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BUT DISCORDIANISM SHOULD LOOK EXACTLY LIKE THE PD!

JUST LIKE THE GOVERNMENT BEHAVES EXACTLY LIKE THE CONSTITUTION AND M NIGHT SHYAMLAMMA MOVIES ARE JUST LIKE THE TRAILERS!

USER: HAY I CAN'T SCAN TO MY PYOOTUR.

ME: Is the scanner turned on/plugged in/set to Setting X/etc?

USER: YA I CHECKED IT.

ME: Check it again, please.

USER: UMM... OKAY. .. .. .. .. YEAH ITS ALL SETUP AND STUFF, BUT ITS NOT WORKING.

Me: Okay, I'll drive 15 miles to your office and see what's going on.

<25 minutes later>

Me: Ok, let's see it. Oh, look.... THE POWER CORD ON THE BACK OF THE FUCKING SCANNER IS UNPLUGGED! OH GEE I WONDER WHY IT WON'T SCAN YOUR PAGES YOU FUCKING TITWANK?

This happens more than it should. Admittedly, this is the fun part of my job, when I get to do something incredibly simple to fix a computer problem, and then the person is obviously embarrassed and calls themselves names.

USER: OH GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SO DUMB! IT'S A GOOD THING YOU'RE HERE TO SAVE US FROM OURSELVES VEX! HAHAHAHHAHA I'M DUMB.

Me: It's okay, I don't mind coming over here, you're fun to flirt with.

USER: 'BLUSH' AWWW.


side note: this approach sometimes results in people inviting me to work on other types of boxes as well.

my ultimate goal is to set a policy that creates a fucked up password of definite length, and every time they change it, they have to replace each character in it with a key that conforms to a chess knight's move away from the original character on they keyboard.

I think you're confirming more beliefs about IT people than I ever did about cops.

I'm only evil to the really terrible users. People who have no right to even get out of bed in the morning, much less come to work and smear idiot grease into the crevices between keys on their keyboard. Most users aren't that bad, but the bad ones are bad no matter what you do. It's like an arms race with these people, and it quickly degenerates into finding ways to shock them every time they press the S key.

my ultimate goal is to set a policy that creates a fucked up password of definite length, and every time they change it, they have to replace each character in it with a key that conforms to a chess knight's move away from the original character on they keyboard.

I'd set it to *~HOwL_G0d--^&_43b

"GOD"

this is why i set password complexity requirements. i TELL them it's about "security," but really i just love to snicker at people who can barely hold all the requirements for their password in their mind at once, let alone meet them.

It's "Password".

DOES THAT INCLUDE THE QUOTY MARK THINGS?
  \

I forgot my password.

EVERYONE'S PASSWORD is a one of these:

child's name or birthdate
pet's name
favorite sports team
high school girlfriend they never fell out of love with, even after breakup/divorce/cheating/fire/etc
street they grew up on
business phone number

or some combination

plus a few random numbers like 1234 or the date they set the password on.

LOOK MOTHERFUCKER, I'm sorry you failed Kindergarten and they stuck you behind that big fancy fucking desk to punish you for being a moron. I'm also sorry you don't know how a FUCKING PRINTER WORKS. I've been here 6 times to make it print from the right tray and I get it working EVERY SINGLE TIME, then, 15 minutes later, you call back with WOOF WOOF! PRINTER NO WORKING!

So... here's my advice: shut the fuck up. And don't point your blow-hole at me, you fucking porpoise. Just jump through a hoop and eat some more tuna, you fuck. AND STOP PUSHING THE GOD DAMN WRONG FUCKING BUTTONS. If it says SETTINGS, PROPERTIES, OPTIONS, or for the love of Christ, ADVANCED... THEN CLICK AWAY, CLICK AWAY FAST because those words in your vocabulary are synonymous with BRAIN SURGERY, ROCKET SCIENCE, and COUNTING CALORIES: i.e., you don't fucking get it so leave it the fuck alone.

I am by no means a master of the universe, even in my own field of expertise. There's plenty of shit I already don't know, and I don't need you to add "how to dispose of the body" to that list. So please, I'm asking nicely, STOP FUCKING WITH THE SYSTEM. You are a USER of the system, not an ADMINISTRATOR. For fuck's sake. Just because you KNOW HOW TO LOG IN as the Administrator doesn't mean you SHOULD.

And while I'm at it, how about USE THE FUCKING CORRECT RESOLUTION ON YOUR MONITOR. I'm fucking tired of only being able to see 25% of the fucking screen because you're too god damn lazy to buy some glasses. Fuzzy text, ENORMOUS BUTTONS, stupid rotating background images. By the way, 99% of the time, "OH GOD MY COMPUTER IS SLOW," is TARDSPEAK for "HERPDERP I INSTALLED SOME BULLSHIT THAT I SHOULDN'T HAVE."

And.... fuck Windows, too.

premium quality discordian meats, ITT.

[print]

Aside from the part that quotes him a describing himself as one, is there any corroborative evidence that he is a professional journalist?

I DON'T CATCH THAT

          anywhere during the tape(?) - but whether or not this person is a journalist becomes irrelevant. it's not that big of an event, actually quite small as you can see from the footage. people just sit on their hands during the episode(!) everyone in the room had to see the violence taking place. and kitzhaber doesn't even pause?

OVERALL

          i'm kinda blown away that all the online jabber covering this has not resulted in some print!

BUT, THEN AGAIN,

          the 'oregonian' recently ran an article dismissing "9/11 was an inside job" theories as a view held only by uninformed and radical muslims. because that's the news.

I meant in the part of the article you quoted.

The video also appears on another Breitbart site under the headline: "Dems Gone Wild: Citizen Assaulted for Filming John Kitzhaber Event." The byline on the piece – although it's not clear whether he was one of the cameramen – is that of James O'Keefe, a 25-year-old right-wing operative who describes himself as an "investigative journalist and filmmaker."

I agree that it doesn't matter in the sense that SOMEONE should have done something. But as a future attorney, I like to see if people's claims would hold up in a court of law. So... unless he is a professional journalist, I don't think his First Amendment claim will.

Personally I think the idea that one has to be a "professional journalist" in order to document events is a little insulting. Who gets to decide who is "professional" enough? I think there is a legitimate restriction on his 1st Amendment rights in this case, since it is private property, even if the public was invited. Generally speaking, when you invite the public, it means the public is free to attend the event, but not necessarily free to redistribute whatever they receive there. In a privately owned establishment, house rules trump the Constitution (to a point) because nobody is forcing the guy to attend in the first place.

But mainly, yeah, to say only the "professional press" has a right to Freedom of the Press is disgusting, imho.

It's a public event on private property. I think he should have been allowed to film, but I'm not sure his 1st Amendment claim would stand up in court.

it's fucked up that the right to document reality is evaporating.
but isn't that why they make hidden cameras?

Great honking bits of meat stuck between my teeth, so big that they are UNCOMFORTABLE.

but, as you can tell from the following pictures, he is also an Accidental Discordian.







this is what happens when you cross a horrible childhood with the false sense of security offered by myopic religious beliefs, and throw in a dash of "oh god i never actually lived, did i?"

I got a bag of those, and they really are ungodly loud. REALLY REALLY LOUD.

I liked it, but everybody around me though it was obnoxious.