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Roger Experiences High Culture, Behaves Badly.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, October 22, 2012, 04:43:31 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

So, I went to my friend Ross's housewarming party.  His girlfriend's mother had made a bunch of homemade biscotti for this event, and was taste-testing it for possible sale.  They had arranged two slightly different recipes for each type, and were asking if there was a noticeable difference between each one.

Problem:  It was an art crowd, so there were more than a few hipsters there.  Almost all of them were +1s of Ross and his GF's actual friends.

The hipsters went on and on about which particular type of tea each variation would go best with.  What's more, they were all trying to outdo each other on which bizarre tea would work best.  I stood it as long as I could, then asked Lucy (Ross's GF) and her mother if I could try something.

I went in the kitchen, and put two of the exact same biscottis on each plate, and asked for one last round of taste tests.  The hipsters did the same thing, calling out subtle differences, and declaring which jasmine/rose/whatever tea would go better with each one.

After about 5 minutes of this, I announce that I had made an error, and that there was no difference at all between the two biscottis.

Utter silence.

After a second or two, I heard Lucy hiccuping in the kitchen.  I felt awful...Here was her housewarming party, and I'd gone and made her cry.  I went into the kitchen, and there she was...Supporting herself on the sink, beside her mother, and both of them were wheezing with laughter, and trying to stay quiet.

Later, I was out back having a smoke, and one of the hipsters came out and told me what a shit I was.  I smiled and agreed.  He snarled a curse at me and left.  I couldn't stop giggling.

A moment later, Lucy came out and gave me a kiss on the cheek, and said that she'd always wanted to see a couple of them taken down a notch, and that it was the best housewarming party ever.

Jenn was amused, and told me that she'd always known there was a reason she keeps me around.

So, yeah.  Not cut out for Tucson's excuse for an art crowd, don't care.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

hooplala

This is why we love you.  Truly, I wish you lived in Toronto, but I think Rob Ford's existence would probably have you in jail.
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)"
— Walt Whitman

Juana

:lulz: Stories like this are always a little bit pleasing.
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EK WAFFLR

"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


Horribly Oscillating Assbasket of Deliciousness
[/b]

The Good Reverend Roger

I had talked to Nigel on the way over, and I was reasonably certain before even arriving that things would go sideways...Based on the descriptions of some of the +1s that Ross had warned me about.

ALL THAT HIPSTERS REQUIRE TO RUIN A PARTY IS FOR ASSHATS TO DO NOTHING.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

P3nT4gR4m

Quote from: Man Yellow on October 22, 2012, 05:28:46 PM
ALL THAT HIPSTERS REQUIRE TO RUIN A PARTY IS FOR ASSHATS TO DO NOTHING.

Hipsters appear to be a subset of Wankers*. Rule holds true across the board.




*not completely sure, hipsters haven't made it to the UK yet. Or maybe I've just never met any.

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

LMNO

That was really quite awesome, Roger.  Half of me wishes I could have been there, and half of me thinks I could have been one of the douchebags thinking I could tell the difference.

LMNO

Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on October 22, 2012, 05:34:13 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 22, 2012, 05:28:46 PM
ALL THAT HIPSTERS REQUIRE TO RUIN A PARTY IS FOR ASSHATS TO DO NOTHING.

Hipsters appear to be a subset of Wankers*. Rule holds true across the board.




*not completely sure, hipsters haven't made it to the UK yet. Or maybe I've just never met any.

I'm pretty sure the "Teddy Boy" was pretty fucking close.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 22, 2012, 05:35:17 PM
That was really quite awesome, Roger.  Half of me wishes I could have been there, and half of me thinks I could have been one of the douchebags thinking I could tell the difference.

Well, being told there was a difference might bias things, people tasting differences that didn't exist, etc...But the absolute CERTAINTY being displayed, plus the proclamations of which ever-more-obscure tea that would go with each one was a fucking hoot.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

P3nT4gR4m

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 22, 2012, 05:35:50 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on October 22, 2012, 05:34:13 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 22, 2012, 05:28:46 PM
ALL THAT HIPSTERS REQUIRE TO RUIN A PARTY IS FOR ASSHATS TO DO NOTHING.

Hipsters appear to be a subset of Wankers*. Rule holds true across the board.




*not completely sure, hipsters haven't made it to the UK yet. Or maybe I've just never met any.

I'm pretty sure the "Teddy Boy" was pretty fucking close.

I'm not that fucking old  :argh!:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

trippinprincezz13

 :lol:  This both pleases and saddens me that I rarely come into contact with the hipster type.

I'm mildy surprised that no-one tried to play it off by saying they had an ultra-refined pallette and the biscotti must have been sitting on a different part of the pan and due to the added heat ratio the essence of certain ingredients were displayed more, affecting the taste
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Anna Mae Bollocks

Quote from: Man Yellow on October 22, 2012, 05:37:07 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 22, 2012, 05:35:17 PM
That was really quite awesome, Roger.  Half of me wishes I could have been there, and half of me thinks I could have been one of the douchebags thinking I could tell the difference.

Well, being told there was a difference might bias things, people tasting differences that didn't exist, etc...But the absolute CERTAINTY being displayed, plus the proclamations of which ever-more-obscure tea that would go with each one was a fucking hoot.

Please crash one of those wine tasting events.  :lulz:
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 22, 2012, 06:23:52 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 22, 2012, 05:37:07 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 22, 2012, 05:35:17 PM
That was really quite awesome, Roger.  Half of me wishes I could have been there, and half of me thinks I could have been one of the douchebags thinking I could tell the difference.

Well, being told there was a difference might bias things, people tasting differences that didn't exist, etc...But the absolute CERTAINTY being displayed, plus the proclamations of which ever-more-obscure tea that would go with each one was a fucking hoot.

Please crash one of those wine tasting events.  :lulz:

Hell, I can probably get invited.

"What's in this shit?  Grape juice or something?"
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO


The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 22, 2012, 06:26:55 PM
"Don't you have anything newer"?

:lulz:

"What's the use-by date on this stuff?  You're feeding me 20 year old food?  I should SUE YOU!"
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.