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ITT, You ask TGRR anything about history, and get the REAL TRUTH™

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, May 10, 2011, 05:59:54 PM

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*GrumpButt*

*sigh* You have to be kidding me.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: LMNO, PhD on May 10, 2011, 07:12:50 PM
Speaking along those lines, let's hear the real story behind Catherine the Great and that horse.

You tell me.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Adios


The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Luna on May 10, 2011, 07:17:30 PM
Tunguska Explosion of 1908.  Meteor, or Tesla fucking about?

As documented in the Encyclopedia Ricterania, that was the tragic result of the first and only attempt to mix vindaloo and vodka in the human body.  Note that this wasn't an explosion, but rather an implosion, resulting in acres of trees pointing toward the erstwhile kitchen/lab, not a few of which were hauled up the arse of the test subject.  The matter was put under lock & key, and not even released after the fall of the iron curtain.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Eve Hill

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 10, 2011, 07:15:12 PM
Quote from: Eve Hill on May 10, 2011, 07:07:49 PM
What really happened during the Apollo 13 mission?

Good one.  The official story has more holes in it than Gabrielle Gifford.  Supposedly, an oxygen tank exploded, tearing a hole in the side of the service module, also causing their electrical power to fail.

However, we all know that oxygen isn't explosive, or our atmosphere would blow up the first time someone carelessly lit a cigarette.

No, what really happened is that Ken Mattingly, the original CM pilot, got a case of the ass when he was yanked from the mission.  Calling in old gambling debts, Mattingly was able to have a bomb put aboard the spaceship.  The bomb would have destroyed the spaceship entirely, but Richard Nixon had caught wind of the plot, and had Spiro Agnew stow away in the service module with a scuba tank.  Agnew's bulk absorbed most of the explosion, but tragically, Agnew was blown into space, where he froze solid, eventually reentering as a solid block of blubber that impacted on some lady's house in England, killing her stone dead.  This was blamed on a passing airliner's "faulty" septic plug.

:spit:

:mittens:

The Good Reverend Roger

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Luna

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 10, 2011, 07:26:33 PM
Quote from: Luna on May 10, 2011, 07:17:30 PM
Tunguska Explosion of 1908.  Meteor, or Tesla fucking about?

As documented in the Encyclopedia Ricterania, that was the tragic result of the first and only attempt to mix vindaloo and vodka in the human body.  Note that this wasn't an explosion, but rather an implosion, resulting in acres of trees pointing toward the erstwhile kitchen/lab, not a few of which were hauled up the arse of the test subject.  The matter was put under lock & key, and not even released after the fall of the iron curtain.

:lulz:
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Dysfunctional Cunt


The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: *GrumpButt* on May 10, 2011, 07:22:49 PM
First Moon landing. What really happened?

Not touching that.  Buzz Aldrin would kill me with one punch, as has been documented on this board.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

What happened to the people on Roanoke Island? WTF is "CROTOAN"?
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Khara on May 10, 2011, 07:27:45 PM
Little Big Horn?  What really happened there?

"Where'd all these fucking indians come from?"
- General Custer, last words.

Well, it's really simple.  Custer was set to wipe out an entire tribe in one blow, but he made two crucial mistakes.

1.  He offended Tonto, who then refused to scout for him, and

2.  He failed to hire Roy Rogers (who would fucking anybody while singing a trail song.

The results were predictable.  
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Adios

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 10, 2011, 07:30:40 PM
Quote from: Khara on May 10, 2011, 07:27:45 PM
Little Big Horn?  What really happened there?

"Where'd all these fucking indians come from?"
- General Custer, last words.

Well, it's really simple.  Custer was set to wipe out an entire tribe in one blow, but he made two crucial mistakes.

1.  He offended Tonto, who then refused to scout for him, and

2.  He failed to hire Roy Rogers (who would fucking anybody while singing a trail song.

The results were predictable.  

I fucking love the movie Little Big Man.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on May 10, 2011, 07:28:21 PM
What happened to the people on Roanoke Island? WTF is "CROTOAN"?

They got sick of waiting, and caught a ride with some Dutch guys.  They carved "Croatoan" on a tree as a mindfuck, and eventually settled in the "Red Hook" neighborhood of New York, where they lived happily ever after as pimps and prostitutes...Hence the term "Hooker".
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Charley Brown on May 10, 2011, 07:31:38 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 10, 2011, 07:30:40 PM
Quote from: Khara on May 10, 2011, 07:27:45 PM
Little Big Horn?  What really happened there?

"Where'd all these fucking indians come from?"
- General Custer, last words.

Well, it's really simple.  Custer was set to wipe out an entire tribe in one blow, but he made two crucial mistakes.

1.  He offended Tonto, who then refused to scout for him, and

2.  He failed to hire Roy Rogers (who would fucking anybody while singing a trail song.

The results were predictable.  

I fucking love the movie Little Big Man.

Utter crap.  Dustin Hoffman doesn't look anything like Tonto.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Luna

Chicago Fire.  1871.

Did the cow do it?  Always thought that was a lot like blaming the dog for knocking Mom's vase off the table.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."