Shhhh, just five more minutes.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Standing on this ledge, outside the window of the holding pen they call 'affordable apartment living', it's such a refreshing view. Everyone down below is oblivious. Humans never look up, adults don't. Children look everywhere until they're given their blinders at graduation and wear them proudly like a badge of honor.

No one has noticed me up here yet. Childish urges to spit over the ledge, drop a penny, or just jump flit through my head like flirting sparrows. Flashing feathers in the sunlight, gone in an instant. Instead I lift my face to the wind and breath deep. It doesn't smell so bad up here. The heavy exhaust odor is but a whisper. All the grime and sweat and anger are barely noticeable.

It's not as dirty, I guess is what I'm saying. That's why I like it up here.

Everything is muffled. The screams and screeches and honking horns, the blaring music and the shouted arguments, laughing children, barking dogs . . . it's just a gentle murmur instead of a tumultuous cacophony.

I want to stay out here. I would, only there's no bathroom or water fountain and I guess people would notice if yellow and brown rain started falling from the sky in 12 hour intervals. But I'm here now, enjoying the peace, trying to sop it up like gravy with crusty bread to savor it longer, pull it into my skin and carry it with me when I leave.

Which I will be, soon.

The alarm on my watch beeps. I inhale deeply one more time and step back through the window. Time to get ready for work. Time to shower, put on my uniform, remove any distinguishing characteristics, and slap on a plastic smile.

Because once you get used to the blinders, everything that isn't homogenized and PERFECTLY NORMAL, OKAY glares like an angry sun and no one wants to see at that.

You know what they say. "Fake it until you make it."

Or Kill Me.

[Reginald Ret]

Awww CPD, no offence but I hope you never "make it".
Fuck em. Their inability to handle your Godlike Sun-Rays of Awesome is not your problem.
They can block it out just like they block out all the glaringly obvious horrible shit that is constantly happening around us all.

I love the way you write.

But I'm here now, enjoying the peace, trying to sop it up like gravy with crusty bread to savor it longer, pull it into my skin and carry it with me when I leave.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Thanks, regret. I appreciate that.

[Left]

Because once you get used to the blinders, everything that isn't homogenized and PERFECTLY NORMAL, OKAY glares like an angry sun and no one wants to see at that.

Yes, but you're not normal.
...Neither am I.
Can't help it, tried to iron our unruly brain wrinkles smooth, no dice.

...How do we turn who we are to our advantage? 
My way to that goal seems to be through self-love...and no, not the kind of self-love you can't do in public.

Awww CPD, no offence but I hope you never "make it".
Fuck em. Their inability to handle your Godlike Sun-Rays of Awesome is not your problem.

I love the way you write.

Haven't been here very long, but I think you're spiffy. 
Don't let the bastards get to you.