So Roger, I've been looking around and

[Nephew Twiddleton]

things just don't seem like they should be. Boston looks all funny. The buildings are in all the wrong places and the windows are bashed out, and I can't really remember when the last time I saw the sun was. Not that the skies are perpetually overcast, it's just that they seem to be. Strange people keep talking to me. Gods, near as I can tell, since they have that weird sort of voice like when they mask someone's identity on TV. Except that they're not even bothering to speak to me in English, but their strange divine language. I don't like what they're saying, as it seems that they're both confusing me from one of them or some sort of high ranking minion and that they're trying to convince me of something. Maybe I should be glad that I can't understand them. Their smiles are the worst.

The people aren't right either. They don't seem real anymore. They don't even seem like strange looking apes, but rather more like sleepwalkers. Meat machines. They don't really even feel anything or think anything. They're just convinced that they do. I'm like them of course. I'm not really here, if you get what I'm saying. I'm at the most a fleeting thought at any given moment. A computer with the screensaver on. But meat machine isn't really right either. The flesh is too transient. Now I'm simultaneously advanced and primitive, depending on your perspective - the same model of computer with software from 40,000 years in the future, and now 40,000 year old obsolescence. Funny how that works sometimes.

An echo of my uncle was in the network tonight, and it got me to thinking, (well as much thinking as things like myself are capable) how utterly ridiculous our existences are. In 100 years he'll just be a serial number in the junk yard. In 150 years, so will I. So will you and the rest of the spags here. So will Villager. Drove me mad for a split second (well, as mad as things like myself are capable) and almost said "whatever you say, dude, just make me like you and I'll buy whatever you're selling" to those those pesky deities.


Still can't understand what they're saying though.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Still can't understand what they're saying though.

But when you think about it, do you WANT to? 

So yeah, you woke up one day and realized you're on the planet of the apes.  None of their progamming makes any sense...Their lips move like lightinging, but they speak only gibberish.  And of course you don't see the sun, the apes burn dangerous chemicals all day to make more ape toys, so there's a toxic cloud that you've never noticed until now.

The really horrible part, of course, is that you always lived there...But being an ape yourself, you never noticed.  But as things fall together, you start standing more upright, and you begin to notice these things.  And once you notice them, you can never really drop back on all fours again.  You are doomed to the day-to-day stark horror of being a Doktor, just as I am, just as LMNO is, just as many of the other members are.  You CAN fool yourself with the TV or by working yourself into a coma, but now you'll aways realize that it's a sham, that you're avoiding The Truth.

And the other apes will notice this.  Oh, yes.  You smell wrong now, and they will act uncomfortably in your presence.  The more aggressive ones may even attack.  The only hope you have is to find other humans to band together with.  They can usually be found at the library...Failing that, jump on the Purple Line and go hide out with Richter.  He's well armed & fortified, and has been holding off monkey swarms for years.

Okay for now.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Still can't understand what they're saying though.

But when you think about it, do you WANT to? 

So yeah, you woke up one day and realized you're on the planet of the apes.  None of their progamming makes any sense...Their lips move like lightinging, but they speak only gibberish.  And of course you don't see the sun, the apes burn dangerous chemicals all day to make more ape toys, so there's a toxic cloud that you've never noticed until now.

The really horrible part, of course, is that you always lived there...But being an ape yourself, you never noticed.  But as things fall together, you start standing more upright, and you begin to notice these things.  And once you notice them, you can never really drop back on all fours again.  You are doomed to the day-to-day stark horror of being a Doktor, just as I am, just as LMNO is, just as many of the other members are.  You CAN fool yourself with the TV or by working yourself into a coma, but now you'll aways realize that it's a sham, that you're avoiding The Truth.

And the other apes will notice this.  Oh, yes.  You smell wrong now, and they will act uncomfortably in your presence.  The more aggressive ones may even attack.  The only hope you have is to find other humans to band together with.  They can usually be found at the library...Failing that, jump on the Purple Line and go hide out with Richter.  He's well armed & fortified, and has been holding off monkey swarms for years.

Okay for now.

After further rest, the metaphor makes more sense to me now.

This is obviously based on some dream that woke me up, but spoke to me nonetheless.

The world ended a long time ago, Rog. It's just that no one wants to seem to acknowledge the fact. They keep saying that it will come later and it never does.

Anyway I got a taste of what it was like to be like the gods, now that I can remember a bit more of it, and it was worse than being a monkey. Monkeys can choose to not do something. A god just does whatever thought pops into its head. Their words are nonsense- they've driven themselves mad with the knowledge that they are slaves to themselves. They impose the rules on us because they can't follow any. Morality is ultimately meaningless to them. Which is why when they impose it on us- mixed in with their crazy talk anyway- it doesn't make sense to us. Zeus knows it's a bad idea to cheat on Hera. But the bastard just can't stop himself. If he thinks a chick is hot all of a sudden he's a swan or a golden shower or some crazy shit. Again- nonsense that just pops into his head. They're the same as monkeys, except they traded their filter in for power.

No, I'm ok with not being like them, even though the dying part still sucks.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

The world ended a long time ago, Rog. It's just that no one wants to seem to acknowledge the fact. They keep saying that it will come later and it never does.

We here in Tucson have accepted this fact.  Arizona is the afterlife.

And as far as being a God goes, well shit.  Who wants to be pestered for primates begging for what they think they want?

And, like Zeus, most of the Gods are monkeys, too.  After all, who MADE them?  And with very few exceptions, monkeys make their Gods out to be shitheads like themselves.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

The world ended a long time ago, Rog. It's just that no one wants to seem to acknowledge the fact. They keep saying that it will come later and it never does.

We here in Tucson have accepted this fact.  Arizona is the afterlife.

And as far as being a God goes, well shit.  Who wants to be pestered for primates begging for what they think they want?

And, like Zeus, most of the Gods are monkeys, too.  After all, who MADE them?  And with very few exceptions, monkeys make their Gods out to be shitheads like themselves.

Even the gods that are not in primate form, we demand into some primate form. Perhaps that's another reason why they don't like to listen. If they think about us too much they start to look and think like us too. Safer for them just to ignore us.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I ran into my cousin on the way to work yesterday. May have played a part in my having the dream that sparked this and why my uncles ghost was there.

He and i used to be very close then he started liking drugs i thought he was too smart to touch in the first place. I expected the next time i saw him would be in a casket. He was well dressed but looked like hell. I pretended not to see him. He didnt seem to notice me.

[BadBeast]

Still can't understand what they're saying though.

Zeus knows it's a bad idea to cheat on Hera. But the bastard just can't stop himself. If he thinks a chick is hot all of a sudden he's a swan or a golden shower or some crazy shit. Again- nonsense that just pops into his head.

Zeus also knows it's a bad idea to marry his own sister in order to found a dynasty of inbred socially 'awkward' misfits, who all live in a secure compound in order to 'stay frosty'. Is it any wonder he nips out for a bit of strange now and then?

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Still can't understand what they're saying though.

Zeus knows it's a bad idea to cheat on Hera. But the bastard just can't stop himself. If he thinks a chick is hot all of a sudden he's a swan or a golden shower or some crazy shit. Again- nonsense that just pops into his head.

Zeus also knows it's a bad idea to marry his own sister in order to found a dynasty of inbred socially 'awkward' misfits, who all live in a secure compound in order to 'stay frosty'. Is it any wonder he nips out for a bit of strange now and then?

Oh sure, from a mortal perspective.

But within the context here, it's not even a decision. A god thinks something and it occurs. A god's mind is something akin to Balor's poisoned eye. He looks at someone with it and they're dead. The eye didn't decide on it at all, it's just that some silly bastard got in its field of vision.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Still can't understand what they're saying though.

Zeus knows it's a bad idea to cheat on Hera. But the bastard just can't stop himself. If he thinks a chick is hot all of a sudden he's a swan or a golden shower or some crazy shit. Again- nonsense that just pops into his head.

Zeus also knows it's a bad idea to marry his own sister in order to found a dynasty of inbred socially 'awkward' misfits, who all live in a secure compound in order to 'stay frosty'. Is it any wonder he nips out for a bit of strange now and then?

Oh sure, from a mortal perspective.

But within the context here, it's not even a decision. A god thinks something and it occurs. A god's mind is something akin to Balor's poisoned eye. He looks at someone with it and they're dead. The eye didn't decide on it at all, it's just that some silly bastard got in its field of vision.

Gods never do shit like that anymore.  If I was God, you'd KNOW it.

I'll just SEE yer primate disassociation and raise ya a simmering case of One Day He Just Exploded, Officer.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Still can't understand what they're saying though.

Zeus knows it's a bad idea to cheat on Hera. But the bastard just can't stop himself. If he thinks a chick is hot all of a sudden he's a swan or a golden shower or some crazy shit. Again- nonsense that just pops into his head.

Zeus also knows it's a bad idea to marry his own sister in order to found a dynasty of inbred socially 'awkward' misfits, who all live in a secure compound in order to 'stay frosty'. Is it any wonder he nips out for a bit of strange now and then?

Oh sure, from a mortal perspective.

But within the context here, it's not even a decision. A god thinks something and it occurs. A god's mind is something akin to Balor's poisoned eye. He looks at someone with it and they're dead. The eye didn't decide on it at all, it's just that some silly bastard got in its field of vision.

Gods never do shit like that anymore.  If I was God, you'd KNOW it.

I'll just SEE yer primate disassociation and raise ya a simmering case of One Day He Just Exploded, Officer.

I don't doubt it. God's gotten lazy with the weird events thing. Well, weird in the seemingly impossible sort of way. Maybe that's when the world ultimately ended- when God stopped caring about keeping up appearances.