Durn-fool kids

[Manta Obscura]

When my kids were younger I took them out for the annual candy begging.  There were these two teenagers dressed up as Dracula and he was walking the other kid who was dressed as a werewolf on a leash.  They were out to terrify the little kids and would chase and jump out at them.  Well they had my daughter in tears when my youngest son (dressed as Batman) told them to leave his sister alone.  The werewolf gets in his face and say what are you going to do Batman?  Duston stepped back and just like he learned in Tae Kwon Do did a perfect roundhouse straight into the werewolfs groin.  As the werewolf is laying on the ground howling in agony, his friend looks down at him and says Dude, Batman kicked your ass.....

It was one of my best Halloweens 

This year the boys have friends over for a movie marathon and I take my daughter out.  She only has a couple more years before she's too old.  I just don't let my kids trick or treat after they turn 12.  They have to find alternate entertainment and pay for it themselves because if they steal my eggs or TP they are DEAD!

I just want you to know, Khara, that your son is my hero.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

When my kids were younger I took them out for the annual candy begging.  There were these two teenagers dressed up as Dracula and he was walking the other kid who was dressed as a werewolf on a leash.  They were out to terrify the little kids and would chase and jump out at them.  Well they had my daughter in tears when my youngest son (dressed as Batman) told them to leave his sister alone.  The werewolf gets in his face and say what are you going to do Batman?  Duston stepped back and just like he learned in Tae Kwon Do did a perfect roundhouse straight into the werewolfs groin.  As the werewolf is laying on the ground howling in agony, his friend looks down at him and says Dude, Batman kicked your ass.....

It was one of my best Halloweens 

This year the boys have friends over for a movie marathon and I take my daughter out.  She only has a couple more years before she's too old.  I just don't let my kids trick or treat after they turn 12.  They have to find alternate entertainment and pay for it themselves because if they steal my eggs or TP they are DEAD!

I just want you to know, Khara, that your son is my hero.

[Lymantria Dispar]

You know who I'm talking about.  I'm talking about those sarcastic, obnoxious 14-17 year olds who come to your door, dressed in no costume except the vague and fruitless guise of a misguided Abercrombie and Fitch poser.  Wearing no costume at all, these little punks hold out their pillow case/bag/whatever, NOT SAYING "TRICK OR TREAT," and simply expect you to dump a handful of candy into their already bulging cache of sweets.  Then, they turn around without saying thank you and they walk off.

I pick the green and/or spoiled tomatoes from my garden and reserve them for these kidz. Oh, I don't just dump the tomatoes into their bag, rather I tell them something like "Here you go guys, have some fun, but not around here".  Actually, I'm hoping they'll throw them at the wrong person & get their ass kicked!

[hooplala]

"We're serial killers, and just look like normal people."

Ripped off from Wednesday of the Addams Family.

[Manta Obscura]

"We're serial killers, and just look like normal people."

Ripped off from Wednesday of the Addams Family.

Blatantly so. But the year before last I had a little snot say it to me, so my recitation of it wasn't without real-life precedent.

[Triple Zero]

When my kids were younger I took them out for the annual candy begging.  There were these two teenagers dressed up as Dracula and he was walking the other kid who was dressed as a werewolf on a leash.  They were out to terrify the little kids and would chase and jump out at them.  Well they had my daughter in tears when my youngest son (dressed as Batman) told them to leave his sister alone.  The werewolf gets in his face and say what are you going to do Batman?  Duston stepped back and just like he learned in Tae Kwon Do did a perfect roundhouse straight into the werewolfs groin.  As the werewolf is laying on the ground howling in agony, his friend looks down at him and says Dude, Batman kicked your ass.....

that is awesome.

last Tuesday, we got kids here with colourful paper lanterns, singing (vaguely catholic inspired) songs (badly) for "Saint Martinus". they get candy for that too. I'd greatly prefer it if they'd switch the paper lanterns for costumes and the songs for "trick or treat"

[Elder Iptuous]

last Tuesday, we got kids here with colourful paper lanterns, singing (vaguely catholic inspired) songs (badly) for "Saint Martinus". they get candy for that too. I'd greatly prefer it if they'd switch the paper lanterns for costumes and the songs for "trick or treat"

shoulda given them stale crackers and a shotglass of grapejuice.

[Minxys]

Why give out generic gum when you can give out nicotine gum and make them all go bonkers for the night, give 'em all stomach aches, headaches, and the shits? You could also buy Bertie Botts jelly beans, and pick out all the tasty flavors. The kids will be so insistent on finding a tasty jelly bean that they'll probably choke them all down. I suggest you package them in small cellophane Halloween themed bags in conjuction with the nicotine gum, so when they eat all those nasty jell beans, they'll reach for the gum to get rid of the flavor, and end up getting high off the gum. Remember to buy the strongest nicotine gum you can find. Some of those little brats smoke anyway. If those kids know what's good for them, the little assholes won't come back.

[Ari]

Why give out generic gum when you can give out nicotine gum and make them all go bonkers for the night, give 'em all stomach aches, headaches, and the shits? You could also buy Bertie Botts jelly beans, and pick out all the tasty flavors. The kids will be so insistent on finding a tasty jelly bean that they'll probably choke them all down. I suggest you package them in small cellophane Halloween themed bags in conjuction with the nicotine gum, so when they eat all those nasty jell beans, they'll reach for the gum to get rid of the flavor, and end up getting high off the gum. Remember to buy the strongest nicotine gum you can find. Some of those little brats smoke anyway. If those kids know what's good for them, the little assholes won't come back.

3 posts in and I already like you more than most of the other new folks with a hundred posts in a few days, who just babble in conformity.

[Manta Obscura]

Why give out generic gum when you can give out nicotine gum and make them all go bonkers for the night, give 'em all stomach aches, headaches, and the shits? You could also buy Bertie Botts jelly beans, and pick out all the tasty flavors. The kids will be so insistent on finding a tasty jelly bean that they'll probably choke them all down. I suggest you package them in small cellophane Halloween themed bags in conjuction with the nicotine gum, so when they eat all those nasty jell beans, they'll reach for the gum to get rid of the flavor, and end up getting high off the gum. Remember to buy the strongest nicotine gum you can find. Some of those little brats smoke anyway. If those kids know what's good for them, the little assholes won't come back.

Because giving nicotine products to children, even if it's just nicotine gum, skirts the fringes of legality, and if one of the little fuckers is able to trace the source of it back to you, it could result in a sticky situation that wouldn't be worth the hassle.

Regular stale gum is the best way to go, trust me. I've been doing it for years.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Yeah, but it was a funny post anyway.

[Manta Obscura]

Yeah, but it was a funny post anyway.

I agree. In a better, more civilized world, Minxys solution would be the preferred method of teenage git deterrant.

[Minxys]

Haha! Thank you.

"From the makers of Mother-In-Law-Be-Gone! is the new Revolutionary! product that will protect your home and garden, new Teenage Git Deterrent! That's right, Teenage Git Deterrent! Our new patented technology allows you to simply attach the attractive lawn decor to any patio, lawn, veranda, balcony, deck, front yard, back yard, side yard, or doorstep, and live worry-free in your house, town house, penthouse, guest house, loft, mobile estate, condominium, castle, apartment, cottage, or hut by detecting your undesired pests and emitting a "clean" (go green, folks!) deterrent. Adjust the user-friendly dial on a meter of irritation. Set to "Easy Listening" to discourage loiterers. This revolutionary device gives you freedom and options from Agitated Doberman to Angry Hornet Nest, that will target loudmouthed, nosy adolescents and dreaded ding dong ditchers. For the vandalizing pests that just don't get the hint, set the dial to Turret(armor piercing bullets not included), and if this doesn't resolve your neighbor issue, we'll give you your money back! We also offer Religious Solicitor Deterrent as an add-on for $80 dollars, but we'll throw it in FREE if you call in the next ten minutes! WHAT A DEAL! For five payments of $555.55, we'll give you the Teenage Git Deterrent, the Religious Solicitor Adapter, and the classic Mother-In-Law-Be-Gone. YOU CAN'T FIND THIS IN ANY STORE! Call us now at 1-868-666-8888 to get your hands on the greatest domestic technology of the decade!"

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Yeah, but it was a funny post anyway.

I agree. In a better, more civilized world, Minxys solution would be the preferred method of teenage git deterrant.

In a better, more civilized world, the teenage gits would be at home watching Halloween on DVD and leaving everyone alone!

[Manta Obscura]

Yeah, but it was a funny post anyway.

I agree. In a better, more civilized world, Minxys solution would be the preferred method of teenage git deterrant.

In a better, more civilized world, the teenage gits would be at home watching Halloween on DVD and leaving everyone alone!

I would have agreed with you, Khara, if Minxys hadn't posted this:

Haha! Thank you.

"From the makers of Mother-In-Law-Be-Gone! is the new Revolutionary! product that will protect your home and garden, new Teenage Git Deterrent! That's right, Teenage Git Deterrent! Our new patented technology allows you to simply attach the attractive lawn decor to any patio, lawn, veranda, balcony, deck, front yard, back yard, side yard, or doorstep, and live worry-free in your house, town house, penthouse, guest house, loft, mobile estate, condominium, castle, apartment, cottage, or hut by detecting your undesired pests and emitting a "clean" (go green, folks!) deterrent. Adjust the user-friendly dial on a meter of irritation. Set to "Easy Listening" to discourage loiterers. This revolutionary device gives you freedom and options from Agitated Doberman to Angry Hornet Nest, that will target loudmouthed, nosy adolescents and dreaded ding dong ditchers. For the vandalizing pests that just don't get the hint, set the dial to Turret(armor piercing bullets not included), and if this doesn't resolve your neighbor issue, we'll give you your money back! We also offer Religious Solicitor Deterrent as an add-on for $80 dollars, but we'll throw it in FREE if you call in the next ten minutes! WHAT A DEAL! For five payments of $555.55, we'll give you the Teenage Git Deterrent, the Religious Solicitor Adapter, and the classic Mother-In-Law-Be-Gone. YOU CAN'T FIND THIS IN ANY STORE! Call us now at 1-868-666-8888 to get your hands on the greatest domestic technology of the decade!"

Hilarious, Minxys. If you ever create it, just remember to send me royalties for coining the name.