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Open Bar: Funnier Than White People Practicing Voodoo

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, June 09, 2014, 03:18:31 PM

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Aucoq

Holy shit that's scary, Roger.  I'm glad to hear it wasn't a stroke though.
"All of the world's leading theologists agree only on the notion that God hates no-fault insurance."

Horrid and Sticky Llama Wrangler of Last Week's Forbidden Desire.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 05, 2014, 03:13:41 AM
GAH! PEOPLE! PLEASE STOP ALMOST DYING!

My father is 71, and has been in ill health for several years.  So, yeah.

Keelin took the evening shift with him, so I could go stir shit, but I'm heading back to the hospital in about an hour.

 
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Junkenstein

Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Luna

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 05, 2014, 12:14:01 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on July 04, 2014, 06:31:45 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 04, 2014, 05:52:24 PM
Quote from: Luna on July 04, 2014, 11:29:42 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 04, 2014, 06:18:04 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 04, 2014, 05:43:33 AM
Quote from: The Suu on July 04, 2014, 04:50:14 AM
Haboob.

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

It's a massive wall of sand and wind. Lawrence of Arabia caliber shit.

That was up North, and it's not quite accurate.  A haboob is when the wind blows directly DOWN, throwing a gigantic pile of the planet and a whole bunch of Coyote shit about a mile straight up.  Then it, you know, comes down.

And when it runs into a rainstorm, as often happens, you get a mud storm.  Driving through them is fun; it's like trying to drive while a hundred people throw Taco Bell refried beans on your windshield every 3 seconds or so.

Down here, we just had sideways rain, and 310 lightning strikes in an hour.  Not quite a record.

I can't imagine why more people don't move there just for the atmospheric theatrics. I am glad you are safe and didn't get hit by lightening. Unless you wanted to, then I'm sorry you didn't.

I can't imagine why, when thinking about pounds of sanded coyote shit flinging itself at my windshield, my first thought was NOT "oh, I gotta go THERE."

The best part is that a haboob is not an instantaneous event.  It's more like someone aimed a sandblaster into a sandbox.  It lasts however long it lasts.

I think I was in one, once. Around 1994. It sucked, because we couldn't DRIVE.

Sure you can.  Only lesser wimps need to SEE to DRIVE.

In other news, I spent all day in the hospital with my father, who woke up this morning and then forgot how to read, write, speak, or see anything to his right.  By the time I got to his house, he had speech back, and didn't want to go to the hospital because he felt fine.

I pointed out that the part of him making the decision was the part that was in question, so he went.

By the time they'd CT'd him and were getting him ready for the MRI, he had regained all of his faculties, including his judgement (and was glad my mother and I made him go in). 

The good news is, this wasn't a stroke, it was something called a "TIA" which is sort of like a warning shot.  He'll be in the hospital at least one more day. 

Bullet dodged.

Yikes!  Glad to hear it wasn't as bad as it could have been, and glad you and your mom talked him into going in.  That's scary shit.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Suu

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 05, 2014, 06:17:44 AM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 05, 2014, 03:13:41 AM
GAH! PEOPLE! PLEASE STOP ALMOST DYING!

My father is 71, and has been in ill health for several years.  So, yeah.

Keelin took the evening shift with him, so I could go stir shit, but I'm heading back to the hospital in about an hour.



But he's a fucking awesome gent, he is. I love reading his snarky comments on FB.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Lenin McCarthy

I'm changing old people's diapers for a living this summer. They're evil. But hey, it's work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 05, 2014, 12:14:01 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on July 04, 2014, 06:31:45 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 04, 2014, 05:52:24 PM
Quote from: Luna on July 04, 2014, 11:29:42 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 04, 2014, 06:18:04 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 04, 2014, 05:43:33 AM
Quote from: The Suu on July 04, 2014, 04:50:14 AM
Haboob.

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

It's a massive wall of sand and wind. Lawrence of Arabia caliber shit.

That was up North, and it's not quite accurate.  A haboob is when the wind blows directly DOWN, throwing a gigantic pile of the planet and a whole bunch of Coyote shit about a mile straight up.  Then it, you know, comes down.

And when it runs into a rainstorm, as often happens, you get a mud storm.  Driving through them is fun; it's like trying to drive while a hundred people throw Taco Bell refried beans on your windshield every 3 seconds or so.

Down here, we just had sideways rain, and 310 lightning strikes in an hour.  Not quite a record.

I can't imagine why more people don't move there just for the atmospheric theatrics. I am glad you are safe and didn't get hit by lightening. Unless you wanted to, then I'm sorry you didn't.

I can't imagine why, when thinking about pounds of sanded coyote shit flinging itself at my windshield, my first thought was NOT "oh, I gotta go THERE."

The best part is that a haboob is not an instantaneous event.  It's more like someone aimed a sandblaster into a sandbox.  It lasts however long it lasts.

I think I was in one, once. Around 1994. It sucked, because we couldn't DRIVE.

Sure you can.  Only lesser wimps need to SEE to DRIVE.

In other news, I spent all day in the hospital with my father, who woke up this morning and then forgot how to read, write, speak, or see anything to his right.  By the time I got to his house, he had speech back, and didn't want to go to the hospital because he felt fine.

I pointed out that the part of him making the decision was the part that was in question, so he went.

By the time they'd CT'd him and were getting him ready for the MRI, he had regained all of his faculties, including his judgement (and was glad my mother and I made him go in). 

The good news is, this wasn't a stroke, it was something called a "TIA" which is sort of like a warning shot.  He'll be in the hospital at least one more day. 

Bullet dodged.

We were Portlanders, which is probably synonymous with "wimp". We get scared when the sun is too bright.

Sorry to hear about your dad, but glad it wasn't the real thing, this time.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 04, 2014, 05:51:03 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on July 04, 2014, 04:19:58 PM
Hung out with Rude last night, first time in a while I've really gotten to spend time with him. Sometimes I forget how much I just completely love that man. I don't know if it's pheromonal or what, I just absolutely, viscerally adore him. I probably get a huge rush of dopamine just from seeing him. He showed up and I was all, OH YEAH, THAT! SQUEEEE!!!!

Had a GF like that.  30 years later, the sight of her still does all manner of rotten shit to the inside of my skull.

We're good friends, so it's all good. And then I hung out with his almost-ex-wife last night (they've been separated for five years but finally filed for divorce a few months ago).
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

So this Neuroeconomics class that looked so interesting is, so far, basically bullshit pseudoscience and witchcraft.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


xXRon_Paul_42016Xxx(weed)

Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on July 05, 2014, 09:57:25 PM
So this Neuroeconomics class that looked so interesting is, so far, basically bullshit pseudoscience and witchcraft.

I havent watched past week 1. When does he start talking about quantum magic brains?

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: xXRon_Paul_42016Xxx(weed) on July 05, 2014, 10:01:26 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on July 05, 2014, 09:57:25 PM
So this Neuroeconomics class that looked so interesting is, so far, basically bullshit pseudoscience and witchcraft.

I havent watched past week 1. When does he start talking about quantum magic brains?

He starts tossing "quantumz" around in week 2, and it looks like from here on out it's going to be "parts of the brain light up".
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

He's also just the worst lecturer ever. Ever. His soothing monotone is almost impossible to listen to, and his quizzes are TERRIBLE.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


xXRon_Paul_42016Xxx(weed)

Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on July 05, 2014, 10:18:51 PM
He's also just the worst lecturer ever. Ever. His soothing monotone is almost impossible to listen to, and his quizzes are TERRIBLE.

His facial expressions are the best too. If you showed me this without the sound I would assume it was a Tim and Eric sketch.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: xXRon_Paul_42016Xxx(weed) on July 05, 2014, 10:27:03 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on July 05, 2014, 10:18:51 PM
He's also just the worst lecturer ever. Ever. His soothing monotone is almost impossible to listen to, and his quizzes are TERRIBLE.

His facial expressions are the best too. If you showed me this without the sound I would assume it was a Tim and Eric sketch.

My boyfriend commented that he looks like Lil Bub.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."