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tell me about your sex life

Started by rong, June 21, 2014, 02:52:45 PM

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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Cainad (dec.) on June 23, 2014, 12:41:49 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 23, 2014, 12:07:55 AM
I have a young friend who has been all dramatic and moany lately about how hard it is to date when you're kinky, and how will she ever find a kinky boyfriend, blah blah blah. I'm like, how about you start by finding a guy you LIKE?

She discovered bondage six months ago. That's it. Bondage. It's not like she has some weird specialized fetish that's hard to get people to indulge. It's not even anything I think most people other than the most straightlaced would consider kinky, any more than spanking or cross-dressing or threesomes.

I am starting to think that for some people, their kink is thinking of themselves as kinky.

:lulz: Like some kind of weird meta-eroticism.

Yeah, exactly... I wonder if it's not that their kink itself turns them on as much as thinking about how kinky they're being makes them feel sexy. Same effect in the long run, but so much more annoying for those of us who are unwitting (and unwilling) participants in their kink, via being constantly informed/reminded of it.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on June 23, 2014, 12:47:54 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 23, 2014, 12:07:55 AM
I have a young friend who has been all dramatic and moany lately about how hard it is to date when you're kinky, and how will she ever find a kinky boyfriend, blah blah blah. I'm like, how about you start by finding a guy you LIKE?

She discovered bondage six months ago. That's it. Bondage. It's not like she has some weird specialized fetish that's hard to get people to indulge. It's not even anything I think most people other than the most straightlaced would consider kinky, any more than spanking or cross-dressing or threesomes.

I am starting to think that for some people, their kink is thinking of themselves as kinky.

It's like SGitR. KGitR.

:lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Pæs on June 23, 2014, 12:48:45 AM
SIGNORA SAYS TO ME, SHE SAYS "EY, FUCKPIG. HOW YOU WANT TO GET NAILED?"

ME, OF COURSE, I COME RUNNING IN, WIDE WIDE GRIN.

BAM. NAIL STRAIGHT THROUGH FOOT. CAR KEYS STOLEN FROM POCKET.

NO MIGUELS COME TO MY AID EVEN AS I SHOUT "MIGUEL".

OUT OF MIGUELS AGAIN. PERHAPS SHE HAS GONE TO GET MORE?

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 23, 2014, 01:18:52 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 23, 2014, 12:01:03 AM
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on June 22, 2014, 10:40:23 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 22, 2014, 05:57:25 AM
Quote from: rong on June 21, 2014, 02:52:45 PM
go ahead.  if you want to.

since i got divorced my sex life has been fucking great.

Well, things have gotten better since I had that horrible vestigial twin removed from Jenn's back, and surgically attached to my nads.  This brings up some weird potential incest issues on her part, but that's a risk I'm willing to take.  I'm not just one of your fried chicken tramps, you know.  I have needs.

:lulz:

This sort of thing is precisely why my sex life is only interesting to Villager and myself. How can we top that?

Something I really didn't get until I was in my mid-late 30's; most people's sex lives are only interesting to themselves. And sometimes to medical anthropologists, as in the case of Roger.

They're always JUDGING me.  "That's not how you use a tack hammer", they say, "You can't actually make your leg DO that".

Well, it's MY monkey, and I'll GET IT ON however I please.

This is why they study you, Roger. Science needs to know. Before it's TOO LATE.

Again.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 23, 2014, 01:28:53 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 23, 2014, 01:18:52 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 23, 2014, 12:01:03 AM
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on June 22, 2014, 10:40:23 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 22, 2014, 05:57:25 AM
Quote from: rong on June 21, 2014, 02:52:45 PM
go ahead.  if you want to.

since i got divorced my sex life has been fucking great.

Well, things have gotten better since I had that horrible vestigial twin removed from Jenn's back, and surgically attached to my nads.  This brings up some weird potential incest issues on her part, but that's a risk I'm willing to take.  I'm not just one of your fried chicken tramps, you know.  I have needs.

:lulz:

This sort of thing is precisely why my sex life is only interesting to Villager and myself. How can we top that?

Something I really didn't get until I was in my mid-late 30's; most people's sex lives are only interesting to themselves. And sometimes to medical anthropologists, as in the case of Roger.

They're always JUDGING me.  "That's not how you use a tack hammer", they say, "You can't actually make your leg DO that".

Well, it's MY monkey, and I'll GET IT ON however I please.

This is why they study you, Roger. Science needs to know. Before it's TOO LATE.

Again.

Why?  It always ENDS the same way..."<insert horrible shit>, and then she smacked my bitch up.  Again."
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 23, 2014, 01:31:25 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 23, 2014, 01:28:53 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 23, 2014, 01:18:52 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 23, 2014, 12:01:03 AM
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on June 22, 2014, 10:40:23 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 22, 2014, 05:57:25 AM
Quote from: rong on June 21, 2014, 02:52:45 PM
go ahead.  if you want to.

since i got divorced my sex life has been fucking great.

Well, things have gotten better since I had that horrible vestigial twin removed from Jenn's back, and surgically attached to my nads.  This brings up some weird potential incest issues on her part, but that's a risk I'm willing to take.  I'm not just one of your fried chicken tramps, you know.  I have needs.

:lulz:

This sort of thing is precisely why my sex life is only interesting to Villager and myself. How can we top that?

Something I really didn't get until I was in my mid-late 30's; most people's sex lives are only interesting to themselves. And sometimes to medical anthropologists, as in the case of Roger.

They're always JUDGING me.  "That's not how you use a tack hammer", they say, "You can't actually make your leg DO that".

Well, it's MY monkey, and I'll GET IT ON however I please.

This is why they study you, Roger. Science needs to know. Before it's TOO LATE.

Again.

Why?  It always ENDS the same way..."<insert horrible shit>, and then she smacked my bitch up.  Again."

But the cheese fire, though, and the thing with the egg, and also that one machine with the mayonnaise and the dog running off with the dildo... these need to be properly recorded. For posterity.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Especially because setting the kitchen on fire as a prelude to receiving a beating is a fairly unusual form of foreplay.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 23, 2014, 01:35:48 AM
Especially because setting the kitchen on fire as a prelude to receiving a beating is a fairly unusual form of foreplay.

I dunno.  It's not THAT unusual.

And then there was this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SwlqFc8RHA

You may recall.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 23, 2014, 01:37:21 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 23, 2014, 01:35:48 AM
Especially because setting the kitchen on fire as a prelude to receiving a beating is a fairly unusual form of foreplay.

I dunno.  It's not THAT unusual.

And then there was this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SwlqFc8RHA

You may recall.

Oh, that gets the ladies going every time. I confess I'm not immune.  :fap:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Cainad (dec.)

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 23, 2014, 01:37:21 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 23, 2014, 01:35:48 AM
Especially because setting the kitchen on fire as a prelude to receiving a beating is a fairly unusual form of foreplay.

I dunno.  It's not THAT unusual.

And then there was this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SwlqFc8RHA

You may recall.

FUCK YEAH

that got my jimmies ALL KINDS of rustled

The Good Reverend Roger

I recall that I couldn't turn my head for like a fucking week.   :lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Roly Poly Oly-Garch

Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 23, 2014, 12:07:55 AM
I have a young friend who has been all dramatic and moany lately about how hard it is to date when you're kinky, and how will she ever find a kinky boyfriend, blah blah blah. I'm like, how about you start by finding a guy you LIKE?

She discovered bondage six months ago. That's it. Bondage. It's not like she has some weird specialized fetish that's hard to get people to indulge. It's not even anything I think most people other than the most straightlaced would consider kinky, any more than spanking or cross-dressing or threesomes.

I am starting to think that for some people, their kink is thinking of themselves as kinky.

Yes. Very hard to find kinky people in Portland. For instance, sometimes you have to take such extreme measures as walking down the street or going to the grocery store. At least 1 in every 30 Portlander is straight vanilla. It's like trying to find hay in a haystack...which happens to have a needle somewhere in it.
Back to the fecal matter in the pool

Roly Poly Oly-Garch

#59
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 23, 2014, 01:25:38 AM
Quote from: Cainad (dec.) on June 23, 2014, 12:41:49 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 23, 2014, 12:07:55 AM
I have a young friend who has been all dramatic and moany lately about how hard it is to date when you're kinky, and how will she ever find a kinky boyfriend, blah blah blah. I'm like, how about you start by finding a guy you LIKE?

She discovered bondage six months ago. That's it. Bondage. It's not like she has some weird specialized fetish that's hard to get people to indulge. It's not even anything I think most people other than the most straightlaced would consider kinky, any more than spanking or cross-dressing or threesomes.

I am starting to think that for some people, their kink is thinking of themselves as kinky.

Remind her that she should get explicit consent before ear-fucking you...then send her to a munch.

:lulz: Like some kind of weird meta-eroticism.

Yeah, exactly... I wonder if it's not that their kink itself turns them on as much as thinking about how kinky they're being makes them feel sexy. Same effect in the long run, but so much more annoying for those of us who are unwitting (and unwilling) participants in their kink, via being constantly informed/reminded of it.

Maybe remind her that ear-fucking requires consent...then send her to a munch.
Back to the fecal matter in the pool