Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Or Kill Me => Topic started by: Doktor Howl on September 02, 2011, 07:16:17 PM

Title: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Doktor Howl on September 02, 2011, 07:16:17 PM
Brothers & Sisters,

I am here to talk to you today about the dangers of the Discordian Fundamentalist Heresy.  I refer specifically to those Discordians that believe that "chaos" means pope cards, turkey curses, and happy children dancing in the wildflowers.

Not only does this heretical thought fly in the face of everything we know about Eris, it also leads to the persecution of the Horrible Truthists, who merely wish to describe the universe the way it IS, rather than the way the heretics want it to be.

Don't think we don't notice the snide comments, the petty put-downs, and the harping on how telling it like it is "will drive away new members".  Don't think we don't realize that the heretics plot and plan to drag us all kicking and screaming into some bizarre utopia where we will be forced to speak gibberish and play "3 word story".

Oh, yes.  We see all of this, we see all of this and more, and I can tell you plainly that we don't give a shit about what potential "new members" think, if these hypothetical new members oppose The Truth™.   For The Truth™ is all that matters, and if you see us coming, Bubba, you'd better run. ..Because we will march on a road of bones, if that's what it takes to defend ourselves against the perfidious hippies and loveburgers that hound our very steps.

As a wise man once said, "Your approval is not our concern."

No, we shall not rest until this heresy has been burned out, purged in a Richterian inquisition, the excesses of which shall make Torquemada look like Mister Rogers.  We have grown weary of your petty slights, the glances down your noses at our Holy Work™, and the time of reckoning has come.  Grab your copies of the peedee and your pope cards, heathens, and run for the hills.  Flee, though it shall avail you not.  We shall pursue you tirelessly, to stop this awful persecution you have been fobbing off as "orthodox Discordianism".

And when you are gone, we will stride boldly forward into a bright tomorrow, in the manner in which the founders intended.  Pure, clean, and free of the taint of heresy which you have stained our beloved religion with.

Okay for now,
Dok
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: LMNO on September 02, 2011, 07:21:59 PM
f=ma, BITCHES.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Dimocritus on September 02, 2011, 07:23:42 PM
lol, taint

but seriously,  :mittens:

The terms "fundamental" or "orthodox" should never come before the word "discordianism," it's a total contradiction. Anyone who uses any combination of those terms is a tool.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Dimocritus on September 02, 2011, 07:24:20 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on September 02, 2011, 07:21:59 PM
f=ma, BITCHES.

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Doktor Howl on September 02, 2011, 07:28:12 PM
Quote from: Dimocritus on September 02, 2011, 07:23:42 PM
lol, taint

but seriously,  :mittens:

The terms "fundamental" or "orthodox" should never come before the word "discordianism," it's a total contradiction. Anyone who uses any combination of those terms is a tool.

I am sick of them persecuting me, so I have no option but to CLEANSE THE TEMPLE.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 02, 2011, 07:29:51 PM
FUCKING MITTENS TIMES A THOUSAND, MOTHERFUCKERS!

The Fundamentalist Discordians hate the Horrible Truth sect because we TELL THE HORRIBLE TRUTH, and they are forced to see that their rainbows are made of shit and their bunnies are DEAD. They hate us and try to "tone us down" because they are helpless against the Horrible Truth, that which once seen cannot be unseen, but they would rather be left ignorant, pretend it doesn't exist, and wallow in a football field of filth than face reality. Helpless against the Truth, but not against the Horrible Truthers, so they try to suppress, repress, and even oppress us in their quest to keep their heads in the sand.

We're "Too negative", they say. "Too harsh". We present the offputting face of naked reality, and that keeps mindless hordes of parroting sycophants from thronging to Discordianism to do the bidding of the would-be charismatic Fundamentalist cult leaders. This angers them.

Well, you know what? If you can't handle Strife, can't handle Discord, and most of all if you can't handle the Truth, then you cannot think for yourself, and you are not ready to know Eris. In which case, GTFO my Discordia.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Doktor Howl on September 02, 2011, 07:33:22 PM
Quote from: Nigel on September 02, 2011, 07:29:51 PM
FUCKING MITTENS TIMES A THOUSAND, MOTHERFUCKERS!

The Fundamentalist Discordians hate the Horrible Truth sect because we TELL THE HORRIBLE TRUTH, and they are forced to see that their rainbows are made of shit and their bunnies are DEAD. They hate us and try to "tone us down" because they are helpless against the Horrible Truth, that which once seen cannot be unseen, but they would rather be left ignorant, pretend it doesn't exist, and wallow in a football field of filth than face reality. Helpless against the Truth, but not against the Horrible Truthers, so they try to suppress, repress, and even oppress us in their quest to keep their heads in the sand.

We're "Too negative", they say. "Too harsh". We present the offputting face of naked reality, and that keeps mindless hordes of parroting sycophants from thronging to Discordianism to do the bidding of the would-be charismatic Fundamentalist cult leaders. This angers them.

Well, you know what? If you can't handle Strife, can't handle Discord, and most of all if you can't handle the Truth, then you cannot think for yourself, and you are not ready to know Eris. In which case, GTFO my Discordia.

PREACH IT, NIGEL!

How long were we expected to tolerate their condescension?  How long were we supposed to play nice while they moo-ed their disapproval at us, while glaring at us with their bovine eyes?

It is my opinion that only Horrible Truthists should be allowed to hold any position of responsibility in Discordia, whether that be as an admin, a mod, or anyone making podcasts.  We cannot allow our message to be sullied with these heresies.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Luna on September 02, 2011, 07:47:43 PM
Wait...

Dok?


What's wrong with children dancing in the wildflowers?

I mean... really...

Seriously...

If they stop...

What will I use for target practice?
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Doktor Howl on September 02, 2011, 07:48:47 PM
Quote from: Luna on September 02, 2011, 07:47:43 PM
Wait...

Dok?


What's wrong with children dancing in the wildflowers?

I mean... really...

Seriously...

If they stop...

What will I use for target practice?

Discordian Fundamentalists, of course.  Only by eradicating them can we be free from their "keep Dobbs out of the classroom" secularism.

Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Dimocritus on September 02, 2011, 07:49:14 PM
If one needs to qualify "their discoria" with terms then they're simply doing it wrong by insisting it one way or another.

Only through the balancing and un-balancing between the eternal push-pull of the Hodge and the Podge does Discordia reveal itself.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Doktor Howl on September 02, 2011, 07:50:48 PM
Quote from: Dimocritus on September 02, 2011, 07:49:14 PM
If one needs to qualify "their discoria" with terms then they're simply doing it wrong by insisting it one way or another.

Only through the balancing and un-balancing between the eternal push-pull of the Hodge and the Podge does Discordia reveal itself.

There is only one Discordia, and it is YOUR Discordia.  No "balance" is required.

We shall gnaw on their bones with our very own teeth.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Luna on September 02, 2011, 07:54:57 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 02, 2011, 07:48:47 PM
Quote from: Luna on September 02, 2011, 07:47:43 PM
Wait...

Dok?


What's wrong with children dancing in the wildflowers?

I mean... really...

Seriously...

If they stop...

What will I use for target practice?

Discordian Fundamentalists, of course.  Only by eradicating them can we be free from their "keep Dobbs out of the classroom" secularism.



Takes some of the challenge out of it...  Targets are not only considerably larger, but slower, and they don't even scream as sweetly, but, as a public service...
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 02, 2011, 07:57:22 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 02, 2011, 07:33:22 PM
Quote from: Nigel on September 02, 2011, 07:29:51 PM
FUCKING MITTENS TIMES A THOUSAND, MOTHERFUCKERS!

The Fundamentalist Discordians hate the Horrible Truth sect because we TELL THE HORRIBLE TRUTH, and they are forced to see that their rainbows are made of shit and their bunnies are DEAD. They hate us and try to "tone us down" because they are helpless against the Horrible Truth, that which once seen cannot be unseen, but they would rather be left ignorant, pretend it doesn't exist, and wallow in a football field of filth than face reality. Helpless against the Truth, but not against the Horrible Truthers, so they try to suppress, repress, and even oppress us in their quest to keep their heads in the sand.

We're "Too negative", they say. "Too harsh". We present the offputting face of naked reality, and that keeps mindless hordes of parroting sycophants from thronging to Discordianism to do the bidding of the would-be charismatic Fundamentalist cult leaders. This angers them.

Well, you know what? If you can't handle Strife, can't handle Discord, and most of all if you can't handle the Truth, then you cannot think for yourself, and you are not ready to know Eris. In which case, GTFO my Discordia.

PREACH IT, NIGEL!

How long were we expected to tolerate their condescension?  How long were we supposed to play nice while they moo-ed their disapproval at us, while glaring at us with their bovine eyes?

It is my opinion that only Horrible Truthists should be allowed to hold any position of responsibility in Discordia, whether that be as an admin, a mod, or anyone making podcasts.  We cannot allow our message to be sullied with these heresies.

WE MUST CLEANSE WITH FIRE

WE WILL NOT TOLERATE THESE HERETICS ANY LONGER!!! IT IS A HOLY WAR!
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 02, 2011, 07:58:28 PM
Quote from: Dimocritus on September 02, 2011, 07:49:14 PM
If one needs to qualify "their discoria" with terms then they're simply doing it wrong by insisting it one way or another.

Only through the balancing and un-balancing between the eternal push-pull of the Hodge and the Podge does Discordia reveal itself.

FUCK BALANCE IN THE FACE WITH A STICK

PUUUUUURGE!!!
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Doktor Howl on September 02, 2011, 08:00:12 PM
Quote from: Nigel on September 02, 2011, 07:57:22 PM
WE MUST CLEANSE WITH FIRE

WE WILL NOT TOLERATE THESE HERETICS ANY LONGER!!! IT IS A HOLY WAR!

I, for one, will not allow The War on April Fools Day to go unanswered.

Nor will I tolerate any further interference in my faith from Godless heathens and wishy-washy so-called "chaos magickians".
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Doktor Howl on September 02, 2011, 08:01:06 PM
Quote from: Nigel on September 02, 2011, 07:58:28 PM
Quote from: Dimocritus on September 02, 2011, 07:49:14 PM
If one needs to qualify "their discoria" with terms then they're simply doing it wrong by insisting it one way or another.

Only through the balancing and un-balancing between the eternal push-pull of the Hodge and the Podge does Discordia reveal itself.

FUCK BALANCE IN THE FACE WITH A STICK

PUUUUUURGE!!!

This is correct.  Discordia is all about careening out of control, not some Buddhist nonsense about "balance".
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Dimocritus on September 02, 2011, 08:20:48 PM
Clarification: I never implyed discordia required balance. I simply stated that the relative pushing/pulling of order/disorder is the observable manifistation of discordia.

Jerks.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Doktor Howl on September 02, 2011, 08:22:20 PM
Quote from: Dimocritus on September 02, 2011, 08:20:48 PM
Clarification: I never implyed discordia required balance. I simply stated that the relative pushing/pulling of order/disorder is the observable manifistation of discordia.

We need to knock it right over.  One way or the other, I don't care.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 02, 2011, 08:25:10 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 02, 2011, 08:00:12 PM
Quote from: Nigel on September 02, 2011, 07:57:22 PM
WE MUST CLEANSE WITH FIRE

WE WILL NOT TOLERATE THESE HERETICS ANY LONGER!!! IT IS A HOLY WAR!

I, for one, will not allow The War on April Fools Day to go unanswered.

Nor will I tolerate any further interference in my faith from Godless heathens and wishy-washy so-called "chaos magickians".

THEY MUST BE DESTROYED.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Dimocritus on September 02, 2011, 08:26:52 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 02, 2011, 08:22:20 PM
Quote from: Dimocritus on September 02, 2011, 08:20:48 PM
Clarification: I never implyed discordia required balance. I simply stated that the relative pushing/pulling of order/disorder is the observable manifistation of discordia.

We need to knock it right over.  One way or the other, I don't care.

Now THERE'S a plan I can get behind. No idealism necessary!  :fnord:
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: CorbeauEtRenard on September 03, 2011, 05:53:40 AM
I just don't understand any form of Discordia that isn't about fucking around and getting a good laugh out of it.

Talking about RAW is fine, as long as there's fucking around and getting a good laugh out of it involved.

The turkey curse is fine, as long as it involves fucking around and getting a good laugh out of it.

(Which actually is still feasible for me since the closest I've ever come to another Discordian doing stuff around here is a guy some of my friends know who was in the next city over briefly and left before I found out about him. Oh, and one time I got an "All hail Discordia!" back when I yelled "Hail Eris" at a large group of people. I think the number of people I know that even knew of Discordia before it came up in conversation somehow could be counted without using a second decimal place.)

Coming up with new stuff is great, but only as long as it involves fucking around and getting a good laugh out of it.

Hippies can hippy it up in the name of Discordia all they want. I don't care. But if they're not funny on their own, they're liable to get the image they're trying to project about their "Discordia" fucked around with for the laughter of others.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 03, 2011, 07:13:56 AM
HELLOOOO newbie with a motorcycle!
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 03, 2011, 07:15:27 AM
You, newbie with a motorcycle, are missing one crucial point in Today's Discordja:

TO  THE  WALL.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: CorbeauEtRenard on September 03, 2011, 11:49:20 AM
Yeah, so far that's my biggest weakness.

I'm working on "OFF THE COUCH." still.  :oops:

But today I had the realization that I'm part of the proverbial forces that are aligning quietly and I'm damn well gonna do my part and have a laugh doing it.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Triple Zero on September 03, 2011, 12:15:38 PM
Quote from: CorbeauEtRenard on September 03, 2011, 05:53:40 AM
I just don't understand any form of Discordia that isn't about fucking around and getting a good laugh out of it.

Goddamn, I can't find anything in this statement to disagree with. That's quite impressive :)
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Adios on September 03, 2011, 04:44:56 PM
Well said Dok, well said.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Epimetheus on September 04, 2011, 07:18:54 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 02, 2011, 07:16:17 PM
telling it like it is "will drive away new members". 

I don't even see how this is a bad thing. Fuck 'em.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: BadBeast on September 04, 2011, 09:01:55 AM
Little bits of froth forming at the corners of your mouth, Dok.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Doktor Howl on September 05, 2011, 04:12:39 AM
Quote from: BadBeast on September 04, 2011, 09:01:55 AM
Little bits of froth forming at the corners of your mouth, Dok.

No, you THINK that's froth, but it's not.  It's fucking TOOTHPASTE1.  When I start frothing, you'll KNOW IT.




1  For you Brits...  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toothpaste
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: BadBeast on September 05, 2011, 05:18:49 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 05, 2011, 04:12:39 AM
Quote from: BadBeast on September 04, 2011, 09:01:55 AM
Little bits of froth forming at the corners of your mouth, Dok.

No, you THINK that's froth, but it's not.  It's fucking TOOTHPASTE1.  When I start frothing, you'll KNOW IT.




1  For you Brits...  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toothpaste
Ha! I wondered what it was called. Never needed to know really, because
free Dentistry is part of our free Healthcare package. That we get FREE, just for being so fucking awesome and British. All you get free from your Government in that respect, is water that's 30% fluoride, and Fundies with nice shiny, plaque free brains.
   
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Triple Zero on September 05, 2011, 10:06:15 AM
Quote from: BadBeast on September 05, 2011, 05:18:49 AM
Ha! I wondered what it was called. Never needed to know really, because
free Dentistry is part of our free Healthcare package. That we get FREE, just for being so fucking awesome and British.

for FREE? goddamnit! we got universal healthcare too but that means I have to pay for mine and it's MANDATORY :lol:
[it's great being able to pester your GP whenever your back itches, though]

QuoteAll you get free from your Government in that respect, is water that's 30% fluoride

have you tasted it? the other half is chloride!! and the water itself, it's made from concentrate, to save on transport costs!
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Doktor Howl on September 05, 2011, 02:54:47 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on September 05, 2011, 05:18:49 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 05, 2011, 04:12:39 AM
Quote from: BadBeast on September 04, 2011, 09:01:55 AM
Little bits of froth forming at the corners of your mouth, Dok.

No, you THINK that's froth, but it's not.  It's fucking TOOTHPASTE1.  When I start frothing, you'll KNOW IT.




1  For you Brits...  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toothpaste
Ha! I wondered what it was called. Never needed to know really, because
free Dentistry is part of our free Healthcare package. That we get FREE, just for being so fucking awesome and British. All you get free from your Government in that respect, is water that's 30% fluoride, and Fundies with nice shiny, plaque free brains.
   


We don't have flouride in Arizona, because it's communist.

That way, the tweaker's teeth all fall out in weeks, not months.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Adios on September 05, 2011, 02:55:40 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 05, 2011, 02:54:47 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on September 05, 2011, 05:18:49 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 05, 2011, 04:12:39 AM
Quote from: BadBeast on September 04, 2011, 09:01:55 AM
Little bits of froth forming at the corners of your mouth, Dok.

No, you THINK that's froth, but it's not.  It's fucking TOOTHPASTE1.  When I start frothing, you'll KNOW IT.




1  For you Brits...  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toothpaste
Ha! I wondered what it was called. Never needed to know really, because
free Dentistry is part of our free Healthcare package. That we get FREE, just for being so fucking awesome and British. All you get free from your Government in that respect, is water that's 30% fluoride, and Fundies with nice shiny, plaque free brains.
   


We don't have flouride in Arizona, because it's communist.

That way, the tweaker's teeth all fall out in weeks, not months.

And your water is recycled urine.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Doktor Howl on September 05, 2011, 03:12:19 PM
Quote from: Hawk on September 05, 2011, 02:55:40 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 05, 2011, 02:54:47 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on September 05, 2011, 05:18:49 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 05, 2011, 04:12:39 AM
Quote from: BadBeast on September 04, 2011, 09:01:55 AM
Little bits of froth forming at the corners of your mouth, Dok.

No, you THINK that's froth, but it's not.  It's fucking TOOTHPASTE1.  When I start frothing, you'll KNOW IT.




1  For you Brits...  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toothpaste
Ha! I wondered what it was called. Never needed to know really, because
free Dentistry is part of our free Healthcare package. That we get FREE, just for being so fucking awesome and British. All you get free from your Government in that respect, is water that's 30% fluoride, and Fundies with nice shiny, plaque free brains.
   


We don't have flouride in Arizona, because it's communist.

That way, the tweaker's teeth all fall out in weeks, not months.

And your water is recycled urine.

It was.  Before the budget cuts.

Now we don't get the "recycled" bit.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: deadfong on September 05, 2011, 03:27:31 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 05, 2011, 04:12:39 AM
Quote from: BadBeast on September 04, 2011, 09:01:55 AM
Little bits of froth forming at the corners of your mouth, Dok.

No, you THINK that's froth, but it's not.  It's fucking TOOTHPASTE1.  When I start frothing, you'll KNOW IT.




1  For you Brits...  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toothpaste

(http://riotclitshave.com/2011.08/q5iw4lue.jpg)
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Adios on September 05, 2011, 03:43:55 PM
Dok, here's something Jimmy Webb wrote for Waylon.


Willie we've been constant companion
You know the light and shade
We have spent a million dollars
Find out what we made

We have made the maidens marvel
The things we do and say
Down, down and out brother
Up, up in the way

If you see me gettin' smaller
I'm leavin' don't be free there
Just got to get away from here
If you see me gettin' smaller
Don't worry and no hurry
I've got the right to disappear

God bless old Philadelphia
They were standing in the rain
Out in front of a main yard
Wet and lonely train

Who knows who they came to see
A mad man full of beer
A four piece band and a charter bus
MAy further line career

If you see me gettin' smaller
I'm leavin' don't be free there
Just got to get away from here
If you see me gettin' smaller
Don't worry and no hurry
I've got the right to disappear
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: the last yatto on September 12, 2011, 09:37:27 PM
this post is only to annoy roger
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Doktor Howl on September 12, 2011, 09:42:39 PM
Quote from: Brian Fnord on September 12, 2011, 09:37:27 PM
this post is only to annoy roger

You're kind of...Pathetic, Yatto.

No, really.

But far be it from me to get between you and your obsession.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 17, 2012, 01:23:31 AM
Quote from: Man Green on September 02, 2011, 07:29:51 PM
FUCKING MITTENS TIMES A THOUSAND, MOTHERFUCKERS!

The Fundamentalist Discordians hate the Horrible Truth sect because we TELL THE HORRIBLE TRUTH, and they are forced to see that their rainbows are made of shit and their bunnies are DEAD. They hate us and try to "tone us down" because they are helpless against the Horrible Truth, that which once seen cannot be unseen, but they would rather be left ignorant, pretend it doesn't exist, and wallow in a football field of filth than face reality. Helpless against the Truth, but not against the Horrible Truthers, so they try to suppress, repress, and even oppress us in their quest to keep their heads in the sand.

We're "Too negative", they say. "Too harsh". We present the offputting face of naked reality, and that keeps mindless hordes of parroting sycophants from thronging to Discordianism to do the bidding of the would-be charismatic Fundamentalist cult leaders. This angers them.

Well, you know what? If you can't handle Strife, can't handle Discord, and most of all if you can't handle the Truth, then you cannot think for yourself, and you are not ready to know Eris. In which case, GTFO my Discordia.

Bump
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: hunter s.durden on October 17, 2012, 01:28:50 AM
Good bump.

No comments, everything I could say about this has been adequately covered here.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 17, 2012, 05:18:22 AM
OH SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THE HOLY WAR

PUUUUUUUUUURGE!!!
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 17, 2012, 01:31:39 PM
Having gone through my pinealism phase in high school LIKE A BOSS, and long before the goddess showed up in yellow while I was drunk and watching Eddie Izzard, I support this 1000%
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 23, 2012, 01:05:20 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 02, 2011, 07:16:17 PM
Brothers & Sisters,

I am here to talk to you today about the dangers of the Discordian Fundamentalist Heresy.  I refer specifically to those Discordians that believe that "chaos" means pope cards, turkey curses, and happy children dancing in the wildflowers.

Not only does this heretical thought fly in the face of everything we know about Eris, it also leads to the persecution of the Horrible Truthists, who merely wish to describe the universe the way it IS, rather than the way the heretics want it to be.

Don't think we don't notice the snide comments, the petty put-downs, and the harping on how telling it like it is "will drive away new members".  Don't think we don't realize that the heretics plot and plan to drag us all kicking and screaming into some bizarre utopia where we will be forced to speak gibberish and play "3 word story".

Oh, yes.  We see all of this, we see all of this and more, and I can tell you plainly that we don't give a shit about what potential "new members" think, if these hypothetical new members oppose The Truth™.   For The Truth™ is all that matters, and if you see us coming, Bubba, you'd better run. ..Because we will march on a road of bones, if that's what it takes to defend ourselves against the perfidious hippies and loveburgers that hound our very steps.

As a wise man once said, "Your approval is not our concern."

No, we shall not rest until this heresy has been burned out, purged in a Richterian inquisition, the excesses of which shall make Torquemada look like Mister Rogers.  We have grown weary of your petty slights, the glances down your noses at our Holy Work™, and the time of reckoning has come.  Grab your copies of the peedee and your pope cards, heathens, and run for the hills.  Flee, though it shall avail you not.  We shall pursue you tirelessly, to stop this awful persecution you have been fobbing off as "orthodox Discordianism".

And when you are gone, we will stride boldly forward into a bright tomorrow, in the manner in which the founders intended.  Pure, clean, and free of the taint of heresy which you have stained our beloved religion with.

Okay for now,
Dok

Bump.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 27, 2012, 05:22:05 AM
Quote from: Reverend Roadkill on October 23, 2012, 01:05:20 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 02, 2011, 07:16:17 PM
Brothers & Sisters,

I am here to talk to you today about the dangers of the Discordian Fundamentalist Heresy.  I refer specifically to those Discordians that believe that "chaos" means pope cards, turkey curses, and happy children dancing in the wildflowers.

Not only does this heretical thought fly in the face of everything we know about Eris, it also leads to the persecution of the Horrible Truthists, who merely wish to describe the universe the way it IS, rather than the way the heretics want it to be.

Don't think we don't notice the snide comments, the petty put-downs, and the harping on how telling it like it is "will drive away new members".  Don't think we don't realize that the heretics plot and plan to drag us all kicking and screaming into some bizarre utopia where we will be forced to speak gibberish and play "3 word story".

Oh, yes.  We see all of this, we see all of this and more, and I can tell you plainly that we don't give a shit about what potential "new members" think, if these hypothetical new members oppose The Truth™.   For The Truth™ is all that matters, and if you see us coming, Bubba, you'd better run. ..Because we will march on a road of bones, if that's what it takes to defend ourselves against the perfidious hippies and loveburgers that hound our very steps.

As a wise man once said, "Your approval is not our concern."

No, we shall not rest until this heresy has been burned out, purged in a Richterian inquisition, the excesses of which shall make Torquemada look like Mister Rogers.  We have grown weary of your petty slights, the glances down your noses at our Holy Work™, and the time of reckoning has come.  Grab your copies of the peedee and your pope cards, heathens, and run for the hills.  Flee, though it shall avail you not.  We shall pursue you tirelessly, to stop this awful persecution you have been fobbing off as "orthodox Discordianism".

And when you are gone, we will stride boldly forward into a bright tomorrow, in the manner in which the founders intended.  Pure, clean, and free of the taint of heresy which you have stained our beloved religion with.

Okay for now,
Dok

Bump.

:lulz: Perhaps it is time to remember our Holy War.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: navkat on November 10, 2012, 05:55:16 AM
"Keep Dobbs out of the classroom."

Gawd, this makes me want to home school my kid for a variety of reasons only countered by a variety of similar reasons why I'm willing to overlook the institutional bullshit for access to the value left in sending him there.

Ongoing brain-worm...
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 22, 2013, 04:02:13 PM
Bump for use on FB tonight.   :lulz:
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 22, 2013, 08:29:57 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 22, 2013, 04:02:13 PM
Bump for use on FB tonight.   :lulz:

YESSSS  :lulz:
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on March 06, 2013, 04:28:19 AM
Eris is BIG and she's goddamn dangerous. All those other gods get their kicks by being aloof and watching us beg for their attention. Not She, no: Eris is a hard-working deity.

Eris watches everything you do, looking for the right moment to "help," in her own special way. She'll help you achieve more than you really wanted.

Eris will break you out of the Greyfaced restraints you were in before you found Her, it's true. But She doesn't do it because She loves you and wants you to live a blissful existence of beautiful nonsense.

No, She does it because there's just the slightest chance you'll turn out to be even MORE FUN to play with if She lets you out.

And you wouldn't want to be a disappointment to Our Lady of Chaos, would you?

Oh no, that just wouldn't do at all.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: LMNO on March 06, 2013, 04:39:36 AM
Oh, holy shit. You nailed it.


She fucks with you so you can rise above, and give her a CHALLENGE.


Suu, are you listening?
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on March 06, 2013, 04:59:12 AM
If Eris was a person like you or I, she would be a temperamental, insane, evil person.

But you do not judge Chaos by the same meter stick as you judge a person. You do not judge Chaos at all; that would be meaningless.

That's why we have "Bob." Unlike Eris, "Bob" is not a deity. "Bob" is something else entirely, but the important thing is that he's willing to take your money. Eris is not.


Enlightenment is not a glorious gift by which Eris leads you to a better way of living. Enlightenment is when Eris flashes her tits at you just quickly enough that you don't quite want to gouge your eyes out, but just long enough for you to know, deep in your bowels, that you've seen something. Something that many people either never see, don't realize they've seen, or even refuse to see.

But don't go oggling at Her, hoping for another peek. Eris loves attention, but only the kind She takes from you, not the kind you force upon Her.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 06, 2013, 07:57:52 AM
Eris giggles every time you decide the world is just too fucking much, every time you take it TO THE WALL, every Saturday Night.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: LMNO on March 06, 2013, 01:00:02 PM
I was wondering what that sound was.  I thought it was the screaming of a thousand lost souls.  Turns out, it was just Eris giggling.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on March 07, 2013, 09:33:51 AM
Eris is a huge fucking punch inna teeth that comes out of nowhere, goes singing past your jaw and floors the guy standing next to you. You have just enough time to breathe a sigh of relief before you get arrested for throwing it.  :argh!:
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: navkat on March 07, 2013, 09:12:55 PM
Eris is just a rabble-rousing troublemaker with one hand on a can of Hi-vis-orange Krylon and a finger in your butthole.
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 07, 2013, 09:20:18 PM
Quote from: navkat on March 07, 2013, 09:12:55 PM
Eris is just a rabble-rousing troublemaker with one hand on a can of Hi-vis-orange Krylon and a finger in your butthole.

NEWSFEED
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: navkat on March 07, 2013, 09:23:32 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on March 07, 2013, 09:20:18 PM
Quote from: navkat on March 07, 2013, 09:12:55 PM
Eris is just a rabble-rousing troublemaker with one hand on a can of Hi-vis-orange Krylon and a finger in your butthole.

NEWSFEED

I love you, nigel. <3
Title: Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 08, 2013, 12:42:09 AM
Quote from: navkat: navkat of...navkat! on March 07, 2013, 09:23:32 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on March 07, 2013, 09:20:18 PM
Quote from: navkat on March 07, 2013, 09:12:55 PM
Eris is just a rabble-rousing troublemaker with one hand on a can of Hi-vis-orange Krylon and a finger in your butthole.

NEWSFEED

I love you, nigel. <3

:)