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The Last Whiskey Bar

Started by Suu, December 04, 2012, 03:19:49 PM

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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Signora Pæsior on December 22, 2012, 11:34:27 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on December 22, 2012, 11:09:38 PM
I just went on a fantastic 3-hour hike with my best friend, my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend and mom, and our dogs.

Now, I'm making donuts.

It's a great day!

Oh, fuck you Nigel. Now I want donuts.

:thanks:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


The Good Reverend Roger

Tucson's police department has announced that it no longer has the manpower to respond to accidents unless:

1.  At least one person has a life-threatening injury, or

2.  At least one car is immobile and blocking traffic.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Signora Pæsior

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 23, 2012, 05:15:13 AM
Tucson's police department has announced that it no longer has the manpower to respond to accidents unless:

1.  At least one person has a life-threatening injury, or

2.  At least one car is immobile and blocking traffic.

Those... Seem like polar opposites on a scale of incidents police might be required at.
Petrochemical Pheremone Buzzard of the Poisoned Water Hole

Suu

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 23, 2012, 05:15:13 AM
Tucson's police department has announced that it no longer has the manpower to respond to accidents unless:

1.  At least one person has a life-threatening injury, or

2.  At least one car is immobile and blocking traffic.

:eek:
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

Quote from: Phox on December 22, 2012, 08:21:53 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on December 22, 2012, 08:19:32 AM
Quote from: Phox on December 22, 2012, 08:18:09 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on December 22, 2012, 08:17:11 AM
This is mostly for LMNO, but is good for everyone: http://www.murderfuck.com/
Half a sentence and brain melted.  :lulz:

:lulz: Yay!
Let it be known that I, Doktor D. Jennifer Phox, fully endorse Murderfuck as a model of modern ingenuity and profitability.

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I've always wanted to get into Avocado Ranching and Ghost Whispering . . .
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Suu

I've been introducing Navyguy to the finer points of Floridian cuisine. Yesterday we had Cuban sandwiches, and today we had some alligator at lunch.  He wants shark, but it's not carried much anymore, so my brother has offered to take him out on the boat to get one, but the water is below 70F right now, so fish are lethargic, and the dolphins are along the coast, which makes getting a shark difficult. There's apparently some sort of flounder infestation at the moment though, so that's probably going to be dinner the next time my brother goes out.

We have been here for 2 full days, and Navyguy has already repaired my dad's gas leaf blower, and bought them new components for the back fence for Christmas, since it's falling over and is currently supported by paracord and concrete blocks. ~_~ He's also making no attempts of rescuing me from my brother, other than the fact the new fence will be higher so throwing me over it into the rattlesnake-infested field impossible.

My sister has been re-hired by the MLB, so she's back to being a raving bitch who's too good for anyone because she works 3 jobs and sleeps with baseball players. On the bright side, Navyguy being here stops my mom from having to lament to me about her depression, and it's controlling my dad's temper.

Tomorrow is the annual Christmas Eve invasion of friends, family, neighbors, and anyone who walks by the party and wants a beer, and the day after Christmas I'm headed to Orlando to visit Squid.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

AFK

It occurred to me today that the 11 year relationship I had with my "wife" has been bookended by the LOTR movie trilogies.  Which is poetic in a way.  She gave me a "One Ring" replica as an engagement ring, one of our first dates was seeing the first movie. 


So I guess that means it's time for me to cast my ring back into the fiery chams from which it was made.  I'm just worried she might chuck it back at my head.
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Mangrove

Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 24, 2012, 01:24:35 PM
It occurred to me today that the 11 year relationship I had with my "wife" has been bookended by the LOTR movie trilogies.  Which is poetic in a way.  She gave me a "One Ring" replica as an engagement ring, one of our first dates was seeing the first movie. 


So I guess that means it's time for me to cast my ring back into the fiery chams from which it was made.  I'm just worried she might chuck it back at my head.

Sue Peter Jackson! Find yourself a shonky Lionel Hutz style lawyer and go after him for emotional distress because, if you're successful, it still wouldn't be the dumbest lawsuit in history.  :wink:
What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

LMNO

While you're at it, sue Steve Jackson.  Just because.

Mangrove

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 24, 2012, 01:33:54 PM
While you're at it, sue Steve Jackson.  Just because.

Expect counter suit by Latoyah Jackson. Her lawyer just released the following:

"My client has absolutely no idea what's going, who Mr RWHN is or why he's persecuting her family. However, it sounds like VH1 could make a reality show about it. We just want to be litigious thereby letting the producers & network execs know we are available for work."
What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

LMNO

With batshit crazy commentary from Victoria Jackson:

"I can't stop crying.  America Died.  Thanks a lot, Christians, for not showing up.  You disgust me."

Suu

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 24, 2012, 01:42:14 PM
With batshit crazy commentary from Victoria Jackson:

"I can't stop crying.  America Died.  Thanks a lot, Christians, for not showing up.  You disgust me."

There's a billboard I saw in Florida about an hour north of Tampa that said:

"When Christians vote, America wins! Brought to you by the Tri-County Tea Party."

...Pretty sure those three counties went blue, being the Tampa Bay area and all.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Mangrove

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 24, 2012, 01:42:14 PM
With batshit crazy commentary from Victoria Jackson:

"I can't stop crying.  America Died.  Thanks a lot, Christians, for not showing up.  You disgust me."

:walken:

I had to the google that. Wish I hadn't.  :argh!:
What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

AFK

Quote from: Mangrove on December 24, 2012, 01:32:08 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 24, 2012, 01:24:35 PM
It occurred to me today that the 11 year relationship I had with my "wife" has been bookended by the LOTR movie trilogies.  Which is poetic in a way.  She gave me a "One Ring" replica as an engagement ring, one of our first dates was seeing the first movie. 


So I guess that means it's time for me to cast my ring back into the fiery chams from which it was made.  I'm just worried she might chuck it back at my head.

Sue Peter Jackson! Find yourself a shonky Lionel Hutz style lawyer and go after him for emotional distress because, if you're successful, it still wouldn't be the dumbest lawsuit in history.  ;)


It sounds crazy but it might...just...work! 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

AFK

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 24, 2012, 01:33:54 PM
While you're at it, sue Steve Jackson.  Just because.


Well, it WAS the SJ version of the Principia that I discovere and I DO remember my wife giving me some strange looks when I was trying to explainit to her.  I'm gonna take him to the cleaners!
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.