Messages

Oh, you.

 

Yeah I haven't even come up with a good reply to this.  I'm waiting until the hangover wears off.

Besides, we all know San Diego is a gaint vag.

I love lamp.

Watch out for the guns.  They'll gitcha.

Sixty percent of the time, it works...EVERY time.

I'd love to participate in any and all projects that I will participate in.  That being said, I refuse to physically harm anyone, because I'm a wimp and someone bigger should do it.  I hereby suggest a name for a project that I haven't actually figured out the purpose of, that being "Project Chauncey Peppertooth", or PCP.

My battalion will arive over the course of the next eight years, the best way to identify a member is if they're the type of person that can figure out calculus before algebra, or backflips before walking.  In other words, if you see someone backflipping down the street while working out the Mean Value Theorem out loud, send them to me.

It'll take more than hairy lifeguards to cause mine eyes to bleed.  In fact, short of causing my monitor to explode and send glass shards into my eye sockets, you'll have a much easier time with my brain.  It's softer, too!

So you say, but you and I know you're wiping away drops of blood from your keyboard even as you typed this reply, muttering "oh why, in the name of all that is holy, WHY?!"

I must admit, that is far more entertaining than "Oh hey, David Hasselhoff naked again."

It'll take more than hairy lifeguards to cause mine eyes to bleed.  In fact, short of causing my monitor to explode and send glass shards into my eye sockets, you'll have a much easier time with my brain.  It's softer, too!

There's free coffee?!

There was the last time I wasn't here.  Unfortunately, you have to add the heat and coffee beans yourself.  Just look for the thing that appears to be a water fountain.

[er]

I don't think you're really sorry.

But that's OK, we have ways of changing that.

Are you going to tell me about all of the interesting and exciting things I missed because I didn't show up on time?  Or are you going to beat me about the head with a jagged rock?

Maybe I'll end up sorry I wasn't later.

You will be docked pay.

Also, D didn't seem to make any sense.

I couldn't think of anything good, so I stole a line off a Passion Flower Extract bottle and combined it with one from a pumpkin carving kit.  Do I still get free coffee in the break room?

I'd have been here sooner, but I

A. Forgot what my name was.

B. Had a layover in JFK

C.  A colored light halfway between blue and green,

D. As a dietary supplement offering the consistent benefits of exact potency, the carving saws, drill, and pounce wheel are SHARP.

E. +