PlayboyGASM

[Telarus]

I love the idea that it's all going to point discretely  towards Tuscon. We could weave some Lennon / Beatles /  messages into the thread, after all,
"Jo-Jo built his home in Tuscon Arizona, bought some Californian grass"!   I'm going to have a Mansonesque sift through some old Beatles lyrics, find some nutty, but plausible pointer as to who, or what Jo-Jo could be.

I've also had some half credible crackpot stuff rattling around in my head for a while now, about an the build up of  low frequency sub-sonic noise, and how it's conducive to a general condition of constant low intensity stress in a population. And how domestic electrical goods are all tuned to hum inaudibly between certain frequencies. Deliberately to build a condition of general, but non-specific malaise among  a population.  I mean, it's not the kind of thing you'd notice until someone pointed it out to you, and then you'd notice it all the time. and now I notice it all the time. And how the Bass in modern Dance music has dropped right down to the audible limit of human hearing, and below, so now, every speaker system sold, needs a Sub Woofer to reproduce  accurately the frequencies we listen to. That's a fairly recent development. And it's well documented that the Security Forces have been developing Low Frequency Sound, as another weapon in their non-lethal Arsenals. The market for non-lethal Weaponry will soon be as big as the stuff that kills you. At least one oil tanker has successfully repelled Somalian Pirates by using a Sub-sonic Throbber, that exposure to for any extended period of time, (2 minutes) produces nausea, and voiding of the bowels, and when cranked up to eleven, can liqueify  your liver at 400 mtrs.

Yeah, with Roger sat at the middle of it all, like some huge, bloated Machiavellian Spider, at the center of the web, bristling with sensory mind lasers, and a H.I.M.E.O.B.S  T Shirt on. And a look of profound innocence on his face.

My friend Johnny Brainwash has an Erisian Ganesha-in-a-gas-mask shirt that eerily resembles that......

On a serious note, is there going to be some sort of 'reveal' or 'climax'?

[Lord Quantum]

Aaah, ok, I kinda lost the OP in all of the replies.

The idea is to send 1,000 letters to Playboy in which we attempt to connect every known conspiracy theory to a specific Discordian cabal. So who's in?

Did you mean each conspiracy we cite is connected to a different cabal, or that they are all the machinations of a single cabal (the former is a tad more believable).

In retrospect I think that maybe the total amount of letters should go down from 1,000 (which now seems overly ambitious) to 100. The original idea was to continue AbbyGasm (in which we wrote about 7 letters) except in a slightly different direction. The concept was supposed to involve connecting existing Discordian cabals to existing conspiracy theories. I thought that it would be easier to do it like this if we didn't have to generate our own conspiracy theories, but I don't see anything wrong with the way things have developed (fake cabals and brand new theories). The real point of all this was simply creating a totally insane long-term plan.

[Lord Quantum]

So here's the letter I've been writing. What do you guys think?


Dear Hef,

As I'm sure you've noticed, political apathy is on the rise. And I know that this must really sadden someone like you who has been such a tireless champion of many worthwhile causes over the years. The good news, I suppose is that the turnout for the last Presidential election was the best it's been since Nixon (hmmm) but the bad news is that it's all a scam (politics I mean). And I mean that literally. You know this. It's your classic good cop, bad cop. The bad cop tells us trade our (social) freedom for (economic) security, while the good cop tells us to trade in our economic freedoms for our social freedoms. It's a two man, con is what it is! But what you don't know (what nobody knows) is that it's not even a two man con – it's a one man con. Ever wonder why things never seem to change at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? Ever wonder why even diametrically opposed Presidents like Bush and Obama seem to have so many of the same policies? It's not because of the "pressures of the job" or any of that nonsense, it's because there's really only one man in Washington. Or Philadelphia actually (the real capitol never moved). That's all I can tell you for now, 'till I know that you're ready to hear the truth (I know that you've got a lot on your plate). I'll send you the second piece of the puzzle in my next letter.

Sincerely,

Eric Burke

[Nephew Twiddleton]

So here's the letter I've been writing. What do you guys think?


Dear Hef,

As I'm sure you've noticed, political apathy is on the rise. And I know that this must really sadden someone like you who has been such a tireless champion of many worthwhile causes over the years. The good news, I suppose is that the turnout for the last Presidential election was the best it's been since Nixon (hmmm) but the bad news is that it's all a scam (politics I mean). And I mean that literally. You know this. It's your classic good cop, bad cop. The bad cop tells us trade our (social) freedom for (economic) security, while the good cop tells us to trade in our economic freedoms for our social freedoms. It's a two man, con is what it is! But what you don't know (what nobody knows) is that it's not even a two man con – it's a one man con. Ever wonder why things never seem to change at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? Ever wonder why even diametrically opposed Presidents like Bush and Obama seem to have so many of the same policies? It's not because of the "pressures of the job" or any of that nonsense, it's because there's really only one man in Washington. Or Philadelphia actually (the real capitol never moved). That's all I can tell you for now, 'till I know that you're ready to hear the truth (I know that you've got a lot on your plate). I'll send you the second piece of the puzzle in my next letter.

Sincerely,

Eric Burke

I like it

[Lord Quantum]

Thanks...but where the Hell is everybody else?

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

So here's the letter I've been writing. What do you guys think?


Dear Hef,

As I'm sure you've noticed, political apathy is on the rise. And I know that this must really sadden someone like you who has been such a tireless champion of many worthwhile causes over the years. The good news, I suppose is that the turnout for the last Presidential election was the best it's been since Nixon (hmmm) but the bad news is that it's all a scam (politics I mean). And I mean that literally. You know this. It's your classic good cop, bad cop. The bad cop tells us trade our (social) freedom for (economic) security, while the good cop tells us to trade in our economic freedoms for our social freedoms. It's a two man, con is what it is! But what you don't know (what nobody knows) is that it's not even a two man con – it's a one man con. Ever wonder why things never seem to change at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? Ever wonder why even diametrically opposed Presidents like Bush and Obama seem to have so many of the same policies? It's not because of the "pressures of the job" or any of that nonsense, it's because there's really only one man in Washington. Or Philadelphia actually (the real capitol never moved). That's all I can tell you for now, 'till I know that you're ready to hear the truth (I know that you've got a lot on your plate). I'll send you the second piece of the puzzle in my next letter.

Sincerely,

Eric Burke

Not bad

Though given that Playboy gets lots of SRS letters from SRSLY crazy conspiracy theorists... you may really need to go Over The Top to get any notice.

[Hoser McRhizzy]

I thought it was a good teaser. 

And I'm glad you kept that "only you can help us, Hef" tone: he's a great humanitarian, a political powerhouse - protector of all that is good, cute, fluffy and righteous.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

So here's the letter I've been writing. What do you guys think?


Dear Hef,

As I'm sure you've noticed, political apathy is on the rise. And I know that this must really sadden someone like you who has been such a tireless champion of many worthwhile causes over the years. The good news, I suppose is that the turnout for the last Presidential election was the best it's been since Nixon (hmmm) but the bad news is that it's all a scam (politics I mean). And I mean that literally. You know this. It's your classic good cop, bad cop. The bad cop tells us trade our (social) freedom for (economic) security, while the good cop tells us to trade in our economic freedoms for our social freedoms. It's a two man, con is what it is! But what you don't know (what nobody knows) is that it's not even a two man con – it's a one man con. Ever wonder why things never seem to change at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? Ever wonder why even diametrically opposed Presidents like Bush and Obama seem to have so many of the same policies? It's not because of the "pressures of the job" or any of that nonsense, it's because there's really only one man in Washington. Or Philadelphia actually (the real capitol never moved). That's all I can tell you for now, 'till I know that you're ready to hear the truth (I know that you've got a lot on your plate). I'll send you the second piece of the puzzle in my next letter.

Sincerely,

Eric Burke

Excellent!

[Telarus]

Thanks...but where the Hell is everybody else?

Finals.

[Lord Quantum]

Though given that Playboy gets lots of SRS letters from SRSLY crazy conspiracy theorists... you may really need to go Over The Top to get any notice.

Though given that Playboy gets lots of SRS letters from SRSLY crazy conspiracy theorists... you may really need to go Over The Top to get any notice.

What would be Over the Top though? Should I accuse Gen. David Petraeus of preparing a coup against the President (apparently this is an actual rumor floating around Congress)? I can't think of anything that really fits into the good cop/bad cop routine. The American Dynasty thing, Stephen Colbert is actually the President, Sarah Palin and the apocalypse...yeah, I don't know. I got nuthin'. Thoughts?

Thanks...but where the Hell is everybody else?

Finals.

But it's like June. I've had finals twice already by this time (regular Spring semester and then the 1 month May-mester) and you're just getting around to the first round? Gotta catch up man.

[Hoser McRhizzy]

BUMP to say - I'm going to print and send LQ's letter today if there are no suggestions for tweaking it.

[DeusExMachina]

How about mentioning about homosexuals being in control and how they murdered Patton as a coup, he was really in charge of the fifth order of Judicers of America who are the real government running out of Philadelphia god cop, bad cop