Messages

Link because might be NSFW
http://imgur.com/AYo91S8

I never noticed this behavior before.
It made me realize how frustrated I get at the upper crust white folk on Park Ave who take their sweet ass time crossing, yet I'll stop my damn car on a three lane highway to move a turtle.

I live near Full Sail, where there are students of all nationalities. It's a really diverse area. They don't really bother me cause they're all just trying to get to their overpriced sham classes. But those skeevy rich people downtown... I hate them.

shit.
I'm guilty.

My god that thing looks delicious

Why yes, that is probably the most racist song I've ever heard.

It's like America keeps on getting America-er.

Naw.  It's like all the stupid people chose to identify themselves at the same time.

Can we move them all out to "the farm" that my mom sent my guinea pig to live at when he got real old?

Once again.. I have no fucking idea what just happened.

It's like America keeps on getting America-er.

WOMP/CAPTION, PLS

              /
Come mistah tally mon tally me ba--OHSHIT MON! Hide the deadly black tarantula!!

I suck at this but I love this photo for some unexplainable reason

OMFG 

 

That's awesome

I will gladly twist a broken beer bottle into ANYONE that wants to bleed freely.
But wait, there's more!
Act now and you may also receive at no additional cost, a good clean punch in the throat!
What a bargain! Ladies, this is too great a deal to pass up.
Pick up the phone, try not to pass out from your own armpit hair odor, and call me now.

Hello, I am back.  I am feeling entirely too well to be at work, which is never a good sign.  Mike the engineer was trying to explain something about maximum temperatures for confined space entry, and I was trying to explain to him that I wrote the procedure.  This led Lilly to ask where I got my information because it's very inconvenient that we have to let things cool down for 96 hours, and a 150C shouldn't be TOO bad, if they laid cardboard down to crawl on.

Naturally, I refused.  Mike was getting more and more agitated.  People were getting information from people who weren't him.  He started making a low keening noise, like a starving dog....It make us all look at him in horror.  The poor bastard had reached crush depth, and it was only 7:45AM on a Monday.  He had blood in his nose, and his eyes were rolling around and around and around, trying to look at everyone at once.  Baby Engineer and I were trying to quietly make book on whether or not he was having a stroke, when he suddenly vomited all over the table, killing the PC projector, which shorted to death on his vomit without a single spark or pop.  It just quietly died.

Mike began screaming about how nobody respects his knowledge and his PE stamp, with blood streaming out of his nose and vomit caked on his chin and shirt.  Then he ran out the door and got into his truck, and roared out of the parking lot, howling all the way.

All of this made dealing with the residual brain flukes easier, let me tell you.  I was just a paranoid asshole with a headache.  Mike was doing a full-on nervous breakdown wobbler, old school.  It's made me like him a little.  Almost.

Holy shit, that's amazing! 

Holy shit, I can't believe I missed this! 

Also congrats Nigel!! Success WOOOO!
Also also- I have no idea what a hootnanny is other than what you get when you mix an owl and a goat, but it sounds fun?

GOOD MORNING!




So I woke up at 9:15 and was pissed that my alarm didn't go off. Checked my clock on my phone "Why the hell isn't there an alarm set for Monday!!", I yelled.
I promptly texted my boss to inform him of this clock situation and that I would mostly likely be running late.
His response quickly snapped me back to reality. "Um, Squid. It's Monday.".

Of course it's Mond--- oh. We're closed Mondays.

WELP, always a good thing to occasionally remind my boss that he hired a functional retard. Fuck.

I'm only a little kind of sorry
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgd1LaKQVy4

I don't have kids, so that sounds kind of fucked up to me.


Remember, I don't have kids, so my perspective is most likely off

Compassion is a learned behavior.

This.
Now mind you, I am not ok with someone physically harming a child. EVER. But a tap on the bum hurts their feelings, and therefore they don't do the thing that made mommy hurt their feelings. Followed by an explanation of why mommy had to hurt their feelings, and that they should never do the thing, teaches them valuable life lessons. AND, as Rog says, compassion.