Help

[hunter s.durden]

Discordia United
Friends,Spirits, Countrymen
I Am You. At Least I want to be.
I Want us to join together and throw a stick in the mud
Universal travel
A ship of scientiscts
A few hundred thousand people flung into the universe

This was on a word pad on the computer. I think I wanted you guys to have this.
I'll start working on specs.



Also: Seriously? What the fuck is with the smileys? It took me 17 minutes to wade through that pillar of gifs! I'm fucking impressed!

[Kai]

Didn't you once say you didn't like me very much? Are you the sentimental type that misses things that are old even if you didn't like them just because they are a familiar reminder of a time past?

Probably. I used to say a lot of things that I not realize are stupid.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Durden, nobody likes you very much. It's part of your charm. In fact it's the nearest thing to a redeeming quality you have.

[Phox]

So, which of the horrible people from the Before-Times is this? The one that burned the nunnery or the one that burned the state of Arkansas? Should we get out the poking sticks?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

So, which of the horrible people from the Before-Times is this? The one that burned the nunnery or the one that burned the state of Arkansas? Should we get out the poking sticks?

Hunter was the welcome wagon, before you came along.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Durden, nobody likes you very much. It's part of your charm. In fact it's the nearest thing to a redeeming quality you have.

I like him. 

The ones I always hated were DiL, Agent Compassion, and of course the Bobsey Twins (Hugh & Eldora).

[Phox]

So, which of the horrible people from the Before-Times is this? The one that burned the nunnery or the one that burned the state of Arkansas? Should we get out the poking sticks?

Hunter was the welcome wagon, before you came along.

Ah, so the correct answer is all of the above?

I like him already. 

[Mangrove]

Hey!

Well, I certainly didn't expect this.

Welcome back. Here's what you missed:

1. n00b joins forum.
 
2. n00b decides Roger is a big old meanie and that the world would be such a better place if someone would only:
a) teach him a lesson
b) change his mind about some topic that he's not interested in, especially if it's a topic that he will mock. (cf: magic, libertarianism or frolicking in an imaginary, historically inaccurate, Native American fantasy.)
c) stop him from controlling the board.

3. n00b fails to realize that:

a) members post according to their free will
b) posters find Roger intelligent, funny & interesting
c) because Roger isn't perceived as 'board tyrant' therefore, no one needs 'rescuing' from his influence.

4. n00b makes increasingly futile attempts to 'dethrone' Roger and either:

a) apologizes
b) leaves
c) explodes in a blaze of self-immolating trollish glory (this will often include attacks on other members and generally reveals some sort of personal failing though typically it's mysogny and racism.)
d) weird combination of a, b & c

We are currently in the midst of stage 4. Final outcome TBD.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Hey!

Well, I certainly didn't expect this.

Welcome back. Here's what you missed:

1. n00b joins forum.
 
2. n00b decides Roger is a big old meanie and that the world would be such a better place if someone would only:
a) teach him a lesson
b) change his mind about some topic that he's not interested in, especially if it's a topic that he will mock. (cf: magic, libertarianism or frolicking in an imaginary, historically inaccurate, Native American fantasy.)
c) stop him from controlling the board.

3. n00b fails to realize that:

a) members post according to their free will
b) posters find Roger intelligent, funny & interesting
c) because Roger isn't perceived as 'board tyrant' therefore, no one needs 'rescuing' from his influence.

4. n00b makes increasingly futile attempts to 'dethrone' Roger and either:

a) apologizes
b) leaves
c) explodes in a blaze of self-immolating trollish glory (this will often include attacks on other members and generally reveals some sort of personal failing though typically it's mysogny and racism.)
d) weird combination of a, b & c

We are currently in the midst of stage 4. Final outcome TBD.

Yep.  But the biggest news is that a full half of all PD users have become slaves to Zuckerberg.  Iason, Cram, Cainad, Squiddy, and a whole bunch of other people have decided they prefer LIKING things, and having really small max character limits.

I once watched a guy become so addicted to stumbleupon that he turned into a weird stain on his computer chair.  That's what Facebook is like.  It is useful only for mutual appreciation societies, and pissing people off when the boards are dead.

I was told by one of them that "Facebook is friendlier".  This puzzled me to no end, because FB is the classic example of anonymous asshole.  I think what the person really wanted to say was that FB is more comfortable, because there's zero chance of your beliefs being questioned in a manner that can't be dealt with by the block button, and zero chance that someone will have the space in which to type a convincing argument that your beliefs are in fact wrong.

My new policy, effective today, is that if I haven't seen you on PD for 90 days, but see you on Facebook once a day or once a week, I stop thinking of you as a fellow Discordian, and instead think of you as "that guy/gal I used to know".  Because if we're not good enough for you, then go to hell for all I care.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Hey!

Well, I certainly didn't expect this.

Welcome back. Here's what you missed:

1. n00b joins forum.
 
2. n00b decides Roger is a big old meanie and that the world would be such a better place if someone would only:
a) teach him a lesson
b) change his mind about some topic that he's not interested in, especially if it's a topic that he will mock. (cf: magic, libertarianism or frolicking in an imaginary, historically inaccurate, Native American fantasy.)
c) stop him from controlling the board.

3. n00b fails to realize that:

a) members post according to their free will
b) posters find Roger intelligent, funny & interesting
c) because Roger isn't perceived as 'board tyrant' therefore, no one needs 'rescuing' from his influence.

4. n00b makes increasingly futile attempts to 'dethrone' Roger and either:

a) apologizes
b) leaves
c) explodes in a blaze of self-immolating trollish glory (this will often include attacks on other members and generally reveals some sort of personal failing though typically it's mysogny and racism.)
d) weird combination of a, b & c

We are currently in the midst of stage 4. Final outcome TBD.

There was also the CU debacle. 

[Mangrove]

At risk of sounding like a sanctimonious asshole, I don't have a Facebook account or Twitter or Stumbleupon or Pinterest etc. I cannot for the life of me think of a reason as to why I would want one of these things. [Similarly, I do not own or have ever owned a cell phone.]

Mrs Mang signed up for FB as a convenient medium to share pics with her daughter, especially because she likes getting update on our grandson. But her typical experience goes like this:

Mrs Mang: Hmm...oh...they've changed the format. What's this? No, I WILL NOT click a like button for MITT FUCKING ROMNEY. Arghh.....[clicks wildly]....[stabs at keyboard in frustration]...oh god...Janice is online. I hate FBB!!!! [logs out]

Every so often she makes a valiant attempt to give a crap about FB but it usually lasts only 10 minutes and then she does something more productive. Naturally, this only further entrenches my belief that I have missed nothing of import by not being there.

I've seen some epically retarded drama erupt over people and their FB accounts and watched it impact IRL lives in all sorts of stupid ways, so I don't buy into the notion that it would be friendlier than this board. I've been here 8 years, not entirely sure why but I've stuck around even though I'm only a casual poster  now. I still like to poke my polystyrene nose in from time to time.

In the interests of making things more uncomfortable:

I know you hate jazz.

a) I like jazz. I have lots of jazz on CD and vinyl.I have extra douchey hipster vintage, 1950/60s vinyl. So there!
b) I like jazz enough to want to play it myself...on not one but two different instruments.
c) I've got tickets to see Branford Marsalis in February and, good sir, there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

Fire away! 

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Hey!

Well, I certainly didn't expect this.

Welcome back. Here's what you missed:

1. n00b joins forum.
 
2. n00b decides Roger is a big old meanie and that the world would be such a better place if someone would only:
a) teach him a lesson
b) change his mind about some topic that he's not interested in, especially if it's a topic that he will mock. (cf: magic, libertarianism or frolicking in an imaginary, historically inaccurate, Native American fantasy.)
c) stop him from controlling the board.

3. n00b fails to realize that:

a) members post according to their free will
b) posters find Roger intelligent, funny & interesting
c) because Roger isn't perceived as 'board tyrant' therefore, no one needs 'rescuing' from his influence.

4. n00b makes increasingly futile attempts to 'dethrone' Roger and either:

a) apologizes
b) leaves
c) explodes in a blaze of self-immolating trollish glory (this will often include attacks on other members and generally reveals some sort of personal failing though typically it's mysogny and racism.)
d) weird combination of a, b & c

We are currently in the midst of stage 4. Final outcome TBD.

Yep.  But the biggest news is that a full half of all PD users have become slaves to Zuckerberg.  Iason, Cram, Cainad, Squiddy, and a whole bunch of other people have decided they prefer LIKING things, and having really small max character limits.

I once watched a guy become so addicted to stumbleupon that he turned into a weird stain on his computer chair.  That's what Facebook is like.  It is useful only for mutual appreciation societies, and pissing people off when the boards are dead.

I was told by one of them that "Facebook is friendlier".  This puzzled me to no end, because FB is the classic example of anonymous asshole.  I think what the person really wanted to say was that FB is more comfortable, because there's zero chance of your beliefs being questioned in a manner that can't be dealt with by the block button, and zero chance that someone will have the space in which to type a convincing argument that your beliefs are in fact wrong.

My new policy, effective today, is that if I haven't seen you on PD for 90 days, but see you on Facebook once a day or once a week, I stop thinking of you as a fellow Discordian, and instead think of you as "that guy/gal I used to know".  Because if we're not good enough for you, then go to hell for all I care.

facebook = virtual crack.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

At risk of sounding like a sanctimonious asshole, I don't have a Facebook account or Twitter or Stumbleupon or Pinterest etc. I cannot for the life of me think of a reason as to why I would want one of these things.

Well, the only interest *I* have in it, is that total strangers will accept my friend requests, then I can post awful shit that will pop up on their screens the next time they log in.  My friends list oscillates wildly from 270-1000 friends, and my message box is constantly full of delicious, delicious outraged hatred.  Basically, it's like trolling Mysticwicks, only the mods don't care.

[Similarly, I do not own or have ever owned a cell phone.]

I hate you with the fire of 10,000 suns.

TGRR,
Has to carry a cellphone AND a crackberry.

[Mangrove]

At risk of sounding like a sanctimonious asshole, I don't have a Facebook account or Twitter or Stumbleupon or Pinterest etc. I cannot for the life of me think of a reason as to why I would want one of these things.

Well, the only interest *I* have in it, is that total strangers will accept my friend requests, then I can post awful shit that will pop up on their screens the next time they log in.  My friends list oscillates wildly from 270-1000 friends, and my message box is constantly full of delicious, delicious outraged hatred.  Basically, it's like trolling Mysticwicks, only the mods don't care.

[Similarly, I do not own or have ever owned a cell phone.]

I hate you with the fire of 10,000 suns.

TGRR,
Has to carry a cellphone AND a crackberry.

I guess if I wanted to troll thousands of total strangers, then yes, I can totally see value in Facebook...lol...

I don't need a cell phone 99% of the time. I am self employed and my office is within easy walking distance. If people want to find me, they can call the house phone or they can call my office. If I'm not in one location I'm in the other. Both phones have voice mail. It's like I'm still living in 1994.

Of course, there's days where I wonder if something really terrible will happen to be and the police will say "ahh...poor Mang...if he only had a cell phone - we could have found him/saved him" etc.

Now, more importantly.....I demand to know why you do not like jazz! I take deep personal exception to the fact that our record collections are not the same! This is very distressing as I am unwilling to accept that other people, especially you, will not listen to Bebop. In fact, I am very sure you are responsible for making other people not like jazz.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Now, more importantly.....I demand to know why you do not like jazz! I take deep personal exception to the fact that our record collections are not the same! This is very distressing as I am unwilling to accept that other people, especially you, will not listen to Bebop. In fact, I am very sure you are responsible for making other people not like jazz.

I hope so.  With only a few exceptions (Ella Fitzgerald, etc), Jazz consists of 4 different guys playing 4 different songs in the same room at the same time.  No, wait.  4 different guys tuning up their instruments in the same room at the same time.  It isn't music, and can best be compared to That Guy at a party, who gets ahold of an accoustic guitar and "plays" it (fucking with one bad chord and commenting about how badly tuned it is) until TGRR and Knuckles drag him out back and kick his ass.

Jazz musicians should be beaten mercilessly and then be sold to medical research.  Or a pet food factory.