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I'd do something, but I don't think we have Black Friday in Canada. Is there any way I can help regardless?

Wait, you're qualified to be a sous-chef?

Seriously. It takes talent you can't even imagine to burn top ramen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smgVLKoA1sE
Not an atrocity quite so much as Alan Jackson being a giant asshole. Still an atrocity in my book.

I see a five o'clock shadow on the upper lip.

Jack the Ripper, by Link Wray:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8wO1EplWww

Can you believe he wrote this in 1961? Link Wray was decades ahead of his time. Decades.

That's pretty awesome, I have to admit. The only thing I didn't like was how sharp and piercing the guitar sounded

But the whole point is that it's sharp and piercing! This is Link Wray! The Rumble Man, dammit!

Yeah, I see it, and I do want to stomp the shit outta something. That's why I'm here, isn't it?

Is it just me, or is the English language gradually sliding towards Newspeak?

I NEED this movie.

Not only did someone WRITE that shit, someone APPROVED it, and someone BANKROLLED it. 

WHAT THE FUCK?

Much worse shit makes it through the production process.
Prepare to be horrified:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHTFxH1fWdQ

Any revolution starts going septic when joined by those who see it as a scene, rather than a necessity.

QTF. I'm familiar from this mostly from a musical perspective, as rock n roll was the revolution of the twentieth century, but from what I know, this always happens. Every time. Rockabilly, the hippies, the punks, grunge. It's always when it becomes the Next Big Thing(TM) that a movement loses touch with itself. I'm sure this applies to every other revolution, I'm just referring to what I know.

Words cannot express...

Guys! We use an apple as a symbol! We must be involved in the conspiracy as well!

I miss the Rhinoceros Party.

Buncha drunken Newfies, right?

Damn right.

Jack the Ripper, by Link Wray:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8wO1EplWww

Can you believe he wrote this in 1961? Link Wray was decades ahead of his time. Decades.

I miss the Rhinoceros Party.

Players are "Discordian Double Agents" and have 'catma' points. They are also infiltrators in one of 5 major groups, The Hashashin, The Rosicrucians, The Greys (aliens), The Illuminati and some other one. Each group has its own special "Dogma" which you can use to do special stuff... The Dogma of the assassins allows you to force your will on others, the dogma of the Rosicrucians allows you to manipulate the elements etc. Everytime you use Catma (the Hail Eris! Emergency plan) it drops a point, everytime you use your dogma, it grows a point. If your Dogma every outweighs your catma, you become a triple agent and start working against the Discordians.

Otherwise the rules are entirely unnecessary.

Oh and dice rolling is basically x number of d6 and your goal is any form of 5.

So if you roll 5 dice and get:
2 3 5 4 1
You have three successes, 5,  (2+3) and (4+1)

I bet I could find more fives than that!