The Enlightenment

[Guido Finucci]

I'm convinced that it's a sick, twisted joke played on us by genetics and evolution.

'Tis that and all. Research has shown that, if you take an unsuccessful male parrot (in the mating hoighty-toighty stakes) and staple a brightly coloured hat to its head then it gets laid lots, lots more. Almost to the exclusion of the previously successful (again, as in toight, like a toiger) male parrots.

Besides, exotic nookie is one of the many things that makes globe trotting worthwhile.

[LMNO]

I'm convinced that it's a sick, twisted joke played on us by genetics and evolution.

'Tis that and all. Research has shown that, if you take an unsuccessful male parrot (in the mating hoighty-toighty stakes) and staple a brightly coloured hat to its head then it gets laid lots, lots more. Almost to the exclusion of the previously successful (again, as in toight, like a toiger) male parrots.

Besides, exotic nookie is one of the many things that makes globe trotting worthwhile.

I really, really want to start stapling hats onto birds.



[edit:  this also proves the Monty Python observation:  "People aren't wearing enough hats."]

[East Coast Hustle]

also, yes, everything I write is true. As a gonzo journalist, it is my supreme duty above all others to ONLY SPEAK THE TRUTH. That being said, I should also warn you, Czech winters fuckin suck. I.E. The snow is just now starting to melt today. It's the fucking middle of March. Also, the Czech language is confusing as fuck. Kind of makes me think the Czechs are inherent Discordians. They're always doing things that just don't make any sense and serve no purpose other to baffle and confuse. Good People. A little on the stingy side. They really like ketchup. and Beer. two staples of the Czech diet.

dude, I live in Maine...the snow here is nowhere even close to melting, and we'll probably get another foot or two dumped on us before it finally melts sometime in the middle of april...anyway, thanks for the info, I'll have to go "Czech" it out when I make my way over there...

[LMNO]

::slaps Bath on the back of the head for making that Czech pun::

[East Coast Hustle]

dude, that pun made itself...I was just a conduit.

[Merciless Heathen]

Actually, Czech girls are pretty easy. I could get laid ALOT more than I already do, I'm just lazy, but yes, you're right, I definitly do have the exotic foriegner thing going for me. Actually, that very well could be ALL that I've got goin for me, I used to be a nice romantic type guy, but that all changed when I realized that sentimentality and false emotions fuckin suck, and it is very possible and much more preferable (even easier in some cases) to just cut to the chase, get the sex and leave, that is, until I can find one girl that I could actually stand long enough to carry on a relationship with and remain faithful too, which isn't likely, but I do hope for it someday deep down in the bottom of my heart. For now, I only love three women in the world, and that's my Momma, my sister, and my Mammy.
Turd man, if snow doesn't bother you, then you've got nothin to lose, I'm from Kentucky, where its usually nice and warm, so this weather is a big pain in the ass for me, thankfully, its over now. I think. Actually, if you decide to come here anytime before July, go to a town called Frydek-Mistek on the eastern end, outside of Ostrava, find a pub near the square called Pavlac and go there on a Friday or a Saturday night, and look for a big crowd of dudes with dreadlocks, and say "Ty Vi?° kde je Patricku?" and if I'm not already sitting there, they'll know where to find me. We'll drink some beer and smoke some hashish.
Exotic nookie kicks ass, my girlfriend Veronika can't speak a word of English, which is great, because that way I can't fuck up and say something stupid, like I usually do with women. What's more, I can tell my friends who CAN speak english about the other girls while Veronika is standing right next to me. Also she can't talk my fuckin leg off or ask me ri-goddamn-diculous questions like "what are you thinking?"  Good Gods, I fuckin hate it when they say that!
Parrots kick ass, and so do people who wear cool hats. I have a black rabbit fur fedora. It's purty.

[LMNO]

Oooh, I'm sorry.  I didn't realize you were such an asshole....

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

Oooh, I'm sorry.  I didn't realize you were such an asshole....

And he is worried about hanging with girls that talk tooooo much  

[East Coast Hustle]

no need to be a hater.

he's just saying what every healthy red-blooded male in the world is thinking on a daily basis. And I'd say he's got himself a pretty good setup over there.

[Hoshiko]

Exotic nookie kicks ass, my girlfriend Veronika can't speak a word of English, which is great, because that way I can't fuck up and say something stupid, like I usually do with women. What's more, I can tell my friends who CAN speak english about the other girls while Veronika is standing right next to me.

Ah, I see. So THAT'S why she's still with you.

Exotic nookie is cool, and "What are you thinking?" sucks no matter the gender asking it. If you want exotic nookie that's all well and good (and genetic!), but to do it with a girlfriend who doesn't know about it... uncool. On top of that, to keep that permanent girlfriend only because she doesn't speak english and can't figure out what a clueless idiot you are... Well, that just takes the effort right out of it, doesn't it?

Guess the staples and hats aren't enough for some guys, so they gotta lie on top of it.

Amateur.

[Horab Fibslager]

Exotic nookie kicks ass, my girlfriend Veronika can't speak a word of English, which is great, because that way I can't fuck up and say something stupid, like I usually do with women. What's more, I can tell my friends who CAN speak english about the other girls while Veronika is standing right next to me.

Ah, I see. So THAT'S why she's still with you.

Exotic nookie is cool, and "What are you thinking?" sucks no matter the gender asking it. If you want exotic nookie that's all well and good (and genetic!), but to do it with a girlfriend who doesn't know about it... uncool. On top of that, to keep that permanent girlfriend only because she doesn't speak english and can't figure out what a clueless idiot you are... Well, that just takes the effort right out of it, doesn't it?

Guess the staples and hats aren't enough for some guys, so they gotta lie on top of it.

Amateur.

why aren;t you talking is worse. i went mad from ti once tho the question went unsaid at the time, teh last tiem tho, it ws spoken, and it was like, uh, i dunno, why aren;t you?

<- is a quiet guy who lieks to think and lsiten, and if someone has a prblem with that, they can tell him all about it.

[Hoshiko]

"Why aren't you talking?"

"Because I'm trying to think about how to dispose of your body."


#15 on my list of things I want to say before I die.

[Merciless Heathen]

Guess the staples and hats aren't enough for some guys, so they gotta lie on top of it.

Please, tell me, how can I lie to a girl I can barely even talk to? I've already said, I only speak the Truth, although I do confess to manipulating that Truth and on occasion withholding parts of it. However, never once did I tell Veronika that I love her or that she's the only girl in my life or any of that nonsense. I did tell Katka that I would like to see her again, because I did want to see her again, she was a cool girl, but she hasn't popped up anywhere, and didn't leave me a number or anything of that sort. Our level of communication is quite low and pathetic, but Veronika keeps me around for the same reasons I keep her. Who knows what she does on the weekends when I'm not around her? I sure as hell have no idea, nor do I care. I don't lie to women. I just don't tell them everything.
I sure as hell don't ever get the "Why aren't you talking?" bullshit from Veronika, because she knows good and damn well why I don't talk; My Czech is quite limited to "How are you?" "What are you doing?" "You know where I can find some hashish?" and "hey, you got a cigarette?"
I've already stated, I despise false emotion, relationship games, and sentimenality. I'm young, I'm 5,000 miles away from home, I'm in a strange place where no one understands a damn word I say, what else to do to pass the time except chase girls and smoke anything that burns? The girls here are far to beautiful for me to only sample one of them, and I'm only here for a year.  I've had enough "serious" relationships. One girl held me in an iron grip and made me go to church with her every wednesday and sunday, and quite humiliated me on top of that. The girl who I give the credit of ruining/enlightening me was way more of a conniving whore than I will ever be, that and she gave me ALOT of scars just so I won't ever forget her. Any man who has been pissed on as much as I have would do EXACTLY the same thing I'm doing.
Girls are just as horny as guys are, they're just more subtle. No shame in that, who doesn't like sex?

On another note, I've found Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, gonna be gettin my hands on that rotten stuff pretty soon. Expect an interesting post afterwards.

[Horab Fibslager]

talk to ehr english, ro teach ehr english. or learn chezch. play 10k bwc with her.

watch movies. or tv. or play two player video games. that's always good for filling int eh silent hours

[Hoshiko]

This-  

What's more, I can tell my friends who CAN speak english about the other girls while Veronika is standing right next to me.

implies dishonesty. Would you say the same thing to them in Czech with her standing there if you could? You're making excuses in order to find workarounds for being open. In my book, that's dishonest.

There's nothing wrong with not wanting to have a serious relationship. But if you can communicate with her enough to let her know that she's your girlfriend, then you can find a way to communicate that you're also seeing other people. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing that you're sleeping with lots of women, and this has nothing to do with sentimentality. Hell, I applaud you for making the most of a good situation. But she should know that that's what you're doing, if only for safety reasons.

As I've said before, monogamy isn't a natural thing and many of us aren't made for it, but being open about your intentions should be a priority.