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ITT, You List All The Bad Shit That Nigel & Roger Are Responsible For.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, November 05, 2012, 06:51:04 PM

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Aucoq

Roger is the reason why children cry in movie theatres.  On second thought, he's the reason why children cry anywhere.

And welcome back Cainad! :)
"All of the world's leading theologists agree only on the notion that God hates no-fault insurance."

Horrid and Sticky Llama Wrangler of Last Week's Forbidden Desire.

Eater of Clowns

ROGER is responsible for...

the beat dropping.
the decline of JELL-O pudding pops.
early voter fraud.
Celine Dion.
unmanned automated drone strikes.
Smart cars.

NIGEL is responsible for...

shirts that hang oddly.
autotune.
late voter fraud.
failed investments.
accupressure.
coin operated park benches.

They are BOTH responsible for...

the disappearance of Amelia Earhart.
Patty Hearst
Patty LaBelle
bonobos.
Newsweek going under.
fraudulent expiration dates.
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Signora Pæsior

The Little River Band.
Ingrown hairs/toenails.
Those "$10 each/two for $20" signs people still think are original and/or funny.
Canada.
Petrochemical Pheremone Buzzard of the Poisoned Water Hole

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Richter, Baron von on November 05, 2012, 10:17:36 PM
If Roger was controlling me, there would be a higher body count.

If Nigel has been puppeting me this whole time I demand a retroactive "Dinner first"

:lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

FACT: oil is not a carbon byproduct of ancient fossils, it's a carbon byproduct of ancient deposits of Roger's body hair. He's immortal, but every once in a while, he loses a bet. Roger is solely responsible for global warming, but not in the way you're thinking; it has nothing whatsoever to do with Vindaloo, and everything to do with last time he lost a bet and had to shave his back. Uncertain of how to handle the massive biohazard threat posed by the trimmings, the DOT lit them on fire in a fiasco reminiscent of Oregon's exploding whale but on a monumental scale, effectively tripling global carbon emissions and sending the planet spiraling into ecological disaster.

The only reason he hasn't done it again is because he enjoys the alternate explanations the White House comes up with. The only reason the White House comes up with alternate explanations is because he's kept every administration since Herbert Hoover in cringing obsequiousness to his every whim with the judicial application of mind-lazors.


"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


dontblameyoko

Quote from: Cain on November 05, 2012, 07:06:16 PM
ROGER DID WTC.  TWICE.

First the one tower, then the other.  (Unless you meant both the thing that happened in the earily 1990s and the thing that happened in the early 2000s.)

Roger and Nigel are responsible for the endangerment of the prairie squid and the tree octopus.
BBBBP
PPBLL ~Ted Kennedy as a baby (http://beatonna.livejournal.com/116931.html)
"ty7h hg uh nmcx,m cv8t gygj jg" ~another baby

Luna

Nigel is responsible for the existance of spiders.

Roger did scorpions.

This is what happens when the two of them drink too much shitty bourbon and get into contests.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

LMNO

Roger is directly responsible for the MS Office Paper Clip assistant.

As for Nigel, well... One day she just got tired of all those dinosaurs all over the place, you know?


EK WAFFLR

"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


Horribly Oscillating Assbasket of Deliciousness
[/b]

Juana

"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Mistre

Lemme try...

Roger's mind lazors are the reason you forget where you put your keys/where you left your remote.
Uber Supreme Poobah of Pope-Groping™

He who acknowledges his own inability to answer a question is wise, he who does not seek one is stupid.

The Good Reverend Roger

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

ROGER AND NIGEL LEGALIZED THE KILLING OF THE BAYBEEEEEEES BY ABERSHIN

YUO WANT A VACCUUM JOB FROM TAXPAYERS MONEY?

wHY YU SPRED YR LEGS? *RAEP IS FAKE YUO KNOA YUO WANT THE DICK*

THANK ROGIR AND NAIGILE

BRAIN LAZERZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

hunter s.durden

Roger has never done anything wrong, and I'm still not too sure who this Nigel is everyone is on about.

But Cain...
That motherfucker is the worst thing the internet has done to me.
The one who talked me into joining Facebook, thus starting a chain reaction of events that ruined what was left of my mind.
The guy that can't help but illuminate every international story of horror, robbing me of sleep and sanity.
That motherfucker is so sneaky that not even our apparent new resident tyrant bloodhound can notice his evil.
Fuck Cain.

Oh wait, I think once Roger used a sarcastic straw man argument in a disagreement we were having. I found that to be distasteful. I knew there had to be something.
This space for rent.