okCupid

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Congrats: you can be a fucktoy if you wish!


(sardonic)

I'm tempted to do it and show up wrapped in latex with one of those anime masks on. But I think the point would be lost and I'd end up in the middle of a middle-aged bukkake.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Today on okCupid : CPD gets hit on by bi married women looking for threesomes with their husbands . . . who want me to put them on speed dial and give them special ringtones for spontaneous 'romantic opportunities'.

I love it when these people act like you should be flattered they asked.

I love it when they get offended that you don't want to drop everything for a 'personal, in-person interview' after you politely decline their generous offer. And they either 1. offer you money or 2. call you a 'fake bi bitch' and stomp off in a pout.

okCupid is never-ending hilarity. I'm tempted to put a picture up of me in ICP clown make-up just to see what happens.

I did that. Tip: it affects nothing.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Today on okCupid : CPD gets hit on by bi married women looking for threesomes with their husbands . . . who want me to put them on speed dial and give them special ringtones for spontaneous 'romantic opportunities'.

I love it when these people act like you should be flattered they asked.

I love it when they get offended that you don't want to drop everything for a 'personal, in-person interview' after you politely decline their generous offer. And they either 1. offer you money or 2. call you a 'fake bi bitch' and stomp off in a pout.

okCupid is never-ending hilarity. I'm tempted to put a picture up of me in ICP clown make-up just to see what happens.

I did that. Tip: it affects nothing.

Damn!

[Junkenstein]

Congrats: you can be a fucktoy if you wish!


(sardonic)

I'm tempted to do it and show up wrapped in latex with one of those anime masks on. But I think the point would be lost and I'd end up in the middle of a middle-aged bukkake.

....what the hell were you exactly invited to here?

Basically they're looking for a fuck-toy. I thought about showing up as a blow-up doll. :P

Ah.

I have no idea whether to feel proud, dense or some combination of the two.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Today on okCupid : CPD gets hit on by bi married women looking for threesomes with their husbands . . . who want me to put them on speed dial and give them special ringtones for spontaneous 'romantic opportunities'.

I love it when these people act like you should be flattered they asked.

I love it when they get offended that you don't want to drop everything for a 'personal, in-person interview' after you politely decline their generous offer. And they either 1. offer you money or 2. call you a 'fake bi bitch' and stomp off in a pout.

okCupid is never-ending hilarity. I'm tempted to put a picture up of me in ICP clown make-up just to see what happens.

I did that. Tip: it affects nothing.

Damn!

The most stunning part was how few people mentioned it.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Congrats: you can be a fucktoy if you wish!


(sardonic)

I'm tempted to do it and show up wrapped in latex with one of those anime masks on. But I think the point would be lost and I'd end up in the middle of a middle-aged bukkake.

....what the hell were you exactly invited to here?

Basically they're looking for a fuck-toy. I thought about showing up as a blow-up doll. :P

Ah.

I have no idea whether to feel proud, dense or some combination of the two.

:P Whatever works. I ended up linking this one couple to Starship's selection of inflat-a-dates.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Today on okCupid : CPD gets hit on by bi married women looking for threesomes with their husbands . . . who want me to put them on speed dial and give them special ringtones for spontaneous 'romantic opportunities'.

I love it when these people act like you should be flattered they asked.

I love it when they get offended that you don't want to drop everything for a 'personal, in-person interview' after you politely decline their generous offer. And they either 1. offer you money or 2. call you a 'fake bi bitch' and stomp off in a pout.

okCupid is never-ending hilarity. I'm tempted to put a picture up of me in ICP clown make-up just to see what happens.

I did that. Tip: it affects nothing.

Damn!

The most stunning part was how few people mentioned it.

Well shit. Maybe I should just take a picture of a blow-up doll's head and use that on my profile instead. :P

Although the X-Men fan wants to set up a Marvel movie date, that could be cool. And Beardy McMusician has deigned to forgive me ICP. Feeling really special about that. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Today on okCupid : CPD gets hit on by bi married women looking for threesomes with their husbands . . . who want me to put them on speed dial and give them special ringtones for spontaneous 'romantic opportunities'.

I love it when these people act like you should be flattered they asked.

I love it when they get offended that you don't want to drop everything for a 'personal, in-person interview' after you politely decline their generous offer. And they either 1. offer you money or 2. call you a 'fake bi bitch' and stomp off in a pout.

okCupid is never-ending hilarity. I'm tempted to put a picture up of me in ICP clown make-up just to see what happens.

I did that. Tip: it affects nothing.

Damn!

The most stunning part was how few people mentioned it.

Well shit. Maybe I should just take a picture of a blow-up doll's head and use that on my profile instead. :P

Although the X-Men fan wants to set up a Marvel movie date, that could be cool. And Beardy McMusician has deigned to forgive me ICP. Feeling really special about that. 

How generous of him!  and yes, you should totally make your pics all just a bunch of shots of blow-up dolls.

[UB]

So, keeps you up all night and makes you pray for death?

Haha. Omg. Such encounters are what we hide from in the dark of the night.

Today on okCupid : CPD gets hit on by bi married women looking for threesomes with their husbands . . . who want me to put them on speed dial and give them special ringtones for spontaneous 'romantic opportunities'.

I love it when these people act like you should be flattered they asked.

I love it when they get offended that you don't want to drop everything for a 'personal, in-person interview' after you politely decline their generous offer. And they either 1. offer you money or 2. call you a 'fake bi bitch' and stomp off in a pout.

okCupid is never-ending hilarity. I'm tempted to put a picture up of me in ICP clown make-up just to see what happens.

I did that. Tip: it affects nothing.

Damn!

The most stunning part was how few people mentioned it.

Well shit. Maybe I should just take a picture of a blow-up doll's head and use that on my profile instead. :P

Although the X-Men fan wants to set up a Marvel movie date, that could be cool. And Beardy McMusician has deigned to forgive me ICP. Feeling really special about that. 

Some "secret stash" stores carry the Cyberskin body trunks that could prove to be quite the project if you needed a starting point.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

 

My self-summary
My father was a professional jewel thief, from the Dark parts of Asia, he suffered from wanting more out of life, but not willing to sully his high morals by actually working for it, rather whittle his days searching for willing women to bugger. My mother was a sixteen year old Japanese Geisha named Kumiko, a pretty, petite performer who suffered from club toes. Deformity aside, my mother was known for the minute control of her tongue muscles, and was famous globally for her articulation skills.

Not caring of the treasure he had at home with my mother, my father would seek women to sodomize, he drank to excess, he would boldly boast that he created the "Apostrophe", and that every Irishman and Scotsman owed him a fee for the use of an apostrophe in their last names. Most of the time, after his buggery and drinking reached his limit of biblical proportions, he would stare at us children in a drunken, lifeless stupor and attempt to lecture us of Einstein's mistakes with Relatively and how it controlled the world's weather patterns. It was the sort of evening that that any child would develop an imaginary life, where Mommy and Daddy were normal individuals.

My childhood was atypical for Asians, summers in Antarctica, Figure Skating lessons, making items for the Pottery Barn. In the spring we'd visit distant Polynesian relatives at war, find other distant Polynesian relatives, kill them and learn how to make shrunken heads. I once raised an eyebrow in defiance to my father. I quickly lowered my brow in fear as a cold sweat permeated my woolen military uniform that he demanded we wore every day. My father was one who espoused that a lesson is best learned in the quickest and most expedient nature possible. For my defiance, I was stuffed into a large burlap sack with five big Tom Cats found on the family property. The cats snuggled with me in that bag till my father proceeded to hit the bag with his walking stick riling up the kittens to little balls of fur, teeth, and claws. Needless to say, I never again questioned my father, the most wisest man I know. I can now say this without my facial tick activating.

My 13th birthday, I was given a tutor from Bali, a very pretty yet dominant instructor by the name of Bahiya. Bahiya instructed me in the ways of life and love that my father could not. I was introduced to the life of silk, and the sensation of fine material on my now hairless body that was daily manscaped by Bahiya. It was explained to me that in Bali, being hairless was next to being a God. Who am I to contradict that, in this life or the next. There is simply no greater feeling of silk on your hairless and oiled scrotum. Outside of actual sexual congress, that is.

I traveled all of Southeast Asia teaching orphans how to weave baskets in an intricate Brazilian manner, while searching for that elusive perfect beat to meld with Nirvana. Next year I'm planning to join the first manned space trip to Mars to open up a BMW dealership. Yeah, I'm that guy. But unlike most of the guys here, I don't have a problem getting dates. I would rather meet a girl that cares more about something serious than clubbing or drinking and partying. Some don't get my sense of humor and think I'm a huge a**hole, and that's fine. If you don't have a fine sense of snarky, we'd probably not get along. (I'm really just a little bit of an a**hole) I can be brutally honest, and always tell the truth. You can trust me. I like big butts, and I cannot lie.

Reading some of your (Ladies) profiles, I'm seeing you get a lot of men asking to be your personal slave, to cater to every whim and desire, whether it be legal in 39 states or not. I don't really get this, and it's beyond messed up! What is wrong with people today?

Conversely, if you have an urge to be my slave, there may be a vacancy. But be forewarned, you'd have to do dirty things not fit for a genteel woman to do. Some of which include getting me a subway sandwich late at night, then doing some laundry. Or vice versa. I get hungry after doing laundry. Being a good cook is a plus!

For all that, I'm pretty easy going, as long as I get my way. The only way I'd be more awesome is if Morgan Freeman was doing play by play commentary on my life.

Seriously, no more exotic dancers (former or current) message me please! Or for that matter, girls with implants, Scorpios, Leos, and Capricorns. While being around you makes life interesting, you are all nothing but trouble and it never works. Beauty fades, so don't expect to be able to get whatever you want from me because you're hot. What's really rare is a girl who has personality, good energy, and has a great outlook on life. And let's me get away with stuff.

Finally, don't IM me if you can't spell or read. I am done with women who are only beautiful on the outside and nothing else.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Finally, a keeper!

[The Johnny]

Omg CPD, my panties are drenched, dont let this jewel go! hes the one!

Imagine, selling bmws in mars (and tomorrow, in Saturn!)

[LMNO]

I can't tell if it's a good thing or a bad thing that he lifted the structure from Austin Powers.

[Luna]

It wouldn't shock me if that was one of you bastards.   

[hooplala]

I can't tell if it's a good thing or a bad thing that he lifted the structure from Austin Powers.

Hey, he changed the question mark to an apostrophe... that's effort.