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My Girl Friday

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, June 25, 2014, 02:22:03 PM

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LMNO

Though I somewhat like the serial nature to these stories (~1000+ word bursts), this is one of those stories I need to keep reading.


You're so selfish, having a real job and making money to support yourself, rather then spending all of your available time writing for us for free.

Junkenstein

Getting very interesting. Nicely done.

Keep it coming!
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 27, 2014, 06:31:27 PM
Though I somewhat like the serial nature to these stories (~1000+ word bursts), this is one of those stories I need to keep reading.


You're so selfish, having a real job and making money to support yourself, rather then spending all of your available time writing for us for free.

I am a bastard. 

But the next two chapters (Monday and Tuesday) will be much longer.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


P3nT4gR4m

This subject matter is so - right up my street - it's practically in my house, sitting on my lap and drinking my beer. Eagerly awaiting you shitting on my dreams and turning them into something degenerately horrible.

DO NOT DISAPOINT ME!  :argh!:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on June 27, 2014, 08:13:25 PM
This subject matter is so - right up my street - it's practically in my house, sitting on my lap and drinking my beer. Eagerly awaiting you shitting on my dreams and turning them into something degenerately horrible.

DO NOT DISAPOINT ME!  :argh!:

The future was bad for you.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

P3nT4gR4m

Be still my jaded heart

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Pæs


Luna

Murder mystery, all sideways, I love it.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

The Good Reverend Roger

After the revelation that her deceased boss's backup was missing, Dakota became a little agitated.  Not belligerent, but a little strange.  She claimed to have no idea who might have taken it and, judging from her surprise at it being missing, she either knew nothing about it, or was an Oscar-winning actress.  I was more inclined to believe the former.

"Well, Dakota, the next thing I think we need to see is your registry.  Everyone who has been downloaded into your system, whether they are currently functional or not."

"I don't know...I think...Confidentiality..."

"Good girl.  You just call Mrs Horne and get permission, then.  We'll keep ourselves amused."

Dokota hurried off to a phone.  I turned to Friday.  "So, how was your date?"

"Awful.  And terrible."

"I thought you liked this one."

"He sneered at me."

"He sneered?  At you?"

"That's what I said."

"So what did you do?"

"I broke it off."

"You broke up with him?"

"Of course.  I also broke it off."

"Is that some kind of young person metaphor?"

"No.  I grabbed a pair of channel locks and I..."

"I get the picture.  Lauren Rae Friday, you're gonna have to stop mutilating your ex-boyfriends."

"I don't see why."

"Um, prison?"

"They haven't made the jail that can hold ME, Hamish.

At this point, Dakota came back, holding a flash drive.  "This is the registry, the customer list.  It also includes people we declined to serve."

"Declined to serve?  Elaborate, please."

"Well, they're all in there together.  Would you put Charles Manson in with a group like that?"

"No...", I said.

"In a heartbeat", Friday rebutted, with some venom.  Dakota looked at her in alarm.

"Well, that's enough for today, I think.  You can rest assured we'll be back."  I took the flash drive and put it in the inside pocked of my double-breasted suit.

Later on, I was having a coffee at the local bistro, while Friday went through the names on the registry, and the two of us more or less killed a pack of smokes.

"Found some interesting stuff, Hamish."

"Like what."

"Well, first, that Detective Wilson was a customer.  For about the last year."

"How the hell did he afford that?  Their rates are pretty steep."

"He was given the treatment in return for unspecified services."

"I smell a rat.  A large one, probably from Denmark."

"You should stop mixing your metaphors.  It's bad for you."

"How is it bad?"

"It's bad on account of I'll tear of your face and wear it for a hat."

"You're so adorable."

"So are you.  For the moment."

"So, what was the other thing?  The other thing you found?"

"Oh, yeah.  You're on the list, too."

"WHAT?"

"Yep.  Says here you got copied two years ago."

"I did no such thing."

"Says they did it while you were in the hospital."

"I was never in the hospital at that time."  I was getting a little irate.

"Why are you so upset?  So they have a copy of you in their stupid machine.  It doesn't change the fact that the real you is still running around."

"If it's true, I'm offended by it.  I can't explain why.  But we're going back tomorrow."

"Why?"

"Because I feel like talking to myself."

"I bet that's what Wilson did."

"What?"

"I bet he totally talked to himself, and then he went to the bar and shot himself."

"Well, I won't do that."

"I betcha he thought HE wouldn't, either."

"I won't.  I'm doing this."

"Okay", Friday trilled, "What kinda flowers you want on your coffin?"

"Har de har har." 

The coffee shop's radio started playing some Benny Goodman.  I relaxed, listening to the music for a moment, until Friday said "I have everything we need, I think.  Let's get out of here before that horrible music makes me homicidal."

"What's so horrible about it?"

"It's OLD."

"It just came out."

"It's still OLD."

I gave up.  I settled our bill, and we walked back to the office.  I sat in my chair for a nap, and Friday went into her closet.  What the hell did she do in there?  I got up and knocked.

"Go away."

I went back to my chair and leaned back.  Presently, I fell asleep and had nightmares of electronic ghosts.

(to be continued)




" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Q. G. Pennyworth


LMNO

Time seems to be an active character in this story.

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

Wheee!! I bet Hamish's face would make a glorious hat.
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 30, 2014, 04:44:06 PM
Time seems to be an active character in this story.

Seems to, doesn't it?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.