Rant 53: A Sea of Yahoos

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

 Rant 53
A Sea of Yahoos  

,ÄúWe looked out upon the spectacle, while draining the bottles of tequila. People fighting amongst themselves and against anyone else they could find. That night was truly a vexation upon us and later we proceeded to worry and bitch throughout the long night about the scene which we witnessed, despite the intoxicant coursing our bloodstream and affecting our discourse. But Eris heard us and said unto us in a loud voice ,ÄúMy Children, fear not the yahoos who choose to fight themselves and others for the ever decreasing spaces within their dying world! Just stay well away from them and remain unseen by them,Äîbut always remain sneaky in your Mindfucking. If you need, call upon Me and I will screw them worse then even their televised imaginations could conceive.,Äù By that point, we were perplexed when She pulled out a briar-wood staff from a sock and smashed a tequila bottle with it. We later received news that several of the yahoos who almost harmed us had run into foul fates indeed. Indeed. Let all who hear this understand. Eris is a mighty Goddess. Those who deny this are continually vexed.,Äù
-from the Book of the Tequila M??stica Cabal

My fellow Discordians, when you find yourselves in a seemingly vast sea of yahoos who threaten you with menace, it is time to either organize a series of counter operations, simply stay the fuck away and out of their sight, or move on to places elsewhere,Äîpossibly all three of these simultaneously. The yahoos seem to be everywhere nowadays, either red-necking it up in the small towns, slurping up their expensive iced lattes while driving around in their overpriced SUVs, or thugging around on the city streets. (The latter example being the case in the area where the PMM/C and the TMC had their home bases.) Wherever they choose to inflict themselves upon others, they know that they will probably go unchallenged by other people as a whole. They spread their yahoo ways to others and force everyone around them to become confined and anxious. Once-vast territories of freedom and belonging are turned into gray realms of deadening violent habit, zombie-like comfortable dazes, and power-mad dramas. No matter what they wear, or what activities they engage in, or whether they are in throngs, individual little freelance twists, or state authorized law enforcement or military bodies, their only purpose seems to be to inflict their grayness upon the world around them while succumbing to the pernicious and anti-Chaotic lie that they can achieve and hold onto power. Little do they listen to the ancient words of the proverb ,ÄúHe who dies with the most toys is still dead.,Äù

But this sea of yahoos, and of yahooism in general, should be no surprise to anyone, living as we do in a consumerist society of DUMB and DOOM. No one feels a damned thing for anyone else except fear and hostility, if they still feel anything at all. The middle and upper class yahoos think nothing about consuming goods and services that are the products of global dispossession and slavery,Äîhidden as such unpleasant facts are by the twin fonts of glitzy entertainment and mental blinders. The underclass yahoos think nothing about menacing others for a quick buck or a quick thrill, even if most of the time their menacing is done to each other,Äîdespite all the convoluted rhetoric about oppression and liberal appeals to compassion. All these yahoos justify anything they do by either some vague territorial tribalism,Äîwhether embodied in some categorical ,Äòcommunity,Äô of belonging, a local gang, or by some pseudo-patriotic nation-state,Äîor by some idiotic clich?© such as ,Äúthat,Äôs just the way it is.,Äù Yep. Sure it is. They abdicate their own responsibility and thus their own freedom,Äîas little as they may have. May Eris smoke them all in the fires of their own apathy.

You can say, ,ÄúDamn it, Hugh. That,Äôs harsh.,Äù But I give absolutely one hundred percent of fuck all what you think. It only takes a few yahoos to destroy the goodwill and freedom of a community and after recently witnessing such a spectacle happen where I live, I can only say that the time for sympathy with such zombies is over. The Furies have been called up and are waiting for just a few more conditions to ripen before taking action,Äîwhich shouldn,Äôt take long under the present circumstances. Eris is running rampant with Her nice new briar-wood staff causing all sorts of hoots and hollers that would make even a Discordian with a streak of malice blanch at the sight. The Great Purple Monkey Tzaddik Rouge Discordian Jihad has spilled over and beyond the containers of the Discordian Society and has entered the society at large. Cabbages everywhere will now be served as den-linings for both the Pink Twisted Undead Bunnies of Tartarus and squirrels everywhere. The nuts in the machine are coming lose. The handles are falling off. The screws holding the damned thing together have come undone and are now in my pipe being *cough* smoked. If you think I am crazy then we have so much in common.

Do something to contribute, if you wish. Or not, if you wish. Or maybe, if you wish. But don,Äôt ever let the sea of yahoos lead you to think that you are as stupid and powerless as they want you to believe. The Golden Apples are rolling all over the bobdamned place and Eris is everywhere smacking both the crap and the snot out of all who fall into the disgusting habit of not knowing She exists. If the meek shall inherit the earth, and the Discordians shall inherit the bowling alleys, highways, and bathtubs, then the squirrels shall gnaw on the bones of the yahoos.

Hail Eris!

(Bureaucracy 9th, 3170)