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Endorsement:  I know that all of you fucking discordians are just a bunch of haters who seem to do anything you can to distance yourself from fucking anarchists which is just fine and dandy sit in your house on your computer and type inane shite all day until your fingers fall off.

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My Girl Friday

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, June 25, 2014, 02:22:03 PM

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Luna

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 18, 2014, 06:23:24 PM
"Friday, we have TALKED about gratuitous killing, have we not?"

"No, boss, YOU talked about it.  I just sat there and thought about unicorns and puppies.   You took that for assent."

:)  I love her.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: trix on July 18, 2014, 08:05:05 PM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  :argh!:  :argh!:  :argh!:
you can't cut to a commercial break NOW
it's about to get OMFG awesome!
goddamnit!  :argh!:

(but I love it of course!)

I always do right before gigantic ass-kicking scenes.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Luna on July 18, 2014, 10:27:46 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 18, 2014, 06:23:24 PM
"Friday, we have TALKED about gratuitous killing, have we not?"

"No, boss, YOU talked about it.  I just sat there and thought about unicorns and puppies.   You took that for assent."

:)  I love her.

Ain't it awesome?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

I'm on the edge of my seat here.
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

LMNO

Now there will be violence.

The Good Reverend Roger

#155
Part 14

The janitor pounced.  You often think of janitors as slightly chubby, late-middle age men who are not prone to pouncing, but nobody told THIS guy.  Jaxx, on the other hand, is one of those big guys that is also fast.  He managed to duck under the janitor's blade, and took the opportunity to slam a fist into the man's gut.  The reaction was simply one off on mass hitting another...The janitor "woofed" as air was forced out of his chest, but he displayed no discomfort.

The janitor moved in again.  Jaxx backed up, pulling his pistol, and fired.  The bullet struck the janitor and rocked him back, but didn't seem to have any other effect.  Certainly no blood came out, which is the normal state of affairs when you shoot someone.  The man smiled, and moved back in toward Josh.  Josh emptied his pistol...And missed with all but the last bullet.  The janitor's utility knife was blown out of his hand.

The Janitor darted in and punched Jaxx in the face twice.  It was like being hit by a small but angry truck.  Jaxx backed up a bit, noticing out of the corner of his eye that Hamish and the three ladies were sensibly standing behind things.

"We have waited, in relative years, millenia for this moment", the Janitor said in a hollow voice, "You are bad data.  You will all be erased."  He then lunged again, knocking Jaxx though the plaster wall behind him.  "We are The Machine.  We are as far ahead of you as you are to a jellyfish."

From his vantage point on the floor, Josh could see a length of pipe above his head, inside the wall.  He reached up and grabbed it.

"Your time in this reality is over.  Your time in Real Time is over.  We have arrived, and we are clearly the superior species." 

The pipe broke off in Jaxx's hand, as the Janitor stepped over him.

"The new order shall...OOF".  The janitor staggered slightly back as Jaxx hit him in the stomach with the pipe.  Jaxx sprang to his feel.

"Yeah, you son of a bitch, but I am from BALTIMORE and I can BARELY SPEAK ENGLISH", he said as he swung from way down South, striking the janitor in the crotch with all of his strength.  There was a muffled "awwwww DAMN" from the other occupants of the room, which Jaxx ignored. 

It seemed that enough pain could get through to this thing.  He swung at the thing's knee, and heard it snap under the impact.  The Janitor fell down.  Jaxx whacked him across the shoulders, repeatedly, "And I represent the OLD order, you fucking freak!  2 MILLION years of monkey evolution in the making, come ALL the way to this day and age to teach you about the club!"

He hauled the janitor's broken form off the ground.  "And so I'm telling YOU, you piece of shit, you take your New Order and GET THE HELL OUT". 

The janitor sailed in a graceful arc that intersected with the office window, which didn't even slow it down.  The crash of the breaking glass was followed by a thud at street level.  Jaxx staggered over and looked down.   Friday came up beside him.

On the ground below, the entire form of the janitor was flickering from solid to static and back.  In another moment, it turned to static and dispersed, leaving nothing to mark its existence.

"Now there's something you don't see every day", Jaxx said.

"Speak for yourself", Friday said, with an enigmatic grin.

"Does anyone mind telling me what the hell that was?"

(To be continued)

(More today) 
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Eater of Clowns

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 21, 2014, 03:42:07 PM
Certainly no blood came out, which is the normal state of affairs when you shoot someone.

This line in particular caught me.  :lulz:
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 21, 2014, 03:45:58 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 21, 2014, 03:42:07 PM
Certainly no blood came out, which is the normal state of affairs when you shoot someone.

This line in particular caught me.  :lulz:

I was partial to the "I represent the OLD order" line, but yeah.  :lol:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Q. G. Pennyworth

Quoteone of those bug guys that is also fast

should be big.


Also I love this.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on July 21, 2014, 04:25:06 PM
Quoteone of those bug guys that is also fast

should be big.


Also I love this.

Fixed, and thanks.   :)
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

trix

Awesome!  Loving this story!  Can't wait for more!

I'm just wondering why Friday didn't whip out the Awesome Powers on static-head
There's good news tonight.  And bad news.  First, the bad news: there is no good news.  Now, the good news: you don't have to listen to the bad news.
Zen Without Zen Masters

Quote from: Cain
Gender is a social construct.  As society, we get to choose your gender.

Sita

Is Josh and Jaxx the same person in two realities or have I missed something  :?

Either way loving it so far :)
:ninja:
Laugh, even if you are screaming inside. Smile, because the world doesn't care if you feel like crying.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: trix on July 21, 2014, 05:32:39 PM
Awesome!  Loving this story!  Can't wait for more!

I'm just wondering why Friday didn't whip out the Awesome Powers on static-head

Same reason she didn't at the Mission.  All will be explained.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Sita on July 21, 2014, 05:42:00 PM
Is Josh and Jaxx the same person in two realities or have I missed something  :?

Either way loving it so far :)

Jaxx Josh is his full name.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Sita

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 21, 2014, 05:44:24 PM
Quote from: Sita on July 21, 2014, 05:42:00 PM
Is Josh and Jaxx the same person in two realities or have I missed something  :?

Either way loving it so far :)

Jaxx Josh is his full name.
Ah, ok.
:ninja:
Laugh, even if you are screaming inside. Smile, because the world doesn't care if you feel like crying.