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Latter-Day Spags of Discordia, part 1

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, April 12, 2016, 05:21:51 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

We have often said, most often correctly in my opinion, that the Church is whatever the individual in question wants or needs it to be.  That covers everything from the writing done here to the knuckleheads on Facebook/Myspace pages.  This has to be true, because as we all know, everyone is a Discordian, whether they like it or not. 

I'm not to thrilled with my Discordia right now; and I can't "just stop", because I haven't been doing much of anything.  My Discordia is an empty midway on Coney Island.  All the rides are closed down and garbage is tossed around by a chilly breeze.  Busted bits of the future lay around, trod underfoot by whomever used to be here.  A Buck Rogers official laser pistol lays smashed in the street, it's atomic battery weakly sputtering.  Rusting cars with gigantic tail fins are smashed into each other.  The corpse of a bear behind the driver's seat of one, nobody at all in the driver's seat of the other.  Big fat rats scavenge through the ruins and somewhere there's a memorial to the manned space program.

Me? I'm down at the end, the last man on stage.  I am pulling rabbits out of my hat but their heads keep coming off and I've scared all the kids away.  There's no more magic to be had.   It's all just cheap carnie tricks.  Cigar smoke and cracked mirrors.  A howling empty wilderness that's about as entertaining as the Pripyat Amusement Park. 

But then it occurs to me that the entire country has gone insane.  Nobody is wandering the midway, because nothing Coney Island can offer is as fundamentally weird and downright retarded as what is going on all across the country.  When times were good, people flock to Discordia, more as something to do.  When times are bad, it becomes the job of prophets and other holy fakers to go to them, braying and spraying spittle all over their faces, and asking them WHY THEY'RE UPSET, because - for fuck's sake - this is what they've been demanding since we fired Jimmy Carter back in 1980.

My version of Discordia does not thrive when people like Obama are in the white house.  Sure, there's taunting teabaggers, but that's more schadenfreude than spouting The Word.  No, I am really in my element when the humans have been dumb and need to have their noses rubbed in it.

I am not trying to spur a revival, here.  If people want to jump on board, I will not object, but it is probably more fitting for me to realize that the crowd may one day return to the midway, and I'm the guy laying booby traps for them.  Seven years of snub demand no less, really.  When they crowd in, looking for shelter from the abuses of whichever maniac wins the election, all fresh-faced and eager to get back to pretending to be revolutionaries - with varying degrees of success - I shall be here in the guise of Jason Vorhees' mother (and, yes, in the first movie).  Don't you wish you were me?

Just imagine it.  322,000,000 humans (in the United States alone), looking for someone to tell them that North Carolina and Mississippi were reasonable; that things won't be so bad under president <whomever>.  Looking for absolution for the hilarious things they did while trying to "stick it to the other side", but that resulted in laws that nobody wants.  It was a game, they thought, but now it is law.

You guys can hand out absolution if you want.  It's not in my plans.  No, my plans are to make things worse.  They have fucked around and they have fucked around and then one day all they have left is enemies.  This must be what they wanted, or they wouldn't have worked so hard for it.

But once again, this is my Discordia, and the rest of you can do what you like.  Create your safe spaces.  Fight the intrinsic evil of the liberal system.  Tell us all what.  But don't expect me to listen, I'm busy with a can of gasoline and a book of matches.

Or Kill Me.





" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

ITT: Roger demonstrates he's serious about having a good time.


Nice rant.

Q. G. Pennyworth

This is bouncing off a lot of things I've read lately and I think I like where it's going. Okay, well I may not like where it's going, but it's one of those Horrible Truth things.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 12, 2016, 05:33:10 PM
This is bouncing off a lot of things I've read lately and I think I like where it's going. Okay, well I may not like where it's going, but it's one of those Horrible Truth things.

When people have spent long enough living in a dream world, a little horrible truth can be the best revenge.  Sometimes it is dished out by you and I, to the luckier humans.  Most often, though, it is dished out by the universe in practical exercises that are often fatal, debilitating, or financially expensive.

The universe doesn't CARE about your deep religious beliefs or your views on a constitution you have never actually read.  Action/reaction, and you'd best get out of the way.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: LMNO on April 12, 2016, 05:28:02 PM
ITT: Roger demonstrates he's serious about having a good time.


Nice rant.

I suppose.  It was more a warning label, I think.  Or one of those waivers at the end of drug commercials on teevee.  Incontinenence and feelings of worthlessness may occur.  Contact your doctor if you start bleeding out of your penis.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2016, 05:38:04 PM
It was more a warning label, I think.  Or one of those waivers at the end of drug commercials on teevee.  Incontinenence and feelings of worthlessness may occur.  Contact your doctor if you start bleeding out of your penis.

Chapter 43
QuoteWhen discussing "Reality,"
the Professor and the Poet
speak loftily about how things are figments.
Matter is made up mostly of empty space;
We only perceive sensations;
Everything could be a hallucination.

The wise spags heft a barstool,
feel solid wood in their hands,
and with a simple application of  F=ma
refute their arguments.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: LMNO on April 12, 2016, 05:40:12 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2016, 05:38:04 PM
It was more a warning label, I think.  Or one of those waivers at the end of drug commercials on teevee.  Incontinenence and feelings of worthlessness may occur.  Contact your doctor if you start bleeding out of your penis.

Chapter 43
QuoteWhen discussing "Reality,"
the Professor and the Poet
speak loftily about how things are figments.
Matter is made up mostly of empty space;
We only perceive sensations;
Everything could be a hallucination.

The wise spags heft a barstool,
feel solid wood in their hands,
and with a simple application of  F=ma
refute their arguments.

The bad news:  There are apparently no meteors on a collision course with Earth.

The good news:  There's a million-ton barstool headed our way.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Eater of Clowns

Free market hot dogs here! Get your free market hot dogs! Much tastier now that we got that pesky FDA out of the equation!
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Meunster

Discordianism doesn't need a revival. It isnt needed society wide, it just helps small groups of weirdos from fire bombing down town. The worlds a joke and it's impossible to commit a crime against conformity.

Eris knows the world, almost everyone knows eris, they just don't know his/her name.

IMO
Poe's law ;)

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Meunster on April 13, 2016, 01:43:24 AM
Discordianism doesn't need a revival. It isnt needed society wide, it just helps small groups of weirdos from fire bombing down town. The worlds a joke and it's impossible to commit a crime against conformity.

Eris knows the world, almost everyone knows eris, they just don't know his/her name.

IMO

Yeah, that's why I *DIDN'T CALL FOR ONE*.

Jesus H Fucking Christ.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Meunster

Hm, yeah that's a good point. My bad.

What's the H in Jesus H chrsit stand for?
Poe's law ;)

LMNO

"Hallowed".


You know, "Hallowed be thy name," and all that.

The Good Reverend Roger

This is precisely why I have stopped giving a shit about rants starting 5 seconds after I post them.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

POFP

This fucking rocks. And I wish I could say that this attitude was the reason they are electing Trump. But no, they actually think they are making things better.

Also, I like the slight relevance to Gogira's Magician posts.
It's kind of like a parallel, or an aftermath scene. Like all The Magicians™ decided to use 4Chan and/or Reddit as a reference manual for worldly change. Because that's pretty much what's going on. Right now.

IRL.

Quote from: LMNO on April 12, 2016, 05:40:12 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2016, 05:38:04 PM
It was more a warning label, I think.  Or one of those waivers at the end of drug commercials on teevee.  Incontinenence and feelings of worthlessness may occur.  Contact your doctor if you start bleeding out of your penis.

Chapter 43
QuoteWhen discussing "Reality,"
the Professor and the Poet
speak loftily about how things are figments.
Matter is made up mostly of empty space;
We only perceive sensations;
Everything could be a hallucination.

The wise spags heft a barstool,
feel solid wood in their hands,
and with a simple application of  F=ma
refute their arguments.


Also, WHERE THE FUCK DID THIS COME FROM?  :lulz:

That wasn't in the Principia, was it?
This Certified Pope™ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.

LMNO

That's the Chao Te Ching. Check my sig, look for it of FB, free pdf available.