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ITT, you tell me your shoe size and favorite color...

Started by East Coast Hustle, November 05, 2011, 07:23:32 PM

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East Coast Hustle

...and I'll use that personal information to determine your full name, address, and where you work.

GO!
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Freeky

I have a shoe size L, and my favorite color is 12. GO

Bruno

Formerly something else...

Triple Zero

My shoes are size 44 and MY FAVOURITE COLOUR DIED OF ATROPINE POISONING, YOU INSENSITIVE BASTARD!!!
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Phox


Kurt Christ

Formerly known as the Space Pope (then I was excommunicated), Father Kurt Christ (I was deemed unfit to raise children, spiritual or otherwise), and Vartox (the speedo was starting to chafe)

Cain

My shoe size is 83.244.236.131 and my favourite color is 349174719

Don Coyote

9 EEE and Black

Quote from: Triple Zero on November 05, 2011, 07:32:03 PM
My shoes are size 44 and MY FAVOURITE COLOUR DIED OF ATROPINE POISONING, YOU INSENSITIVE BASTARD!!!

:spittake:

East Coast Hustle

Quote from: Science me, babby on November 05, 2011, 07:24:54 PM
I have a shoe size L, and my favorite color is 12. GO

your name is Vincenzo Fartarelli and you live in Queens where you sell counterfeit Manischewitz wine at cut-rate prices to people who are having trouble affording a bar mitzvah party.

Quote from: Emo Howard on November 05, 2011, 07:28:49 PM
10 1/2

#FF00FF

Apparently, your name actually IS "Emo Howard". You live in a 55+ gated retirement trailer park in Muncie, Indiana where you aren't technically employed but manage to scrape by on an ingenious scam involving you placing a cat in the tree outside the trailer of anyone in the park who suffers from dementia or alzheimers and then charging them $10 to rescue "their" cat.

Quote from: Triple Zero on November 05, 2011, 07:32:03 PM
My shoes are size 44 and MY FAVOURITE COLOUR DIED OF ATROPINE POISONING, YOU INSENSITIVE BASTARD!!!

Flugelhorn VanHymenstomp? Really? You Belgians have the strangest names.

You live at 612 Anuustraad in the basement of a tourist brothel and obviously, given your ethnic background and enormous feet, you make a living as an environmentally-friendly freelance wafflemaker using only the waffle-tread soles of your favorite pair of clogs and the heat generated by the friction of your thighs rubbing together.

Quote from: Doktor Phox on November 05, 2011, 07:33:09 PM
Shoe size 42-30, favorite color lizard. GO!

Your real name is Princess Poopypants (you had it legally changed to that when you turned 18, apparently) and you live in an abandoned methlab on the outskirts of Effingham, Illinois. You make your living by beating up members of the local biker gang, stealing their leather vests and chaps, and turning them into cute handbags and coin purses to sell on Etsy.

Quote from: Kurt Christ on November 05, 2011, 07:33:54 PM
10; green.

Your real name is Charlie Dwardfarkle. you live on a boat, which sounds pretty glamorous except that it's a moldy 15 foot zodiac with a blue tarp over it that you've tied to a cypress tree in the swamp outside Port Arthur, Texas. You are happily unemployed, feeling that you live quite well on your yacht, drinking the sweat that condenses on the underside of the tarp every morning and eating a porridge made from swampgrass and spanish moss, with the occasional bits of armadillo meat thrown in when you find a dead one floating by.

Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

East Coast Hustle

Quote from: Cain on November 05, 2011, 08:14:27 PM
My shoe size is 83.244.236.131 and my favourite color is 349174719

your name is Ambassador Klok Kaos. You live in Saratoga Springs, New York but you are known and noted worldwide for your dashing good looks and musical prowess. When you aren't pursuing your dream of releasing an industrial album consisting solely of the "brown note" dragged out for a bowel-imploding 45 minutes, you put on yellow sunglasses and tour the world as the frontman for your side project band, U2.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"


East Coast Hustle

Quote from: Donald Coyote on November 05, 2011, 08:28:17 PM
9 EEE and Black

Your real name is Myrtle Feinbottom. You live at 10525 Whackasackamus Place in Shelton, WA where you make a living as the world's only remaining professional Pinochle player. Since all of your competitors have died and the endorsement money has dried up, you volunteer at the state prison down the road where you ostensibly use bidding-based card games to teach prisoners about mathematical probabilities and business strategy, but really you smuggle hand-rolled cigarettes in your vagina and sell them to the cons for $20 apiece.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Cain

Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on November 05, 2011, 08:58:29 PM
Quote from: Cain on November 05, 2011, 08:14:27 PM
My shoe size is 83.244.236.131 and my favourite color is 349174719

your name is Ambassador Klok Kaos. You live in Saratoga Springs, New York but you are known and noted worldwide for your dashing good looks and musical prowess. When you aren't pursuing your dream of releasing an industrial album consisting solely of the "brown note" dragged out for a bowel-imploding 45 minutes, you put on yellow sunglasses and tour the world as the frontman for your side project band, U2.

I thought that was released under the assumed name of Justin Bieber?

Don Coyote

Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on November 05, 2011, 09:05:07 PM
Quote from: Donald Coyote on November 05, 2011, 08:28:17 PM
9 EEE and Black

Your real name is Myrtle Feinbottom. You live at 10525 Whackasackamus Place in Shelton, WA where you make a living as the world's only remaining professional Pinochle player. Since all of your competitors have died and the endorsement money has dried up, you volunteer at the state prison down the road where you ostensibly use bidding-based card games to teach prisoners about mathematical probabilities and business strategy, but really you smuggle hand-rolled cigarettes in your vagina and sell them to the cons for $20 apiece.

FUCK I GUESS I NEED TO USE MOAR TOR!!!!!!! :argh!: :argh!:

Juana

"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."