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Damn, Pent, that was great.  I'm glad you're going for it.

Wow, it even made Family Circus funny.

[MRARAMMRGRAAAAAAHHRA]

I was in Amherst at some shitty little ice cream/hot dog/fried food stand.  I went back to my car to get a bottle of water.  A pickup truck had parked pretty close to the door, but only the cab part was really visible with this grizzled farmer looking dude sitting there.  So I stepped between the two vehicles and then
MRARAMMRGRAAAAAAHHRA
a fucking screech from no worldly creature erupted behind me.  The fury driving it, the pure hatred for me for being in its presence, was visceral.  I turned, expecting some horrible thing and thinking of how I might escape.  In the back of the guy's truck was a sheep in a little metal cage, a dull and bored look on its face.

I've never wanted a tazer so badly in my life.

[Average Time Spent Being Happy Drops To 13 Seconds Per Day]

Average Time Spent Being Happy Drops To 13 Seconds Per Day

BERKELEY, CA—A study published in the latest issue of the Journal Of Social Sciences revealed that the amount of time spent being happy has dropped to an all-time low of 13 nonconsecutive seconds per day. "According to our data, the average American experiences a 0.8-second window of happiness upon awakening, before remembering that they're conscious beings in a relentlessly bleak and numbing world," said Dr. Derek Moore, lead author of the paper. "Other periods of happiness include 1.9 seconds after a good meal; 0.6 seconds upon receiving a paycheck; 1.1 seconds following completion of a scientific study; and the 2.5 seconds approaching orgasm, just before the guilt sets in." Researchers also recorded the smallest period of contentment yet, a 3.7-millisecond interval preceding the realization that one was experiencing happiness and that it could not possibly last.

source

Reading that made me genuinely happy for at least a minute. "Before remembering that they're conscious beings in a relentlessly bleak and numbing world."  Damn, good stuff.

Check's in the mail.

Duvel is a fairly common special beer here. It's strong, and pretty good. Let me know how you like it It's supposed to be served in a special kind of glass for reasons of foam and nose aroma and all that, so if you got a glass that looks somewhat like it, use that:

http://images.google.com/images?num=100&q=duvel%20glas&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi

The pics show it's filled half foam and half beer. It's pretty hard to make it not come out like that, since it foams like a motherfucker. I, however like a bit less foam on my beer. Two fingers, but no less than that. You can achieve that by rinsing the glass thoroughly using a tiny drop of dishwash detergent (of course wash it out with lots of water), which you probably want to do with any glass you intend to serve beer in. Then you pour the beer carefully along the side of the glass while holding it diagonally. The clean and un-greased glass decreases friction, and the pouring style reduces splash. That way you get less foam. Pay attention to how much foam you get, if it's very little, pour the last bit of the bottle straight in, to get some splash and your 2 fingers of foam.
In fact there's a good chance that if you do not follow this procedure you get more foam than will fit in the glass. So pour it carefully either way.

Unfortunately, I got this the morning after I poured my first Duvel.  I didn't sleep very well last night because I was cleaning up foam.  As soon as the beer hit the glass, it started reacting insanely, growing swiftly and violently.  I thought at first that the foam would subside so I continued pouring, but it grew and it grew.  Soon it had overwhelmed the glass I'd prepared for it and not long after that covered the entire counter.  Whatever came in contact with the foam then foamed itself, doubling, tripling its size.  I was awash in a sea of beer head.  It was a joyous occasion, I must say, for dream fulfillment purposes, but was a mess to clean up.  As I floated above this tidal wave of foam out my apartment and down the street I managed to find a tiny drop of crisp, clear Duvel, which I drank with relish.  I spent the last 8 hours cleaning it and explaining the event to my landlord and the firefighters who came to assist me.

Duvel - It's another one that's like $17/4pack here, and quite a bit lighter in body than I would have liked.  It would probably fit a hot summer day very well.  I'll have to come back to this one.

Thanks for the heads up Trip.   

Dok, I just wanted to say that when I was first dicking around these parts I thought your treatment of noobs was a bit unnecessary.

Now that I've been here a while I can understand how seeing the same exact thing over and over again can get pretty fucking tiring.

I'd like Remington's okay on this one, considering it's essentially fan fiction from his wire pieces.

Rebar Man

In the woods of Maine there stands an old farmhouse.  It's near a lake and has long been abandoned.

The windows are shattered.

The shingles are shredded.

The paint and wallpaper are peeling from the walls.

Piles of old garbage and broken furnishings litter the interior.  And on the second floor, up a creaky old set of stairs, there once sat a man made of wire on a plain wooden table gouged and worn from the years.

The wire man knew a family once.  He knew the people who placed him on that table and the man who created him.  He knew the fresh strong feeling of the new rebar wire that made him.

Then one day there was a fire.  His family was away and the farmhouse still stood, but they never returned.

The Rebar Man waited for a long time.  A year went by and nobody came.  People began to explore the old farmhouse.  They were kids who were curious and young adults who were bored.  To many of them the Rebar Man went unnoticed.  Some few picked him up, some fewer spoke slow words he did not know, and all set him back on his table when they left.  These were the greatest moments of his existence.

While he waited, and he always waited, he looked down the hallway to the window outside.  He would see snow and rain, he would see the leaves changing colors and the cars passing by.  But his favorite times were when he saw sunlight.

Time moves slowly for the man made of wire.  One day, five years after the fire, a rock was thrown through the window.  It took him two months to be surprised and to know the glass lay broken.  That was the day he decided to reach the sunlight.

He was made to stand, it would seem, but not to walk.  For one month did he step forward, for one second did he fall, and for some time longer did he realize it.  But the window was closer.

Two years it took the Rebar Man to fall from the table and two months to right himself from his back.  But the window was closer.

Again and again he saw the snow and rain, the leaves changing colors and cars passing by.  Again and again he felt when the air went moist, when something began happening to his wire.  He slowly rusted.  But the window was closer.

Patches of orange-brown flakes were about him after three years.  He was halfway to the window.  A small group of people came to the house and searched its rotting shell.  They stomped on decrepit floor boards and gazed upon fire wrecked fixtures.  They took to the stairs and stood before the window.  They stepped on the Rebar Man's right arm and leg, dragging him a little before realizing it.  They left.  His right side was crushed and moved poorly.  And the window was further away.

Five years passed.  He felt the tremors of visitors cautiously looking about before leaving the old house.  Few came near him, none disturbed him.  He was covered in rust.  But the window was closer.

The rust grew thick.  His movements became slower.  From his hand first touching the light cast from the window til his body rested entirely within it four months passed.  He rolled onto his back with some time and gazed up.  The window was there.  But it rained on him.

The next day he felt little.  He was rusted and bent oddly.  He cracked and broke in places.  But the sun shone that day and he basked in its light.

Then the man made of wire knew no more.

So I bought a $23 (fnord) six pack with a small variety of brands I never got around to trying.  I'm halfway through and sharing just a few quick thoughts, mostly comparisons of one another, lest I forget.

Gulden Draak - very tasty, which I expected as I've heard such good things about it.  Not worth the price of admission in comparison to a few domestic Belgian-styles.  I don't have the sharpest taste so I can chalk it up to that.

Allagash White - I like Allagash but, surprise, I still don't like white ales even when they make them (Allagash Black is incredible).

Goose Island Pere Jacques - decent, but lacked a little something in the body as far as a well rounded taste goes

The other three are Allagash Double, Goose Island Belgian Style, and Duvel.  I'll get back here when I try them.

I've had a lot of different beers, but have only very recently begun to appreciate Belgian styles, so I'm in for a lot of fun learning and delicous times.  So far Gulden Draak is the tastiest, but like I said it's so freaking expensive ($18/4pack here) I'd rather settle for a better balance of taste and price - Ommegang Hennepin or Abbey Ale and pretty much the whole Unibroue line.

Please stay, mysterious stranger!  Clearly you have so much to teach us, the unlearned and wretched of Discordia.

Friends, I implore you, come.  Come see this odd wanderer who says such strange things in silly but wise tongues.  It is the one spoken of, the one from places afar who shall cast judgment upon us and our deeds, to teach us to better ourselves.  It is the prophet, the one who has been doing it right all along and knows the only true interpretation of our faith.

Visitor, let me welcome you to principiadiscordia, a place made to exchange ideas of merit.  Those without we cast aside through rigorous testing, those formidable may gain foothold as some of our tenets.  Of course, forgive me wise one for I speak to the more learned than myself, you are aware of all that has gone on here.  You have clearly digested all this information, have undoubtedly read each and every discussion to have formed your opinion thusly.

Share your wisdom, newcomer, and rejoice with us that we are united!

Can you spot the Chaos star?

http://www.cracked.com/article_18476_5-ancient-acts-war-that-changed-face-earth_p2.html

Do you mean to insinuate that the Dutch are all spags?  Or just the people of Naarden?

Trip 0 and Regret are the only Dutch I know and they are both spags.  It's the only conclusion I can come to.

Seriously though that photo didn't look real, I thought it was some rendered image.  Looks like I've made a fool of myself.   

I'm definitely interested.  Do you want original submissions only or are previous pd postings subject for publication?  I'm sure plenty of people have things on here they're proud of, if the project is not aimed partially to generate new content.

Can you spot the Chaos star?

http://www.cracked.com/article_18476_5-ancient-acts-war-that-changed-face-earth_p2.html

That depends on your philosophy.

If you believe that the State, by its use of compulsion and coercion is morally illegitimate, then its not ideal. One could argue that if we can't trust humans, the most ideal thing would be to stick them all in cages and let them out only to work to pay for their care and feeding.

But, I doubt that most of us would agree with that.

Tucker makes an interesting comparison between that argument and one that was popular against abolitionists... In short, many slave owners/pro-slavery groups argued that the 'negros' were uneducated, unable to take care of themselves or be responsible for themselves. Slavery was 'good' because it was the best way to take care of these people. It wouldn't be safe or wise to just let these uneducated, ignorant people run free.

Abolitionists responded to that by arguing that it was the institution of slavery which kept them ignorant and uneducated. They pointed out that the above reasoning was circular.

At the time there was also the argument that organized religion was necessary because people were superstitious and NEEDED the system, that without the Church there would be no basis for morality. Yet, the Church itself is responsible for furthering the superstitions of its patrons and as many atheists argue today, a morality based on fear of hell isn't much of a morality anyway.

Those who wish to abolish slavery and those who wish to abolish organized religion, in the mind of Ben Tucker anyway, have a lot in common with those that want to abolish the State.

A couple things, Rat.  Taking the State rationale to a conclusion of caging people is making the same mistake you argue against that anarchism means ultimately raping and pillaging.

The quote from Tucker is an insult, and not even a veiled one.  Equating non-anarchists with medieval clergy and slave owners is just throwing mud around, it makes no point other than a disparaging one against the other side.  I wouldn't recommend tossing that comparison into any discussion.

He was equating the arguments used not the actions of the groups...

Oh fuck it... nevermind.

Obviously anarchy is the desire to have no rules at all and run naked through the streets screaming and hitting each other with sticks, poo and the occasional bullet. The people who created the philosophy of anarchism were obviously evil, on drugs and had no idea what they were talking about and certainly had no valid points to make.... and we can learn all of that from a dictionary, rather than reading the stuff these people wrote.

Does that fit with everyones filters now?

Of course he's not talking about the actions of the groups, but he's calling the arguments used short sighted, foolish, and flawed in that comparison.  Here we go - defending anarchism is much like fucking a pig in its ass.  Now obviously you aren't fucking a pig in its ass but now your ideas are those of a pig fucker.  How is that not an insult?

And there it is again, this insinuation that because someone doesn't agree that anarchy is plausible they're somehow narrow minded.  Rat, you can get right off that fucking high horse you apparently think you're riding.  At no point did I respond to you with any hostility before this.  Even after that bullshit comment you laid out in response to my questioning.

That depends on your philosophy.

If you believe that the State, by its use of compulsion and coercion is morally illegitimate, then its not ideal. One could argue that if we can't trust humans, the most ideal thing would be to stick them all in cages and let them out only to work to pay for their care and feeding.

But, I doubt that most of us would agree with that.

Tucker makes an interesting comparison between that argument and one that was popular against abolitionists... In short, many slave owners/pro-slavery groups argued that the 'negros' were uneducated, unable to take care of themselves or be responsible for themselves. Slavery was 'good' because it was the best way to take care of these people. It wouldn't be safe or wise to just let these uneducated, ignorant people run free.

Abolitionists responded to that by arguing that it was the institution of slavery which kept them ignorant and uneducated. They pointed out that the above reasoning was circular.

At the time there was also the argument that organized religion was necessary because people were superstitious and NEEDED the system, that without the Church there would be no basis for morality. Yet, the Church itself is responsible for furthering the superstitions of its patrons and as many atheists argue today, a morality based on fear of hell isn't much of a morality anyway.

Those who wish to abolish slavery and those who wish to abolish organized religion, in the mind of Ben Tucker anyway, have a lot in common with those that want to abolish the State.

A couple things, Rat.  Taking the State rationale to a conclusion of caging people is making the same mistake you argue against that anarchism means ultimately raping and pillaging.

The quote from Tucker is an insult, and not even a veiled one.  Equating non-anarchists with medieval clergy and slave owners is just throwing mud around, it makes no point other than a disparaging one against the other side.  I wouldn't recommend tossing that comparison into any discussion.