply, two sentences two spaces two exclamation marks !!
Request DENIED, gibberish of supervisor IRRELEVANT !!

the next mail came directly from his supervisor telling very soberly without punctuation that he will take full responsibility if i just grant the request so now i forwarded the mail to my supervisor to ask if requests are granted if the people in question take responsibility

I am still waiting for my supervisor's reply, but I hope it's a REQUEST DENIED !!
I already asked for a huge red DENIED stamp to use at work !!
It was DENIED !!

Today a terrible blow to freedom has befallen this country.
As of today, it is illegal to buy alcohol (21¬? or lower) when younger than 16.
As of today, it is illegal to buy cigarettes when younger than 16.
As of today, it is illegal to get a piercing when younger than 16.

NO BOOZE, NO SMOKES, NO PIERCINGS.

Roughly 75% of all the 10-16 year olds will lose most of their prime activities!
It's the only thing that keeps them going !!

Why won't anyone ever think of the children??

[Iron Sulfide]

because the children are lil shits. just give em something shiney and they'll
be fine  !!

[MedeoPlusPlus]

because the children are lil shits.

And the rest of us are any better because........?

[mobbing]

because the children are lil shits.

And the rest of us are any better because........?

we at least want some LEDs glowing

[Bella]

Your story about what happened at work today makes me want to bang my head on the desk  !!

And the yogurt incident is almost as bad, although it only made me want to rant about advertising as opposed to screaming  !!

[Lister]

Your story about what happened at work today makes me want to bang my head on the desk !!

Well, if his complaints about my decisions (in the best interests of the company of course) worsen, I'm switching my replies to 1337 !!

STFU n00b U R TEH PWNED !!

[Bella]

That should do it  !!

Okay, now I feel better just thinking about you writing back to him in 1337  !!

[Lister]

I'll probably do it anonymously then !!

I am glad to have a job where I don't have to take shit from people, and getting fired over this would just be dumb  !!

[Bella]

I'm glad you don't have to take it, too  !!

This kind of stuff is why I work for myself now  !!

[illusion]

::Bangs her head on the desk because she does have to take this kind of shit at work::

Give 'em hell on my behalf, Lister.

[Lister]

And the cool thing is...
My supervisor tells me I'm too lenient with the requests I get, that I have to "tighten the vise" a bit more...  


It's worth the stress...

[Bella]

That's very cool indeed.  

[Horab Fibslager]

zen is discipline of oneness in repetition, not ice creams koans and yogurt.
zen is discipline of oneness in repetition, not ice creams koans and yogurt.
zen is discipline of oneness in repetition, not ice creams koans and yogurt.
zen is discipline of oneness in repetition, not ice creams koans and yogurt.
zen is discipline of oneness in repetition, not ice creams koans and yogurt.
zen is discipline of oneness in repetition, not ice creams koans and yogurt.
zen is discipline of oneness in repetition, not ice creams koans and yogurt.
zen is discipline of oneness in repetition, not ice creams koans and yogurt.
zen is discipline of oneness in repetition, not ice creams koans and yogurt.
zen is discipline of oneness in repetition, not ice creams koans and yogurt.
zen is discipline of oneness in repetition, not ice creams koans and yogurt.
zen is discipline of oneness in repetition, not ice creams koans and yogurt.
zen is discipline of oneness in repetition, not ice creams koans and yogurt.
zen is discipline of oneness in repetition, not ice creams koans and yogurt.
zen is discipline of oneness in repetition, not ice creams koans and yogurt.
zen is discipline of oneness in repetition, not ice creams koans and yogurt.
zen is discipline of oneness in repetition, not ice creams koans and yogurt.
zen is discipline of oneness in repetition, not ice creams koans and yogurt.
zen is discipline of oneness in repetition, not ice creams koans and yogurt.
zen is discipline of oneness in repetition, not ice creams koans and yogurt.
zen is discipline of oneness in repetition, not ice creams koans and yogurt.
zen is discipline of oneness in repetition, not ice creams koans and yogurt.



i learned that in teh factory.
jsut get yourself high

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Danone is trying to push it's new drinkyoghurt "Zen" to the general public over here nowadays.  Big posters line the streets, commercials on TV making you believe INNER PEACE is at hand at the mere OPENING OF THE BOTTLE, ...

That's been possible since the dawn of civilization.

[MedeoPlusPlus]

Danone is trying to push it's new drinkyoghurt "Zen" to the general public over here nowadays.  Big posters line the streets, commercials on TV making you believe INNER PEACE is at hand at the mere OPENING OF THE BOTTLE, ...

That's been possible since the dawn of civilization.

Civilization dawned?

I must've missed that...